How to convince my parents I want to quit my job. (husband, person)
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I am 26 years old and I am a Java programmer in Atlanta. My hometown is Dallas TX. I do not have a family that depends on me.
So the first reason:
I moved to Atlanta on May 6th and since then it has been a series of bad events. First my roommate was such an ass*ole to a point where I had to move out and pay 2 rents at once for one month. My knee got hyperextended and I was on crutches for 2 months straight. Then I have some crappy coworkers at work which brings me to my 2nd reason.
Second reason:
I hate programming. I gave it a shot for 3 years and found out it's not for me. I hate logic puzzles and sitting behind a computer and researching code all day. I hate my job and I hate my coworkers. I had a phone interview where they asked me basic java questions and I answered all of them flawlessly. There were no "share your screen and code" questions at all. So my intermediate developer (he is not my boss) emailed me programming interview questions 4 months after the interview and 3 1/2 months after I got the job to "prove myself." and he also said in front of the director and a couple other managers that "I do not know ****." I have never worked with him before and he is in no position to say that and that was very unprofessional. So I told my boss about those two instances and she said she will deal with it accordingly.
The next morning I need help on some code so I asked some people and they said they will not help and that I have to figure it out on my own. It is like a frat-boy atmosphere here. When you tell your boss about someone's un-professionalism, his friends will also not like you.
Did I also say that I absolutely dread programming? I hate java, I hate Apache Camel, I hate spring. I hate everything about it. I am more of a social guy so therefore I like to be talking to people rather than sitting behind a computer and research/type code.
I want to learn SAP because it is a functional role rather than a technical role. I feel like I can thrive in that technology. I have found some training places where they will train you in SAP and look for a job for you.
I called my parents today and they just shouted at me today. I so want to just put in my two weeks notice in on Monday. How can I tell them that I am sick and tired of programming and want to do something different?
Thanks
Last edited by EaglesFan101; 09-12-2015 at 07:12 PM..
You are an adult, yes? You can do what you want regardless of what your parents think. Unless they are paying your rent. Are they? Can you afford to live without working? If you can't then you need to find something else before putting in your two weeks. Yes, it is bad and you are at your wits end but don't mess it all up because of that. Think it through and get something else lined up. You say you would like to do SAP, can you stay at this job until you have learned that and gotten a job doing that? I don't see how what your parents want or think should matter to you unless they are paying for your bills. As long as you have another job and aren't a deadbeat then they should be satisfied. It will be easier telling them once you have something else lined up. And if they still aren't happy then I would call them once a month to check in and thats it. As an adult you can choose how much interaction you have with people and if they aren't going to support you then you need to limit it.
Last edited by Becki in Tx.; 09-12-2015 at 07:54 PM..
Just quit. You're 26, miles away from home and clearly self-sufficient. If you're worried about disappointing your parents, impress them by creating an action plan instead of just whining. Look for a new job that plays off your existing experience/skillset, at a company that would benefit from your social personality/work ethic. Get in touch with a recruiter or even cold call the company. Share your zeal with your parents and it may soften the blow. Make sure you can rationalize why trying programming for a few years was a foolish endeavor, but trying SAP for a few years won't be.
You are an adult, yes? You can do what you want regardless of what your parents think. Unless they are paying your rent. Are they? Can you afford to live without working? If you can't then you need to find something else before putting in your two weeks. Yes, it is bad and you are at your wits end but don't *********rself because of that. Think it through and get something else lined up. You say you would like to do SAP, can you stay at this job until you have learned that and gotten a job doing that? I don't see how what your parents want or think should matter to you unless they are paying for your bills. As long as you have another job and aren't a deadbeat then they should be satisfied. It will be easier telling them once you have something else lined up. And if they still aren't happy then I would call them once a month to check in and thats it. As an adult you can choose how much interaction you have with people and if they aren't going to support you then you need to limit it.
I have 13 grand in my bank account. And no they don't pay any of my bills. I just want to move back home while I do the SAP training and just move on with my life by finding a job that makes me happy.
I have 13 grand in my bank account. And no they don't pay any of my bills. I just want to move back home while I do the SAP training and just move on with my life by finding a job that makes me happy.
Doing the training or finding a job while I already have one is not an option. I absolutely dread programming. The developers in my team are douchebags. Sorry to say.
I guess I will just put in my notice on Monday and move back after two weeks.
I can't quit my job and still stay in Atlanta, it will be too expensive with no income.
Doing the training or finding a job while I already have one is not an option. I absolutely dread programming. The developers in my team are douchebags. Sorry to say.
I guess I will just put in my notice on Monday and move back after two weeks.
I can't quit my job and still stay in Atlanta, it will be too expensive with no income.
Then figure something else out. If your parents aren't happy, they may not be willing to support you.
You're 26, so do what other grown ups do - get whatever training you need during the evenings/weekends, and stay at your job until you have another lined up (in writing).
Sorry, but if my 26 year old kid said he didn't like his job and was moving home, I'd yell too. Their job is done; they've raised you. The flip side is, support yourself and they have no right to an opinion on what you do for a living.
Then figure something else out. If your parents aren't happy, they may not be willing to support you.
They may be thrilled to be alone with each other for the first time in years. Maybe they are feeling exceptionally frisky and you would put a damper on their ability to be spontaneous anywhere and anytime without worrying if someone (you) might barge in.
Americans and their weird insistence that once you're 18, you're out of the house because as an adult a parent's job is done. Sorry, but it's NEVER done unless you're 6 feet under.
Your parents are miffed because they think you moving back will be permanent. If you explain it's going to be temporary, they might be more open. I honestly don't see the big issue. I've been raised in multi-generational homes and I didn't move out until I was 24. My husband moved out at 17, and frankly he was under so much stressed when he moved out that early.
I can't tell which is better, to live with your parents even in the later years or to ditch them at 18, but I can tell you this: I would never make fun of someone if they needed to move back in with their parents temporarily while they get their careers in order.
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