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So even when someone is trying to stab you in the back or snow you with superficial manners.......it's okay as long as they call you ma'am?
You just don't get it. It isn't superficial. Getting your nose out of joint about it IS superficial.
Children in the south are taught to address grownups by sir or ma'am. It is second nature to them. All their friends use the same terms. Their teachers and coaches reinforce the use of the terms in school. These kids aren't judging anybody. They are using the manners they are expected to display.
And, for the record, adults don't use sir or ma'am, unless they are addressing a stranger. Once they have been introduced, they use names, just like the rest of the country.
You just don't get it. It isn't superficial. Getting your nose out of joint about it IS superficial.
Children in the south are taught to address grownups by sir or ma'am. It is second nature to them. All their friends use the same terms. Their teachers and coaches reinforce the use of the terms in school. These kids aren't judging anybody. They are using the manners they are expected to display.
And, for the record, adults don't use sir or ma'am, unless they are addressing a stranger. Once they have been introduced, they use names, just like the rest of the country.
I was raised in the north....lived decades in the south...would move back down if I had the chance...but this isn't a reason. As someone said earlier....it's a trait of passive-aggressive behavior in many cases. (Not always but I'd rather someone addresses me honestly so I don't have to guess.)
It does not matter that a person was trained to use the term as a child...it means nothing about if the person is actually polite and respectful. It's a great way for a smart but nasty kid to get away with murder...because people really are snowed by a superficial term.
So even when someone is trying to stab you in the back or snow you with superficial manners.......it's okay as long as they call you ma'am?
Hmm. I don't see the correlation here.
If you think "Ma'am" is a slap in the face, that could be taken with any pet name or term of endearment. "F off, baby" "F you, dear" etc. Are you going to ban the words baby and dear because some people use them after telling you off?
Ma'am or Sir, in itself, is not a derogatory or disrespectful term to use in general. Neither is 'baby' or 'dear'. It doesn't mean that the speaker thinks you are old or anything else. Its a sign of respect. Better than referring to you as "that woman over there."
I pay more attention to the tone of voice someone uses with me, and their actual message, than any terms of endearment. I still notice them though.
As a child, it was pretty much drilled into me that I should respect my elders. It seems as if everytime I try to be polite and formal to strangers by addressing them as Sir, Ma'am, Mister "Jason", or Miss, they prefer not to be addressed that way, but instead their first name. It becomes a habit that's hard to break for me.
If something like this was supposed to sound, polite, formal and professional, why do people prefer not to be addressed that way?
I do not like "Sir" "Maam" "Mr." "Mrs."
I find it to be sneaky and dishonest.
It is apparent in this thread that some people who grew up saying sir and ma'am consider their habits to be superior and more mannerly than the habits of those who grew up in other regions. They cannot concede that this issue is simply one of geographical and dialect differences.
I say it is like hand gestures and different meanings. To me, a "thumbs up" gesture means "way to go" or "I like that" or general encouragement. In some cultures, it is considered very rude and offensive. It would be ridiculous of me to continue giving thumbs up in a part of the world where it is offensive. It would be ridiculous of me to criticize people as being petty for not interpreting my gesture as the encouragement I intended. It would be ridiculous of me to act superior to people who prefer that I not use the thumbs up gesture. And it would be ridiculous for me to insist that everyone should interpret thumbs up the same way that I do.
Whether you like it or not, whether you agree or not, whether you can grasp it or not, there are many places where "ma'am" does NOT convey respect to most women, as in those places, it is a term only used for elderly or sarcasm.
In closing, I'm going to give myself a big thumbs up. Interpret it as you wish.
Which proves that you've entirely missed the point.
It's important to ascribe intent. A person who uses Ma'am or Sir in conversation is highly likely to be doing so in a sincere and respectful manner. I don't know. Maybe you were raised by wolves. Maybe nobody respects each other in your part of the world.
But if you're going to trot out the lazy argument of cultural relativism, then it's important to realize that -- regardless of where you travel in the world, the desire to show respect for others is a sign of politeness, regardless of the gestures and phraseology one uses.
I mean, in Japan, they bow to one another. If a Japanese visitor bowed to you, would you take offense at that? Of course not, because they are showing respect in the way their culture expects. And you would be arrogant to take offense because it didn't fulfill your rarefied beliefs in what's the proper way to show respect and deference to others.
Same thing here.
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I don't see the correlation here. 
Not Me:
