Why do people get annoyed when you call them Sir or Ma'am (gossip, college)
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Okay, Okay!!! I should have not used the term "social status" when I made my comment concerning support personnel. FYI, they would tell you that I treat them better than most other people in the office and I do NOT use it condescendingly! I treat them with the utmost respect and try to help them whenever possible which they would attest. And also, yes, I HAVE cleaned toilets for a living when working my way through college and I still clean toilets in my own house!
I do NOT not make apologies for saying "yes ma'am" and "no sir" . I have yet had someone claim they were offended.
I have, but they still did. Clear?
I quit going there.
Your choice. I think that would be a stupid reason to deprive myself of a restaurant whose food I enjoy, especially when chances are I wouldn't keep getting the same server, but that's just me.
What a luxury, to be so offended over someone trying to show you respect. Have you visited Nepal lately?
Okay, Okay!!! I should have not used the term "social status" when I made my comment concerning support personnel. FYI, they would tell you that I treat them better than most other people in the office and I do NOT use it condescendingly! I treat them with the utmost respect and try to help them whenever possible which they would attest. And also, yes, I HAVE cleaned toilets for a living when working my way through college and I still clean toilets in my own house!
I do NOT not make apologies for saying "yes , ma'am" and "no sir" . I have yet had someone claim they were offended.
I think people are misconstruing your point. Of course a server is not beneath you in terms of humanity, but he or she is definitely below you in status in the business transaction of bringing you food that you are paying for.
I have no qualms in saying I am below status to my clients in our transactions. If I want their money, I have to give them what they are asking for. They have the money. They have the power to choose to hire someone else. As an independent contractor, I may choose my clients, and no vendor of any kind, including servers, should have to put up with incivility. But once I have them, if I want to keep them, I have to serve them. There is such a thing as unspoken rank in conducting business.
I don't get annoyed, but it isn't normative in the places that I have lived - the North East, the middle Atlantic, California, New England and the northern mid west.
Ma'am also confers a degree of age over, say "miss". Some women are uncomfortable with that.
Sounds like a personal problem of theirs. I can say I am damn glad when someone acknowledges that I am older than they are by calling me "ma'am." Yes, I am older. Yes, I am wiser. Yes, I do know more about life and the way the world works than you do. Yes, I may just be your boss someday. Glad to see you understand that, see the value in it, and respect it.
I think it's a hang-up better off buried away. Leave those polite people alone. Just cuz you think it's funny to say "Don't call me sir! I work for a living!" it makes you sound like a buffoon. Unless you're really old and then you're just precious.
ALTHOUGH I used to tell the younger troops, "every time you call me ma'am, another gray hair pops out on my head"
Your choice. I think that would be a stupid reason to deprive myself of a restaurant whose food I enjoy, especially when chances are I wouldn't keep getting the same server, but that's just me.
What a luxury, to be so offended over someone trying to show you respect. Have you visited Nepal lately?
I love that last line, " what a luxury" to be offended by a sign of respect. My kids have spent the past 12 years of their lives in the South. They adapted to the social norms, and quickly began using sir and ma'am. I would hate to think that people will scorn them as they move elsewhere after college graduation. They would mean it sincerely when they said it.
I'm guilty! lol I am offended when referred to as ma'am.
I live in the south, but I take it as someone calling me old. I am 31 and for some odd reason, women usually think I'm a few years older than I am whereas men oftentimes think I am much younger... don't get it.
I began being referred to as ma'am around 26 yrs old. I don't know the people personally to know why they refer to me as such.. do they think I am old or is it just their way of talking?
I can understand a kid (about 15 and younger), but most of these people are in their 20's, 30's and many old enough to be my mother/dad.
Your choice. I think that would be a stupid reason to deprive myself of a restaurant whose food I enjoy, especially when chances are I wouldn't keep getting the same server, but that's just me.
What a luxury, to be so offended over someone trying to show you respect. Have you visited Nepal lately?
Quote of the year.
I have to say that the pettiness and fractious nature of the views expressed on this thread depress me a little. It's almost as if these people lie awake at night seeking out reasons to fault others. Then some of the same people will appear in another thread, wondering why they have so few friends.
A person who says Sir or Ma'am is, 99.9999% of the time, making an attempt to be respectful and polite. That person isn't trying to denigrate you, isn't trying to make you feel old, and isn't trying to put your in your place. The person who is trying to be polite isn't, a very large majority of the time, trying to manipulate you either.
Nope. All that person is trying to do is accord you respect, one human being to another. And if you are suspicious of it, if you scorn it, if you worry that it makes you feel old, then that really speaks to your own character flaws. Either that or you're so consumed by your own agenda in life that you don't recognize politeness when you see it.
If anything, we inhabit a world where basic courtesy is in short supply. One would have to be the village idiot to complain when they are the beneficiary of it.
So what do they say in Wisconsin to get someone's attention?? "Hey Lady!" ???
Quote:
Originally Posted by kayanne
I'll answer as someone who grew up in Indiana. To get someone's attention, one would simply say, "Excuse me" or "Pardon me" or something to that effect. It would never have occurred to us to tack on a sir or ma'am to it. Just not done there. I know that seems completely weird to people from the south, but it's no more weird than the fact that southerners don't call anyone "mademoiselle" or "Lady so-and-so." It's just a simple matter of geography and dialect.
I agree with kayanne, you say something like "Excuse me" or "Pardon me" or "Can I help you?" or "I need you" or "Please stop" or whatever is appropriate for the situation. Guess what? Those phrases are suitable for anyone,men or women, old or young, boy or girl.
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