How to convince my parents I want to quit my job. (father, wedding)

[lae60]

You hate programming, then find a different job. Try flipping burgers and support yourself at your place, and that can be wherever you want, that is YOUR place and not your parents. Go to school and pay for your schooling too. And you can go to school at night, on weekends, or on-line whenever you want. IF you must go to school during the day, then flip burgers at night or learn to bar tend, anything that lets you pay your own way in this world.

My guess is that you are already WAYYY past the age for mommie and daddy to support you, giving you room and board and paying for your education.

Cheeezzz I had my 4 year college degree by age 21, and even then worked part time through college....and took classes through the Summer to finish early. Oh, and the graduate work, that was done later, after I had a real full time job

For you, at 26 years old, you could have finished a medical degree, a year ago!

So, do what you want, put pay your own way in life, and let mommie and daddy stop being mommie and daddy and live their own lives as empty nesters

That is likely why they were yelling. You are 26: they should be empty nesters.

[Jukesgrrl]

Sorry but I can't give you any support. I moved from Washington, DC, where I worked after college, to Pittsburgh on my own dime to attend graduate school when I was 25. Never expected my parents (a steelworker and a secretary) to support me and I wouldn't have wasted my breath asking. They had paid the bills left from my bachelor's degree, after my scholarship money was all used up. That was enough.

I worked while taking classes, shared an apartment with two other people, and rode the bus because I couldn't afford a car. It's doable. The degree was something I was very interested in but was hopeless as far as making me money for the rest of my life. But I've never regretted earning that degree. It was an adventure and it improved my intellect. Even if your degree will increase your earning potential, it's a little cheesy to expect your parents to open their house to you just because you're dissatisfied with decisions you made. You're an adult now. Invest that money in your savings account in yourself.

Handle this yourself. Your parents will have more respect for you and they won't be able to criticize your plans if they're not funding them.

[Waterlily Pad]

Please, turn that question around and ask, "how do I convince myself on finding ways to help myself?"

[don1945]

When I saw the title, I thought you were 16, not a grownup of 26. Time to put on your big boy pants and act your age. If you let your parents dictate your life it is your fault.

When my Sons were your age they made their own decisions and I was fine with that. A couple of times they moved back to get themselves on their feet again, but I still didn't get in their business, they were adults and I respected them for that.

Don

[Vision67]

So you are 26 and you need to please your parents?

As long as you can support yourself you should be able to do what you like. If you hate your job just do something else. It's really that simple.

[s1alker]

Originally Posted by Sabiya

Americans and their weird insistence that once you're 18, you're out of the house because as an adult a parent's job is done. Sorry, but it's NEVER done unless you're 6 feet under.

Your parents are miffed because they think you moving back will be permanent. If you explain it's going to be temporary, they might be more open. I honestly don't see the big issue. I've been raised in multi-generational homes and I didn't move out until I was 24. My husband moved out at 17, and frankly he was under so much stressed when he moved out that early.

I can't tell which is better, to live with your parents even in the later years or to ditch them at 18, but I can tell you this: I would never make fun of someone if they needed to move back in with their parents temporarily while they get their careers in order.

In the past it was possible for someone to get a living wage job and move out at 18 years of age. Today, hardly as much. As the living standard of the USA continues to equalize with the rest of the world generational households are making a come back.

[mo8414]

just find another programming job untill you get one that the employees arent douch bags. I know a programmer that had to move around 6 times before he found the right place and hes making big bucks ontop if it. every industry has companies within it that wont accept you unless you fit into their click. So just tell them to [bleep] and move on to another job. See if you can find a job working part time so you can get your schooling in order. Or just quit, show up on mom and dads door step and see what happens.

[texan2yankee]

Originally Posted by yellowbelle

You're 26, so do what other grown ups do - get whatever training you need during the evenings/weekends, and stay at your job until you have another lined up (in writing).

Sorry, but if my 26 year old kid said he didn't like his job and was moving home, I'd yell too. Their job is done; they've raised you. The flip side is, support yourself and they have no right to an opinion on what you do for a living.

Perfectly said, yellowbelle.

If one of my adult children even considered moving back into the family home like the OP, expecting us to support him/her again, I'd know I had failed in my job as a parent.

[Tominftl]

The only thing I will add is don't quit your job unless you have another lined up. BIG MISTAKE. You will need the income. Don't rely on parents. Find another programming job with a better group of people. They sound immature where you are now. But keep your head up and don't allow others to put you in this depressing mood. Things WILL get better...

[srsmn]

Originally Posted by EaglesFan101

I am 26 years old and I am a Java programmer in Atlanta. My hometown is Dallas TX. I do not have a family that depends on me.

So the first reason:

I moved to Atlanta on May 6th and since then it has been a series of bad events. First my roommate was such an ass*ole to a point where I had to move out and pay 2 rents at once for one month. My knee got hyperextended and I was on crutches for 2 months straight. Then I have some crappy coworkers at work which brings me to my 2nd reason.

Second reason:
I hate programming. I gave it a shot for 3 years and found out it's not for me. I hate logic puzzles and sitting behind a computer and researching code all day. I hate my job and I hate my coworkers. I had a phone interview where they asked me basic java questions and I answered all of them flawlessly. There were no "share your screen and code" questions at all. So my intermediate developer (he is not my boss) emailed me programming interview questions 4 months after the interview and 3 1/2 months after I got the job to "prove myself." and he also said in front of the director and a couple other managers that "I do not know ****." I have never worked with him before and he is in no position to say that and that was very unprofessional. So I told my boss about those two instances and she said she will deal with it accordingly.

The next morning I need help on some code so I asked some people and they said they will not help and that I have to figure it out on my own. It is like a frat-boy atmosphere here. When you tell your boss about someone's un-professionalism, his friends will also not like you.

Did I also say that I absolutely dread programming? I hate java, I hate Apache Camel, I hate spring. I hate everything about it. I am more of a social guy so therefore I like to be talking to people rather than sitting behind a computer and research/type code.

I want to learn SAP because it is a functional role rather than a technical role. I feel like I can thrive in that technology. I have found some training places where they will train you in SAP and look for a job for you.

I called my parents today and they just shouted at me today. I so want to just put in my two weeks notice in on Monday. How can I tell them that I am sick and tired of programming and want to do something different?

Thanks

Quit your job, don't tell your parents. It will feel amazing.

But be aware, you need the financial resources to sustain a long job search. I just ended my job search of seven months, but not before I dipped into my high-interest savings account (which I hadn't even touched for years) to help me pay my way through it. I don't regret it one bit. That savings account will be full again in no time. Money comes back to you, being miserable will wreck you. But going broke trying to be happy just makes you more miserable. Fair warning.

If you have enough of a nest egg to do it, though, I highly recommend it. The average job search is about 6 months. I would say to be safe, plan on a year. That way, if it is less time than that to find the next job, you're golden.