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I'm not one to gossip but ------------ Orlando Bloom left his wife and child for Condola.
Condola needs to leave this guy alone and let him sort out his life.
These types of relationships never end well. I am sure Phylicia is not pleased. I love that woman. I used to make believe that she was my mother when I was younger.
To be honest, the op should expand her dating horizon and not only seek out educated, white, fit, faithful, handsome men. Also not all men have these categories, as for men being faithful, I have to admit I'm not and plenty of men are not faithful either regardless of who he is married to. Their are educated Asian men out there, hard working Hispanic men who may not be college educated but believes in the idea of family, hard-work and community, however might be too Catholic for you, maybe even Middle Eastern men would not be so to bad but might be too Islamic for you. Good black men are taken very quickly leaving a huge cesspool of undesirable black men for you to filter through.
I agree with you but she is young. You focus more on physical attributes and ideals when you are younger. After you live a little, you start to realize what is important. You can be miserable with a man with all of those attributes. I would be open to all except Middle Eastern men. I do not feel they respect women. I cannot deal with a man that does not value me. I would actually be interested in meeting a Pacific Islander. I've never met one but culturally they seem spiritual and peaceful people. I've watched a few episodes of Hawaiian Life and I have to say I think they are appealing. I am not sure how they view black women.
Very true Bronx. Don't know too many women in NYC that are TRULY SINGLE meaning they are not sleeping around or sharing a man. Most women have somebody that they are dealing with. So obviously the shortage of men argument is not a valid one.
As a single professional black man I always get a good laugh when I hear black women bring up the issue of a shortage of dateable black men. Most of these think that their degrees and income make them "good women". Reality is all of your accomplishments mean nothing when it comes to matters of the heart.
Black men like myself could care less how educated you are. We want to know whether or not we can see ourselves living with you for the next 30 years.
If you are a black woman that is having a difficult time finding a good man then you should probably take a look inside to see if there is something that is keeping good men from coming your way. Good black men are out here and contrary to belief we love our women. However, we are not going to put up with a bunch of bull**** just to be with someone that looks like us. We will go to where we are appreciated and respected. If that happens to be with a Caucasian or Hispanic women....then so be it.
Let's not play the lack of good black men card. Sick of hearing the same excuses from so many black women. Find someone compatible, handle your business, and stop throwing good black men under the bus.
As a black woman, I feel the same way. I am not going to put up with black men bull crap either. I am not interested in being a baby mamma. I am not interested in being with someone who does not respect or accept me for who I am. I do not want to hear about his bastard children or his inability to get his finances in order. I am tired of black woman sacrificing themselves to raise children alone. I do not befriend hood rats!! You have to admit that the number of black women raising children on their own is disproportionately higher than women of other races. It saddens me that you do not acknowledge the high number of black men that are locked up or unemployed. I did a presentation at a homeless shelter a few years ago. There were nothing but black men in that shelter. I am not talking about boys. I am talking about men. If you are not willing to acknowledge we a have serious problem within our community then there is nothing to talk about. I am sick of black women playing the martyr. If you do not think I am good enough or worth it then neither are you. I applaud the OP for refusing to accept this. I know several women who are truly holding it down. If it were me, I would place the kid in a basket and leave the kid on the guy's front stoop with a note stating " It is hard out here for a black woman".
Last edited by goodlife36; 11-02-2013 at 11:15 AM..
Women tend to marry "up". That's a cross cultural truism that's studied and written about in sociology and anthropology. This is so much the case that there is even a term for women that have a hard time marrying up because they are already at the top. It's called the Brahmin problem.
A disproportionate amout of black men are or have been incarcerated and/or are not well educated (with advance degrees or even a HS diploma). This is a statistical fact. Even within my own family, there are far too many examples of this!
It's not that the women here are saying there aren't any "good black men" it's that it's a question of quantity of "good black men" particularly in proportion to the amount of "good black women" available. And yes, having an education and a good job is very important for women who are also educated and have good jobs.You shouldn't be annoyed with US saying this, you should be annoyed with your brethren for perpetuating it.
Again,
My issue is not with her wanting to date white men. Nor did it have anything to do with her requirements to date up.
I and most other men REALLY DON'T CARE. My issue is her and your justification that...there is a SHORTAGE of eligible black men. THIS IS MISLEADING AND UNTRUE.
It may be the case in a low income "hood" area...but if you go to any major city you will see plenty of educated....successful....intelligent black men walking around.
Society has been so bamboozled into believing the Bull crap that the media & black feminist have been putting out that they really think most black men are in jail or on the streets. That is exactly what "they" want you to believe.
Throw out the statistics and just take a good look around. We are out there.
Black women can date whomever they want.
But, keep the shortage of black men issue out of the conversation.
Last edited by usamathman; 11-02-2013 at 01:50 PM..
As a black woman, I feel the same way. I am not going to put up with black men bull crap either. I am not interested in being a baby mamma. I am not interested in being with someone who does not respect or accept me for who I am. I do not want to hear about his bastard children or his inability to get his finances in order. I am tired of black woman sacrificing themselves to raise children alone. I do not befriend hood rats!! You have to admit that the number of black women raising children on their own is disproportionately higher than women of other races. It saddens me that you do not acknowledge the high number of black men that are locked up or unemployed. I did a presentation at a homeless shelter a few years ago. There were nothing but black men in that shelter. I am not talking about boys. I am talking about men. If you are not willing to acknowledge we a have serious problem within our community then there is nothing to talk about. I am sick of black women playing the martyr. If you do not think I am good enough or worth it then neither are you. I applaud the OP for refusing to accept this. I know several women who are truly holding it down. If it were me, I would place the kid in a basket and leave the kid on the guy's front stoop with a note stating " It is hard out here for a black woman".
And you are right for not wanting to put up with it. But sadly, most black women are putting up with it. They are settling for less than they deserve....and they are Eliminating themselves from being found by the best quality black men in society.
Black women have always played the martyr role. The blame has always been placed on black men.
However....I think the problem could be solved if black women just LEARNED TO CHOOSE THEIR MEN BETTER.
Not every black man you meet is like the one that you laid down with. Not all of us are going to treat you like the one's you dealt with in your past.
As a black man...I get more attention from Caucausian & Hispanic ladies then I ever got from black women. 8 out of 10 women that I draw interest from are non-black women. The black women that generally come my way are usually in mid 30's to mid 40's with great careers and all that good stuff. However...I am not looking for ladies in that age group. I don't want a woman with high mileage and a ton of emotional baggage, which most of these ladies have. So they lose out.
All I ask is that you ladies stop grouping us black men together...and just admit that we are not the problem. YOUR CHOICE IN MEN IS THE PROBLEM.
I refuse to take the blame for black women's bad choices. Date whomever you want, but don't ignore the fact that good available black men are out there.
Last edited by usamathman; 11-02-2013 at 02:00 PM..
As a black man...I get more attention from Caucausian & Hispanic ladies then I ever got from black women. 8 out of 10 women that I draw interest from are non-black women. The black women that generally come my way are usually in mid 30's to mid 40's with great careers and all that good stuff. However...I am not looking for ladies in that age group. I don't want a woman with high mileage and a ton of emotional baggage, which most of these ladies have. So they lose out.
All I ask is that you ladies stop grouping us black men together...and just admit that we are not the problem. YOUR CHOICE IN MEN IS THE PROBLEM.
I refuse to take the blame for black women's bad choices. Date whomever you want, but don't ignore the fact that good available black men are out there.
You really are speaking from both sides of your mouth, you know that?
One minute you say black women who got their *ish together DO speak to you, but since they're in their 30s or 40s, they disgust the crap out of you, so you kick them to the curb while holding your nose up.
Then you say that most of the women that approach you are hispanic and white and you're willing to give THEM a chance, because What?? You never did say, but I guess you're going to tell me that the HISPANIC WOMEN had no emotional baggage or made "bad" choices, so they're pretty good to go, right?
Lastly, you say that "black women can date whomever they want", but not to say there aren't any "good men" out there, because YOU'RE one and that you take offense to it.
BUT.....you just said here:
Quote:
The black women that generally come my way are usually in mid 30's to mid 40's with great careers and all that good stuff. However...I am not looking for ladies in that age group. I don't want a woman with high mileage and a ton of emotional baggage, which most of these ladies have. So they lose out.
You don't want decent good black women either.
You want what the OP and other black women in this thread have said they want: SOMEONE WITH NO MILEAGE ON THEM OR ANY EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE.
My issue is not with her wanting to date white men. Nor did it have anything to do with her requirements to date up.
I and most other men REALLY DON'T CARE. My issue is her and your justification that...there is a SHORTAGE of eligible black men. THIS IS MISLEADING AND UNTRUE.
It may be the case in a low income "hood" area...but if you go to any major city you will see plenty of educated....successful....intelligent black men walking around.
Society has been so bamboozled into believing the Bull crap that the media & black feminist have been putting out that they really think most black men are in jail or on the streets. That is exactly what "they" want you to believe.
Very much agree. I met tons of people in college and then more in professional schools, different races. Also met some jerks and there again it was all races. Some of the men I met were black men and now we are, finally - a black family. So it isn't impossible. Do not mean to belittle the other poster's objections.
This was not a necessary thing - not at all. It just happened. Black women only date "their own" ? What does that mean ?! Why not be open to meeting men of any race with whom you have something in common ? It really is about basic human natures, and if you cut out everyone not in your "race" group, you are probably passing up someone wonderful for you in particular.
Society has been so bamboozled into believing the Bull crap that the media & black feminist have been putting out that they really think most black men are in jail or on the streets. That is exactly what "they" want you to believe.
Throw out the statistics and just take a good look around. We are out there.
Black women can date whomever they want.
But, keep the shortage of black men issue out of the conversation.
No offense, but it seems as if you as suffering from perception bias. There is indeed a shortage of black men in America, which doesn't even begin to address to quality of said men. For whatever reason black women give birth to a higher ratio of females to males - the natural ratio is 105:100 (boys:girls), but the ratio is much closer to 103:100 for African Americans. However, black men have much higher teen death rates and as a result, black women start to outnumber black men at age 25. And that is before you even start to exclude the men that are in prison or will be going to prison.
No offense, but it seems as if you as suffering from perception bias. There is indeed a shortage of black men in America, which doesn't even begin to address to quality of said men. For whatever reason black women give birth to a higher ratio of females to males - the natural ratio is 105:100 (boys:girls), but the ratio is much closer to 103:100 for African Americans. However, black men have much higher teen death rates and as a result, black women start to outnumber black men at age 25. And that is before you even start to exclude the men that are in prison or will be going to prison.
"Black men" do not have higher teen death rates.
Black men of certain social classes have higher teen death rates.
Therefore, if you are looking for a black man of that social class, you might be out of luck - granted.
The question revolving around the number of black men in higher social classes is another matter.
It has been stated here several times that there is no black upper class. This is entirely false.
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