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If you are younger than me, by a generation (I'm old enough to be your Mother), then I consider Ma'am polite (not elderly). After all... I am YOUR Elder!
What absolutely irks my gut? When somebody YOUNGER than ME... calls me "kiddo". I just want to smack em!
Wow, and here I thought I was being respectful of others when I use Ma'am and Sir!! Yes, I am from Texas and I find I get more respect when I treat others with respect by saying "Yes Sir" or "No Ma'am". And I try to address others that would be a lower status than me(custodians) as Miss (first name) and Mr. (first name).
Wasn't it on the TV show "Dallas" that Ellie Ewing was called "Miss Ellie" and nobody had trouble with it?
I don't see getting wound up about something if someone is simply trying to be polite or respectful (even how they're going about it isn't my cup of tea). However, condescension is not polite. How about we address people politely regardless of how you perceive their status. Or your own.
Last edited by maciesmom; 05-18-2015 at 10:39 PM..
Wow, and here I thought I was being respectful of others when I use Ma'am and Sir!! Yes, I am from Texas and I find I get more respect when I treat others with respect by saying "Yes Sir" or "No Ma'am". And I try to address others that would be a lower status than me(custodians) as Miss (first name) and Mr. (first name).
Wasn't it on the TV show "Dallas" that Ellie Ewing was called "Miss Ellie" and nobody had trouble with it?
Lower status?. Yeah...real polite to consider another human being that dies a needed job in society to be lower than you.. Doubt we'll catch you cleaning the office toilet.
The use of ma'am is useful. As another poster has pointed out so well, you address someone you don't know as sir, or ma'am when you don't know their name and need to get their attention. I do think saying, "yes ma'am" in normal conversation is quite old fashioned though.
That is true in Wisconsin, too, ma'am means elderly woman (picture an old crone) or something used sarcastically.
I've been a teacher since 1975 and only time that I have ever heard a student, whether in elementary or high school, use ma'am to me or another adult it was used in a very sarcastic, rude, mean way.
And, when it is used in the community, it is very clearly directed to elderly woman. I'm 63 and I'm still shocked on the rare occasion when a salesclerk or stranger calls me ma'am as I do not view myself as an "older woman" or "elderly". I should make it clear that I am never rude to a person who calls me ma'am, but I would rather than they not use that term.
So what do they say in Wisconsin to get someone's attention?? "Hey Lady!" ??? Once again, Ma'am in no way indicates age other than that a woman is old enough to be married, since Miss is reserved for those perceived to be unmarried, just as Senora and Senorita are used in Spanish.
By the way, 63 is on the older end of the age spectrum ( 0 to 85ish) and thus you are an older woman. Sorry to be the bearer of that news. I am 56 myself, so I'm not trying to be mean. I'll be right there with you in just a couple of years.
So what do they say in Wisconsin to get someone's attention?? "Hey Lady!" ??? Once again, Ma'am in no way indicates age other than that a woman is old enough to be married, since Miss is reserved for those perceived to be unmarried, just as Senora and Senorita are used in Spanish.
By the way, 63 is on the older end of the age spectrum ( 0 to 85ish) and thus you are an older woman. Sorry to be the bearer of that news. I am 56 myself, so I'm not trying to be mean. I'll be right there with you in just a couple of years.
I'll answer as someone who grew up in Indiana. To get someone's attention, one would simply say, "Excuse me" or "Pardon me" or something to that effect. It would never have occurred to us to tack on a sir or ma'am to it. Just not done there. I know that seems completely weird to people from the south, but it's no more weird than the fact that southerners don't call anyone "mademoiselle" or "Lady so-and-so." It's just a simple matter of geography and dialect.
Even if it's "insulting" in your "region," you should have the emotional IQ to discern if the person saying it means to be insulting or is just being polite.
Even if it's "insulting" in your "region," you should have the emotional IQ to discern if the person saying it means to be insulting or is just being polite.
I hardly think I'm an idiot. And now, having lived in the south for 3 years, being called ma'am doesn't faze me. But when I was still a "Yankee" and someone called me ma'am, I would wonder if I looked particularly frail or old that day.
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