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Facebook is not the place to go to find how someone is REALLY doing!
I'm a swim parent - do you imagine that I post photos or video of the races where my kid lost BIG TIME? Nope - cause that's not how FB works - plus he would kill me.
Every now and then you will find a truthful nugget on facebook - where someone might let their guard down - but it's generally used to display the good times only. Oh, and to share silly cartoons and, of course, your political viewpoint!
No one likes a chronic FB whiner - there are those too, though.
Bottom line - you are NOT seeing the real lives of these high school and college acquaintences.
the only thing that depresses me,at times on FB is the number of people I know or that my friends know who are getting diagnosed with cancer and or dying.
This is yet another reason I have never been on FB and never will.
Do you really believe people are honest on FB? Of course not, it's the most narcissistic nonsense ever devised. Once in awhile I get on FB from a friend's account to see what my neurotic neighbors are writing. I know for a fact most are morbidly depressed, miserably unhappy, hellishly married people. Yet their FB's do nothing but brag endlessly about how perfect their lives are. '
I can't believe anyone would be suckered into believing the crap people post on their FB's.
Do you really think they are going to write the truth? Did you ever see the TRUTH on someone's Facebook, something like:
"I hate my fat, frumpy, ugly wife. I'm impotent and not even Viagra helps me get it up. If it would only work, I could cheat on her. My two kids are meth addicted losers and I wish they'd never been born. I was fired last week and am $500,000 in debt. My mother is a witch, I wish she was dead and my life is in shambles."
Don't hold your breath on reading the truth on Facebook.
I'm not looking for FB friends to reveal the truth and nothing but the truth on FB. It isn't a diary and those who treat it as such will be deleted by me with the quickness.
I don't wanna hear whining,bitching and moaning. I want people to be pleasant and post pleasant and uplifting things.
I suppose in a way it could be. You realize after sifting through "friends of friends" lists out of boredom that there are lots of people out there that you couldn't possibly have the time or energy to keep up with, even though they might be great people and worth knowing. It can make your world feel a little small and limited.
It can bother me sometimes. I have a few friends who are ALWAYS doing something and boast in about how great their life is. Some of them bust their behind to get where they are at, some of them simply get lucky, regardless I can't help but feel lame abut my life compared to some of my friends who are constantly traveling, invited to exclusive interesting parties, simply doing awesome worth while things in life. I realize though some people do it to feel better about themselves and some are simly just that damn annoying with Facebook.
I personally don't constantly put pictures up because the moments I create or the most important to me, plus I have pictures of my memories on me so its all that really matter.
I am less bothered by others' successes though..I have classmates who are high-achieving doctors, lawyers, UN workers, etc. But I am hopeful that I will have a rewarding career..even though it is taking much more time and money (aka debt ) than I anticipated.
What bothers me is that some people seem to have perfect lives..they are even more attractive than they were in high school, have an equally attractive spouse and kids, have a slew of close friends they are always posting pictures with and going to events with, periodically go on desirable vacations, volunteer, have rewarding careers, while they are running marathons, playing the lead in community theatre, and rubbing elbows with politicians on the side. While this sounds hyperbolic I am actually describing a real person on my friends list.
What makes it more annoying is that they seem completely authentic and genuine about it all, not pretentious or "bragging" in the slightest. Like it's not even a facade.
Ugh! We graduated 8.5 years ago and my claim to fame is that I moved to nyc..even though I have unstable housing, work, and rising debt here. No relationships, no kids, I've gotten weight..
I am happy for these people. I would never wish them less success or increased obstacles. I just wish I didn't compare myself to them.
I recently started an account on Facebook for various reasons. I now find myself "stalking" others from my high school class (and to a much lesser extent, my college class) to see what they are doing. I don't "friend" them, because these are people that I don't know very well. I'm just curious. These are people I haven't thought about in years! I will probably never "friend" them, because I was very shy in high school and they won't even know who I am!
What depresses me is how well everyone is doing! Not that I mind that, I'm happy for them, but everything is daisies and kittens and sunshine! They love their jobs, and they have many wonderful children!
Now I am aware that this may just be a front for what is really going on in their lives. Obviously, if they are having marital problems or their children are troublemakers they won't admit that.
But they are always going on about how happy they are! They make lots of money! Their families are wonderful!
They are doctors or lawyers or run successful businesses!
Some people from my high school class don't have Facebook pages. I wonder why? Are they not successful enough?
It makes me feel like such a failure, both professionally and personally.
A good thing is that reading these Facebook pages has made me make profound changes in my life.
I am happily married (I just got married last year for the first time!) I have a wonderful step-daughter and mother-in-law. I don't know if I would have taken the plunge if it wasn't for Facebook. My husband and I lived together for years, but I finally wanted that "commitment." After all, we plan to stay together forever.
I am starting a business, but because of health problems it's taking a lot of time. I also have very little money, due to very stupid decisions that I have made in the past.
I hope to make my business into a very successful one, but it will take a year or two. I am finally going to use my college degree doing something that I love!
Do you ever feel like you've failed because of what you read on Facebook?
I take FB with a grain of salt. I started using it because we moved away from our home and it was a great way to stay in touch with friends. Or so I thought.
Once I started seeing the posts of these people - whose reality I knew was very different, it became frustrating, irritating, annoying, but also humorous.
I regard anyone who is too perfect on FB with a huge dose of skepticism. You may have to block those that really get to you - they may require being taken in small doses.
What bother me is seeing people my age traveling. I have friends doing semester in the Caribbean and even a few on sabbatical year long world travel vacations (in their early 20s). I can't afford any of that stuff, it makes me feel like I'm missing out on life/youth.
Sometimes I feel that way but finally decided to do something about it and went back to school for nursing, which is what I've always wanted to do. I'm doing having children (I have seven). It's time to think about my next step in life.
I received a random email recently from a high school friend (we're not close and never were but we are friends). She said she went to the reunion recently (I didn't because I wasn't friends with many of those people). She just wanted to tell me I have more than all of those people (family-wise) and look better than all of them. That was an awesome thing to hear. Made me almost wish I had gone (but not quite).
Always consider that people only put the good things on FB, why post about something bad like a cheating spouse, kids getting into drugs, bank foreclosing on your home, getting laid off from that fortune 500 job, losing everything their parents paid for?
People are going to use every opportunity to tell the world how great their lives are, I can't blame them really. Don't let it bother you though. You'll have your moments soon.
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