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I'm a guy in his mid-30s. I do have friends. I have a best friend who is solid, a few other good ones, female friends too, but as I've reached my mid-30s, I've lost a lot of friends and my social life to marriage, kids, and people flaking on me more or less. I would like to expand my social life. In particular, it'd be nice to have a couple more GOOD, LOYAL male friends, not flakes and friends for the moment.
So, how does a guy in his 30s make friends with other guys in their 30s. This seems to me almost a taboo thing. You don't just ask another guy to hang. Women do this all the time and it's fine.
And it seems mostly that if some guys aren't looking for girls, they have nothing to do or talk about. I'm not looking for those types really.
I guess my first question is "Are there any men who are looking for more male friends?"
Looking back at my friendships, I would say most came about from sports and recreation, very few thru work. A few were husbands or boyfriends of friends of my various girlfriends. But the best and longest are from play! I participate in a few sports that while not "extreme", my safety does depend on having someone solid with me. Sharing danger seems to bond a friendship and almost every good adventure ends with us sharing a few beers and a few laughs. But I'm in my 60s, not sure how it works in your 30's.
I would say a good way to find friends is join a group or activity where you can meet like minded individuals. If you have a girlfriend or wife then you will probably become friends with her friends significant others. It can also happen randomly too. My cousin in his thirties became close friends with a neighbor who lived across the street.
You are very lucky to have a loyal best friend and a few other good ones, I think when you get older it is definitely more about quality than quantity when it comes to having true good friends.
Having said that just act really friendly when you are participating in an activity that you enjoy- sports or hobbies, - it might sound cliche but volunteering somewhere where you are really giving of yourself is a great way to run into other quality folks- guys included.
I randomly thought about this the other day when i was watching a movie on tv.
if two male meet each other for the first time and want to stay in contact do they ask for each other's phone numbers? do they say 'let me put your number in my phone?' what do they do? LOL.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jobaba
So, how does a guy in his 30s make friends with other guys in their 30s. This seems to me almost a taboo thing. You don't just ask another guy to hang. Women do this all the time and it's fine.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doll Eyes
I randomly thought about this the other day when i was watching a movie on tv.
if two male meet each other for the first time and want to stay in contact do they ask for each other's phone numbers? do they say 'let me put your number in my phone?' what do they do? LOL.
It's not taboo where I'm from, at least depending on the circumstances of how you meet. If you have a common interest, like you like to play basketball, just say something like, 'hey we should shoot a few hoops sometime.'
Yes, to me that's just social networking. Everyone does it in their professional and personal life.
This might sound gay but I have a good male friend I met through a dating site. Yes, people do meet just friends on there. Our mutual lack of success led to us communicating on the dating site's chat feature, and we've been buds ever since. There are also sites dedicated to finding activity partners or even just peeps for social outings, those are good too.
I randomly thought about this the other day when i was watching a movie on tv.
if two male meet each other for the first time and want to stay in contact do they ask for each other's phone numbers? do they say 'let me put your number in my phone?' what do they do? LOL.
That's not unusual at all where I come from. Same goes for 2 male friends having dinner / lunch together or going to the pub for a chat.
I don't think it's awkward, I'm in the same boat. However, I have a kid of my own, so it's a little different or easier for myself.
I was just about to make a similar post. Not about 'how to get more guy-friends', but moving on from the previous friendships that all went to marriage and having kids. These friends don't include me on anything anymore, so it's time for me to move on as well. I am single and may stay single for a long time, but that doesn't me I can't enjoy myself, right?
To answer your post, I believe just going out and doing things that YOU enjoy doing. I'm going to make it a goal for this weekend to do just that. Whatever that may be.
I don't think it's awkward, I'm in the same boat. However, I have a kid of my own, so it's a little different or easier for myself.
I was just about to make a similar post. Not about 'how to get more guy-friends', but moving on from the previous friendships that all went to marriage and having kids. These friends don't include me on anything anymore, so it's time for me to move on as well. I am single and may stay single for a long time, but that doesn't me I can't enjoy myself, right?
To answer your post, I believe just going out and doing things that YOU enjoy doing. I'm going to make it a goal for this weekend to do just that. Whatever that may be.
Yea, this is kind of the way it was for me.
I find it sad that people don't try and hang on to their friends. It takes so little effort to respond to texts or hang out once a month.
I also realize at my age a lot of people have an established social network. But there must be other men in their 30s looking for buds.
It's just kind of awkward to get the ball rolling, I guess.
I'm in the same boat. It's actually easier for me to get a date than it is to make a new male friend/acquaintance, kinda pathetic.
OP, too bad you don't live in the same city as me or I would want to hang out since you seem like a good person, very thoughtful. Or did that seem too gay to say, j/k. Anyway, my close male friends have a lot more friends than me and they've met them through church, work, and sports leagues.
I hear you, a lot of people are nice at least on the surface, but it's hard to find someone that you click with and vice versa, it's just like dating.
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