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You need a vocabulary lesson. 'Sweetie,' 'Dear,' 'Honey,' and 'Sugar' are endearments. 'Ma'am' is an honorific.
It's someone trying to suck up by using a term they think is favorable or a compliment. It's not an overly affectionate term like honey or sweetie is but it's still used in place of a proper name.
It's someone trying to suck up by using a term they think is favorable or a compliment. It's not an overly affectionate term like honey or sweetie is but it's still used in place of a proper name.
Yes, it's used in place of an "unknown" proper name. What would you suggest replace it? Do you want to hand out your name to every Tom, Dick and Harry that wants to address you? I don't. Ma'am is a title of respect in the dictionary, and every place I've lived.
Gotta say it. If you really and truly get insulted when someone tries to be polite and calls you ma'am, you might be just a little too fractious for your own good. There is no labelinggoing on. There is no assignment of age. There is no imposition of social construct. It is simply a polite way to address someone, far better than saying "Hey, you."
Quote:
Originally Posted by kayanne
The bolded part is true in YOUR experience, but there are definitely geographical differences, as others have pointed out. Where I grew up, "ma'am" was used only for elderly women.
Here's a specific example. My sister-in-law (in her 50's) recently posted on facebook:
"Someone called me ma'am today. Must be time to get my roots touched up!"
Quote:
Originally Posted by kayanne
Yes, sarcasm is the other use for ma'am where I grew up. I know it's hard for some people from the south to grasp the difference. When I moved to Louisiana (lived there about 18 months before moving to Texas) I had a conversation with someone about the fact that up north, children aren't raised to say ma'am. She said, "Don't you care about manners? Doesn't it bother you that you that children up there are allowed to be so disrespectful? My momma woulda BEAT us if we ever just said Yes instead of Yes ma'am." She just couldn't grasp that ma'am does not universally convey respect.
Where I grew up (Indianapolis), two uses for ma'am: elderly and sarcasm.
That is true in Wisconsin, too, ma'am means elderly woman (picture an old crone) or something used sarcastically.
I've been a teacher since 1975 and only time that I have ever heard a student, whether in elementary or high school, use ma'am to me or another adult it was used in a very sarcastic, rude, mean way.
And, when it is used in the community, it is very clearly directed to elderly woman. I'm 63 and I'm still shocked on the rare occasion when a salesclerk or stranger calls me ma'am as I do not view myself as an "older woman" or "elderly". I should make it clear that I am never rude to a person who calls me ma'am, but I would rather than they not use that term.
Last edited by germaine2626; 05-18-2015 at 08:49 PM..
And, when it is used in the community, it is very clearly directed to elderly woman. I'm 63 and I'm still shocked on the rare occasion when a salesclerk or stranger calls me ma'am as I do not view myself as an "older woman" or "elderly". I should make it clear that I am never rude to a person who calls me ma'am, but I would rather than they not use that term.
It depends on the part of the country you are in. There are parts of the country, if a sales clerk or stranger did not call you ma'am you have been insulted.
And if you were a military officer (female), and you were 20 years old you would be addressed as ma'am.
Just because you are in Wisconsin does not mean it is not proper other places.
It depends on the part of the country you are in. There are parts of the country, if a sales clerk or stranger did not call you ma'am you have been insulted.
And if you were a military officer (female), and you were 20 years old you would be addressed as ma'am.
Just because you are in Wisconsin does not mean it is not proper other places.
Yes, I know that is is proper in other places.
I made my comments to the poster who stated that ma'am did not refer to age and I pointed out that in Wisconsin it usually does (unless it being used sarcastically by a child or teen).
The whole point is to know your audience. Using ma'am can be an expected and respectful in some places in the US and rude and insulting in other places.
It's someone trying to suck up by using a term they think is favorable or a compliment. It's not an overly affectionate term like honey or sweetie is but it's still used in place of a proper name.
Personally, I think that statement says more about you and less about them. Further, what if you don't know the person's name? Is 'Hey, Bub!' preferable?
It makes some people feel categorized as over the hill. But there really isn't any alternative if you want to get somone's attention and you don't know their name. Sir or Maam is far better than "Hey You."
Wow, and here I thought I was being respectful of others when I use Ma'am and Sir!! Yes, I am from Texas and I find I get more respect when I treat others with respect by saying "Yes Sir" or "No Ma'am". And I try to address others that would be a lower status than me(custodians) as Miss (first name) and Mr. (first name).
Wasn't it on the TV show "Dallas" that Ellie Ewing was called "Miss Ellie" and nobody had trouble with it?
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