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You mean when men want to attack me, you mean when
men want to rape me? When men stalk me?
(I'm an attractive, blued blond, btw)
Yup, I'm fine now...can handle it.
Now, I must say ...I had a tuff time calming my nerves holding
a gun ...walking around my property ...only to find a bunch of raccoons
outside my bedroom window!!!
That was a tuffy at 2 am! Geeze!
But, I was ready to shoot!
Those raccoons should thank their lucky stars, no doubt! That's good, I'm glad you're able to do so. But yeah the nerves are a sign that we experience what we experience and then the work that you've put into it takes over - even when your physical response to the stimulus is still affecting you. Thanks and I'll call before I come over next time, okay?
I REALLY DON'T KNOW if this belongs on here but here it goes:
Over the past two years, I've been battling some pretty severe depression as I lost my grandfather, whom was like a father to me, and my mother. Those were the only two people I felt close to in my family. Everyone else was a distant relative to me. After that, i started drinking HEAVY and quit my job. (i inherited a large sum of money to tie me over for a few years. I needed to leave that job because I felt like it was a dead end job) But since their deaths, I felt very ashamed, very lonely, felt like a loser, wasn't worthy of living. Those were dark times.
I know this isn't a religious thread, but I found God and that's when things turned around. I havent drank a sip of alcohol since Feb. 23rd. This is huge since I use to drink about a half a liter of alcohol daily. I'm also starting to hang out with old friends, or at least communicating through them. I am also volunteering to gain experience and to keep my mind busy. I haven't dated anyone yet but there's no one that I'm interested in.
Even though I don't have my confidence up high like it should be, I'm working on four essential areas of my life:
1) To have a core group of friends. I'm working on that by talking to my old frirends and meeting their friends/cliques.
2) To have a job in place. I volunteer at the franchise tax board and I'm sending out resumes/networking
3) To get closer to God. I volunteer at the church and I go to church once a week. I'm starting to read the bible as well.
4) To eventually get a girlfriend, hopefully wife her, and start a family. Even though I'm not too old, (30) I do hear the clock ticking in my head. But that will come in due time.
So I guess my message to people who are not feeling good about myself is this. If I can feel better about myself, even with my trials and tribulations, then so can anyone else. It takes alot of faith and just as much action. I hope I helped at least ONE PERSON with my "speech."
So where does personal responsibility come into play?
I would recommend the book "Free Will" and "Waking up" by Sam Harris. He goes at length into this concept of Free Will and how and why personal responsibility does still come into play - even under the concept of Free will he puts forward. If reading books is not your thing - then his interviews with Joe Rogan - of which I think there are three - are available on you tube and he goes into it there at great length too.
I think they are in the Joe Rogan episodes 543 410 and 192. Probably best in that order as I think 192 is probably less relevant to what you are asking here.
Much is made of the concept of us still needing our legal and social processes to be pretty much as they are now - but with a focus shift on why we implement them this way. It seems the actual shift that would occur under such a concept would not actually be large at all.
Quote:
Originally Posted by KathrynAragon
It's not an illusion.
Ah the "You are just wrong so there" approach. But the illusion still remains where I said it - and not just because of my opinion - but because of the evidence I offered for it.
Try reading the study published in "Current Biology". The authors include Alison Preston, associate professor in the Department of Psychology and the Center for Learning and Memory; and Bradley Love, a professor at University College London.
The simple fact coming out of all this - regardless of your unwarranted blanket dismissal of it - is that we do not have as much control over our decisions and emotions as you might think. I remain on the fence as to how much control we have - if any - and remain to be convinced. But I am convinced enough to know that declarations that you have full control over what you feel and when - are just nonsense.
As I said a few times - it is worth distinguishing between control over having the emotions - and control over what to do with them when you have them.
push·o·ver
ˈpo͝oSHˌōvər/Submit
nouninformal
a person who is easy to overcome or influence.
rude
adjective
discourteous or impolite, especially in a deliberate way:
a rude reply.
Its easy to have things simply roll off of you when youre a small child in, say, elementary school but as you get older this isnt the case (unless you actually LIKE having people laugh at you). Sticks and stones will break bones and words DO hurt. Some people will actually make it a point to continually mock or humiliate you until you actually do begin to feel bad about yourself.
I would recommend the book "Free Will" and "Waking up" by Sam Harris. He goes at length into this concept of Free Will and how and why personal responsibility does still come into play - even under the concept of Free will he puts forward. If reading books is not your thing - then his interviews with Joe Rogan - of which I think there are three - are available on you tube and he goes into it there at great length too.
I think they are in the Joe Rogan episodes 543 410 and 192. Probably best in that order as I think 192 is probably less relevant to what you are asking here.
Much is made of the concept of us still needing our legal and social processes to be pretty much as they are now - but with a focus shift on why we implement them this way. It seems the actual shift that would occur under such a concept would not actually be large at all.
Ah the "You are just wrong so there" approach. But the illusion still remains where I said it - and not just because of my opinion - but because of the evidence I offered for it.
Try reading the study published in "Current Biology". The authors include Alison Preston, associate professor in the Department of Psychology and the Center for Learning and Memory; and Bradley Love, a professor at University College London.
The simple fact coming out of all this - regardless of your unwarranted blanket dismissal of it - is that we do not have as much control over our decisions and emotions as you might think. I remain on the fence as to how much control we have - if any - and remain to be convinced. But I am convinced enough to know that declarations that you have full control over what you feel and when - are just nonsense.
As I said a few times - it is worth distinguishing between control over having the emotions - and control over what to do with them when you have them.
This is a theory - no one has proven scientifically that we cannot and do not control our decisions. Of course we are hardwired in many ways, but I'm sorry - I don't believe in the theology of predestination and I don't believe that we do not to a large extent make our own decisions. Like the theological concept of predestination, a case can be made for both positions by cherry picking information, but also like predestination vs free will, I think our day to day decisions are a combination of both elements and I think we just don't know yet how the two work together - theologically or philosophically.
Now to the bolded parts of your post. I really dislike it when people restate something they THINK I said, but change the words and meaning subtly - then we begin arguing over something I never said in the first place. I never once said, or implied that we have full control over what we feel and when - and I never said this because I don't believe it. In fact, I've taken great pains to clarify that I do not feel that way. I also didn't give a blanket dismissal of the concept of being hardwired emotionally - in fact, I've stated repeatedly that we can NOT control some of the first rush of emotions in some situations.
As for my statement "It's not an illusion" which you characterized flippantly as the "You are just wrong so there" approach - we are in disagreement (only on some points, I might add) on this topic, though we also agree on some finer points. You have made cut and dried statements along the lines of "Your beliefs are illusions." I said "They're not illusions." What's the difference? Seems to me that if my beliefs are at odds with yours and we both state what we believe, then your approach is just as "You are just wrong so there" as mine.
I will not continue to debate with anyone who continually misstates or twists what I say, or who resorts to personal insults and sarcasm, so if you want to continue discussing or debating this with me, don't do either of those things and we can carry on. Otherwise, I'm not playing.
As for your book suggestion - yes, I am a reader, but since I'm currently reading one book and just ordered two more yesterday, and since I'm preparing for a class I'm teaching in the spring as well, I'm sort of "booked" at the moment. But thanks for the suggestion! I have read quite a bit on the topic of free will and that sort of thing though in the past, so we'll see. I'd much rather read than watch a lecture or speech on YouTube though.
rude
adjective
discourteous or impolite, especially in a deliberate way:
a rude reply.
Its easy to have things simply roll off of you when youre a small child in, say, elementary school but as you get older this isnt the case (unless you actually LIKE having people laugh at you). Sticks and stones will break bones and words DO hurt. Some people will actually make it a point to continually mock or humiliate you until you actually do begin to feel bad about yourself.
I am not talking about a flippant attitude. I'm not talking about thwarting healthy emotions or denying our feelings. I am also not discussing this from the position of someone who hasn't suffered greatly at the hands of others, because I definitely have. And respectfully, I know all about the sort of people who make it a point to continually mock or humiliate you until you are emotionally devastated - I've lived with them. I don't anymore though. I have gained control over the aspects of my personality that previously left me vulnerable to that sort of abuse. If I can do it, so can others.
I REALLY DON'T KNOW if this belongs on here but here it goes:
Over the past two years, I've been battling some pretty severe depression as I lost my grandfather, whom was like a father to me, and my mother.
So I guess my message to people who are not feeling good about myself is this.
If I can feel better about myself, even with my trials and tribulations, then so can anyone else.
It takes alot of faith and just as much action.
I hope I helped at least ONE PERSON with my "speech."
I love testimonials.
There will be some readers drawn here wanting strength bec of their problems.
I know at least one person will be 'heartened'....that must be a word.
Thank you, pdizo.
Not only do words hurt...they can linger and do their damage throughout
an entire lifetime.
So, what is a solution after someone calls us, "stupid, lazy, a user, unattractive...."
when we are none of those?
This is a thread of solutions and hope, btw.
And this is a perfect example we can use here of either being devastated
for weeks
overhearing something OR finding a solution.
I would say after each thing we hear something that is not true...you say aloud
or within your thoughts the exact opposite.
Don't let those false words get into your mind and make a home in your subconscious mind...becoming a belief.
"I wish you'd never been born... You're such a loser...You're never going to
amount to anything just like your father..."
Reprogram yourself..."I have endless potential...I offer so much to everyone I meet...
My life is full of giving to others and I am loved..."
We can say all sorts of things to cancel out the false statements said to us.
"You will never..."? Counter: "Oh yes I will..."
"You are so..." Counter: "Actually, I am a wonderful person..."
"You'll never advance in this place..." Counter: "Wait and see!"
You can practice these counters silently to yourself...or out loud.
Don't ever let a negative, untrue statement linger in your mind.
This is a tool to success.
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You mean when men want to attack me, you mean when
