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I have no qualms about him dating lighter skinned Puerto Ricans. But yes he's an example of self hatred you find among darker skinned men who prefer lighter skinned women, also given the history that blacks have been taught that marrying someone lighter is better. (Asians or whites have nothing to do with this).
It is self hatred. I did not say that everyone who dates someone lighter has it but yea it still does exist in 2015.
Are you inside his mind to know how he feels?
As noted, there are whites and Asians who prefer to date people darker than them, and I notice you don't call this self hatred or even want to acknowledge this.
But whatever the bottom line is that man can date whoever he wants, as can anybody.
Come on... What she has expressed is the truth about the overall issues surrounding darker shades of black women in the dating world. I have a cousin who is very dark and quite gorgeous. She has natural long hair, almond shaped eyes, a size 2 figure and absolutely radiant clear skin. She has a beautiful personality, which further radiates her beauty. My lighter cousins that are around her age are simply not as pretty in the face, and do not have the same idolized figure, (they also wear weaves), but yet many black males routinely seek them out for long term relationships. While my beautiful dark cousin who is in college actually expressed to me that she was having issues dating black men at her school.I really couldn't believe this because one would think that she would be the most sought after girl on campus given her looks and overall personality.
I had to give her some real advice. I told her to stop associating with the black guys on her campus who expressed any color issues. I also told her to expand her dating pool and stop associating with people who sought to limit her options, while exploring all of their options. Lastly, I recommended that she take advantage of studying abroad, so that she could start socializing and really learning about different types of people outside of the U.S. She chose to study abroad in Accra, Ghana and in Paris, France.
Currently, my cousin has a great boyfriend (he is not black), whom I absolutely adore. I really can't say enough good things about him; he's a catch. While visiting her in Paris, I noticed that she was always getting approached by all different types of men, who were very much interested in dating her. Her study abroad experience will be coming to an end soon, and she is not looking forward to returning to her university in the States, but she has to, to complete her degree. After she completes her degree, I know that she plans to return to Paris to complete her masters.
My lighter cousins are simply not in her league. I was so happy when my cousin, who thinks that she is the greatest thing since apple pie visited her in Paris and received not nearly the same level of attention. Let's just say that she couldn't wait to return back to the states (LOL). I think it was a wakeup call for her, because she has become quite spoiled, due to the colorism hierarchy that is very much in place and practiced by many Black American males.
I still think this is somewhat BS. Obviously there are a lot of dark skinned people, so enough of them find each other attractive to make more dark skinned people! With that said, yes I am sure some people are biased against them. But when it comes to sex people have their preferences on height, weight, income, or a multitude of other things.
Someone has something wrong with them if they are upset that someone seemingly likes "light" skinned people. Because if they were up on their game, they wouldn't care who likes light skinned people as they would be getting laid themselves.
i dated a white girl once that would always make snide generalizations about white men, from their looks to personality. She only dated men of color..not sure if thats self hate or just the fact she doesnt like men of her own race
As noted, there are whites and Asians who prefer to date people darker than them, and I notice you don't call this self hatred or even want to acknowledge this.
But whatever the bottom line is that man can date whoever he wants, as can anybody.
Yes, NYWRITERDUDE. I was inside his mind.
And this person isn't a quiet person who hides his inner thoughts. He is very outspoken.
He will screw black women but will not marry one or get into a serious relationship with one. I know his because of his actions. So yes. That is a form of SELF HATRED in my book.
I'm talkin about self hatred among black/afrodescent people not whites or Asians. Yes there are blacks who still have a pathology like this in 2015
And no I'm not a delusional person who thinks just because someone dark dates someone light they have self hatred issues if that's what your thinking. He openly and candidly expressed his sentiments.
And this person isn't a quiet person who hides his inner thoughts. He is very outspoken.
He will screw black women but will not marry one or get into a serious relationship with one. I know his because of his actions. So yes. That is a form of SELF HATRED in my book.
I'm talkin about self hatred among black/afrodescent people not whites or Asians. Yes there are blacks who still have a pathology like this in 2015
And no I'm not a delusional person who thinks just because someone dark dates someone light they have self hatred issues if that's what your thinking. He openly and candidly expressed his sentiments.
I have a black friend like this. Hes a successful guy who owns a number of businesses. Except he ignores black women all together. He calls them monkeys, talks **** about their hair..and its like dude..they look like you lol. Id call that self hate. If a full black girl approaches him in a club he will outright act as if she isnt there and walk away
I still think this is somewhat BS. Obviously there are a lot of dark skinned people, so enough of them find each other attractive to make more dark skinned people! With that said, yes I am sure some people are biased against them. But when it comes to sex people have their preferences on height, weight, income, or a multitude of other things.
Someone has something wrong with them if they are upset that someone seemingly likes "light" skinned people. Because if they were up on their game, they wouldn't care who likes light skinned people as they would be getting laid themselves.
You should take it upon yourself to research and read up on colorism within black American culture. It's very real and has a long history within the U.S. It's not at all BS. There are documentaries, books, and scholarly articles that explain this at length. Light skin and long hair is *still* the ideal and coveted look for African American women within the community. And yes many, but certainly not all, black men will chase this look as that is the black version of a trophy wife.
You should take it upon yourself to research and read up on colorism within black American culture. It's very real and has a long history within the U.S. It's not at all BS. There are documentaries, books, and scholarly articles that explain this at length. Light skin and long hair is *still* the ideal and coveted look for African American women within the community. And yes many, but certainly not all, black men will chase this look as that is the black version of a trophy wife.
Absolutely. The house vs. field slave situation is still alive and well.
As noted, there are whites and Asians who prefer to date people darker than them, and I notice you don't call this self hatred or even want to acknowledge this.
But whatever the bottom line is that man can date whoever he wants, as can anybody.
You won't find Asian or white men online berating the women of their own race. You will however find this amongst many black American males. This is why people often attribute black American males as having self hatred issues. Additionally, I don't think many black American males (amongst each other) will deny that they have a preference for light/biracial, Hispanic or white women. The same males will go on and on about how they should have a right to their preferences, but rarely do they respect women who may not have a preference in black males.
One of my close friends is Latina. She primarily dates Puerto Rican men (because as a fellow Puerto Rican, she prefers the men in her culture over other cultures). Obviously, Puerto Ricans come in many different colors. She has fair skin like Jennifer Lopez and has dated Puerto Rican men of every hue. My friend however has had a lot of issues w/ black American guys getting upset that she wasn't interested in dating them. She's been called racist, and all other names, for simply having a preference for the men in her own culture/Ethnic group.
I have read similar accounts from biracial or Asian women who will complain that a number of black males will call them racist, if they are not interested in dating a black guy.
Quote:
A fashionista suspected of carrying out a string of attacks on Asian women in Manhattan in New York City was found hanging in the elevator shaft of a building after neighbors noticed the smell. Tyrell Shaw, 25, was found dead in a Madison Avenue building on the Upper East Side on Monday afternoon, according to police sources.
On his blog, where he posted photos of bow-ties he designed and put up a number of selfies with celebrities, Shaw seemed to provide information about the assaults and foreshadow his death.
Shaw was suspected of carrying out at least four attacks on Asian women where he would start up a conversation with them and then walk away before coming back and getting physical.
One of the victims said Shaw complained he couldn't get phone numbers and said 'All Asian girls doesn't talk to me', before he hit her in the face.
I still think this is somewhat BS. Obviously there are a lot of dark skinned people, so enough of them find each other attractive to make more dark skinned people! With that said, yes I am sure some people are biased against them. But when it comes to sex people have their preferences on height, weight, income, or a multitude of other things.
Someone has something wrong with them if they are upset that someone seemingly likes "light" skinned people. Because if they were up on their game, they wouldn't care who likes light skinned people as they would be getting laid themselves.
I think you're being naive to assume that skin color holds no weight or significance in the dating patterns of some Black men. Like I said before, this has nothing to do with ME, this is about the oh so common ignorant preferences that some Black men have. I cannot think of any other group of men who berate and blatantly discriminate against their own kind of women with the same frequency as Black men. If you look at the vast majority of Black couples, the woman is lighter than the man (my parents being one), or the same complexion. You don't see Black couples where the man is lighter than the woman as often for a reason. I'm sorry, but I'm gonna assume that you're not Black, so you're not privy to the clear history and legacy of colorism in Black culture and how deeply engrained it is still to this day. Look, growing up as a dark skinned Black women, you have to have tough skin. I have to believe I'm awesome and beautiful, because it's not like I'm gonna hear others tell me that with as much frequency as my lighter skinned or non-Black counterparts. Does that mean that I'm moping at home beating myself up thinking that no one will ever love me or be with me because I'm a dark skinned Black woman? Hell no! I know damn well I can have a man who honors and respects me for WHO I AM. But I'd be stupid and living in a fantasy to try to deny or ignore that in some circles, some Black men would not even give me the time of day because they're sipping the Koolaid of White supremacy that places a Eurocentric image of femininity as the ideal woman.
And a lot of white men won't date their women unless they're stick thin.
Every race has issues. Let the disappointment about black men go. It will ruin your spirit and keep you from finding real happiness.
Like I said before, I'm NOT loosing sleep over it or bitter, I'm just stating the obvious truth that everyone for whatever reason (I guess to be PC) wants to ignore.
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