How to convince my parents I want to quit my job. (retirement, workplace)
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LOL here comes the "When my dad was your age"
Stop speaking about your dad. Tell me what you have done. Show me that you practice what you preach.
and your dad lived in a different era. I wish I lived in the 70's or 80's when it was even possible to lease a studio apartment, send money back to india, pursue two masters degrees and also work.
Thank you come again.
Me?
I don't have to prove anything to you, but I am a physician and part owner of two companies that my partners and I built by basically taking giant paycuts for years to capitalize and payroll.
I buy tons of crap for my parents, including inviting and paying for their vacations. They could afford it themselves, but I like to give back. I also bought my mom a new car when she needed one.
I've had a part time job and sometimes 2 at a time since I was 15.
I worked 80-100 hours a week for most of my 20s, verrry often doing crap I hated.
I am in my 30s now. And live in my own house and everything.
Agreed that I am being abrasive. But there is a reason for it:
People are saying that my "parents are going to sacrifice...again."
I am challenging them on how they are going to sacrifice when I will be paying for my own bills. So where exactly is the sacrifice. Really do not understand and all they can bring up is how they went about in their day and age. Well, this is a different day and age.
Like I said, it's going to be like a roommate situation. I have lots of friends leasing an apartment with their dad and they split 50/50 on everything as if two random roommates talked about it before they signed the lease.
I seriously do not understand. These people are assuming that I will "mooch" off of them.
Go Eagles!
You always have a choice about how you're going to react to people. Even when they're assuming wrong things about you on the internet.
Your question in the OP was about how you're going to convince your parents that you want to quit your job. Most people on here are telling you that you don't need to involve your parents. Just take care of your own business and you won't have to convince your parents of anything.
If you ask your parents if you can move back home and pay rent, etc., but they don't want you to live at home again, you're going to have to figure out another place to live while getting the training you need. Or just suck it up at your job til you can find something better.
When I was just about your age I made a major career change and asked my parents if they could help me out financially while I went back to school. They said they couldn't afford it so I did it on my own with loans, scholarships and part-time jobs. Rent was cheaper then in relation to wages, but it still was a financial struggle. If you really want to make the change, you'll do it without having to convince your parents to help you.
I'm a Gen-Xer.
I employ various people, including millennials. There's a pattern there whether you want to admit it or not.
Met some great ones.
Most...not so much. No generation is perfect.
The fact that there are actually management seminars on how to deal with them is telling.
The pattern seems to be more perceived than there in practice.
And you are right, no generation is perfect. But millennials bear a brunt of criticism that they do not deserve. There is no actual research that indicates that millennials are less productive than any other generation. None. Zilch.
I'd be curious to hear what you think is "not so great" about the millennials that you employ, and what makes the great ones that you employ so great. I imagine that the "not so great" ones exhibit traits and bad habits that are present in the working population of any generation, whereas the "great ones" do some things that are innovative and unique. My 2 cents.
Also, the fact that there are management seminars on how to deal with millennials tells you nothing, besides the fact that people will go to a management seminar on literally anything. But we already knew that.
Your education is totally lacking. There were many hard economic times for the baby boomers--they just dealt with it and moved on. They did not feel entitled, they just knew that whatever happened they could work hard and overcome it. That was the foundation of this country.
To start to educate yourself, try looking at some of the more recent events--the 1980's recession, you can read about it here:
Economics, they did not have it easier, just different. In the 1980's many people lost their homes due to the then current lending practice. Say you bought a home for $500k then the housing market fell. The house you bought for $500k is then worth only $250k, but you owe say $400k for it. The banks could and did require you to pay the difference in the house's worth and what you owed or they foreclosed. In this example the folks would be required to pay $150k immediately or lose their house. Many people were left homeless. And there was no bailout or readjustment of the mortgages like these was in the last housing collapse. People just lost it.
Major engineering and science jobs were cut, especially in areas like CA, professional employees were jobless. Major unemployment in the US, and nope they did NOT extend the unemployment benefits. Engineers flipped burgers and turned into painters, etc. They did what they had to to feed their families.
Oh, and BTW, the wonderful economic times you tout also included mortgage rates of 12% for those with excellent credit and well over 18% for those with less than perfect, but still good credit. Here is a chart of the historic mortgage rates since the 1970's:
You can easily see that the current rate is lower than it was since the 1970's--45 years, and that is NOT inflation adjusted. Inflation adjusted and you currently have an even better deal in buying a home.
Oh and all those electronic devices you are sooooo proud of, your generation is not responsible for them. MY grandfather's generation invented the radio and tv. MY parents generation invented stereos and computers, and my generation the INTERNET and cell phones. Older generations use them as tools--a way to accomplish a task. The newer generation uses them toys, a way to entertain themselves Boomers embrace technology, heck most of what you use we invented, they are just not consuming all of our lives. See we can drive a car without being concerned that life will stop if we put down the phone
So, before you cry about how rough your generation has is, maybe you should look at the past generations, every generation has it challenges: guess history was not your favorite subject
Before you question my education, you should know that I have multiple degrees in History, with a focus on America in the 20th Century, and have written extensively on this very subject (mostly de-industrialization).
Please do not tell me I need to "educate myself," and please do not link wikipedia articles for me.
Interest rates on housing loans are lower now than they were then because Baby-Boomers inflated the housing market to unsustainable levels. Baby-Boomers had higher discretionary incomes (more luxury spending) than any generation before them or after, because they lived in the most resourced period of American history with far fewer economic constraints than any other generation.
Your last paragraph reads as reactionary.
Perhaps you are the one who needs to read up on the history.
I'm Chinese. Although we are different, our cultures are similar in many ways.
I understand why your parents yelled at you. Our parents expect a lot of their children and like them, we are expected to bear it all for the mighty dollar, no matter how unpleasant the job is. I get why they prefer you to stick it out. They are yelling because they are worried for you. You do see that, right?
With that said, you are benefiting from your parents. It's more than just paying rent. Grocery, water, electric, gas bills goes up because your mom and dad wants you fed, cleaned and comfortable. Those things can add up.
You are trying your best not to touch the 13k in savings by moving back home. Isn't that the reason to have a savings account, to help you when you need it?
Before you question my education, you should know that I have multiple degrees in History, with a focus on America in the 20th Century, and have written extensively on this very subject (mostly de-industrialization).
This is one of the problems with my generation (Millennials) as I see it. Many Millennials think that because they have a piece of paper that says they are educated, that they know more than people who actually experienced something first hand. In the workplace, this equates to a know-it-all attitude (while actually knowing very little) and a snobby disregard for real world experience that is almost always more valuable than formal education.
The pattern seems to be more perceived than there in practice.
And you are right, no generation is perfect. But millennials bear a brunt of criticism that they do not deserve. There is no actual research that indicates that millennials are less productive than any other generation. None. Zilch.
I'd be curious to hear what you think is "not so great" about the millennials that you employ, and what makes the great ones that you employ so great. I imagine that the "not so great" ones exhibit traits and bad habits that are present in the working population of any generation, whereas the "great ones" do some things that are innovative and unique. My 2 cents.
Also, the fact that there are management seminars on how to deal with millennials tells you nothing, besides the fact that people will go to a management seminar on literally anything. But we already knew that.
I think one psychologist I worked with put it best...with millennials, they want you to give them the raise/accolades/big money/etc AND THEN they will show you how good they are. And they require near-constant feedback/reassurance.
Pretty much every generation before did it the other way around. Let me prove how awesome I am to you, and then I will earn raises/accolades/promotions/respect, etc.
I don't blame millennials. I blame their parents.
I don't think millennials are dumb or narcissistic like many people do. I think they're unprepared to be adults. This translates to problems in college and the workplace.
Studies? There are plenty of studies/surveys to back this up. Just look for them. One of my minors was in History. One thing I know how to do is research. Of course, I didn't have google to help me do it...and I had to walk both ways uphill in the snow to the library.
I like some excerpts from this article...
The big problem is not that they think too highly of themselves. Their bigger challenge is conflict negotiation, and they often are unable to think for themselves. The overinvolvement of helicopter parents prevents children from learning how to grapple with disappointments on their own. If parents are navigating every minor situation for their kids, kids never learn to deal with conflict on their own. Helicopter parenting has caused these kids to crash land.
A 2013 study in the Journal of Child and Family Studies found that college students who experienced helicopter-parenting reported higher levels of depression and use of antidepressant medications. The researchers suggest that intrusive parenting interferes with the development of autonomy and competence. So helicopter parenting leads to increased dependence and decreased ability to complete tasks without parental supervision.
The millennials I work with who are great are engaged, attentive, looking for new opportunities to do something new or solve a problem or anticipate a need. They show up on time, they work hard, and they are polite and respectful. They take correction well in-hand and actually implement changes they are told they need to make. They use their down time at work to BE PRODUCTIVE instead of sucked into their phones.
This is so NOT the norm that it always strikes me as an amazing awesome surprise. Gumption and discipline. I love these guys and I let them know AND reward them financially above their compensation.
The people we hire go through a very competitive program to get to us, so it's not like we're taking random shmoes off the street. Everyone we hire is the top GPA, good recommendations, etc.
And yet these great ones are the exception rather than the rule. That we interview and that wind up slipping through and being hired.
But like I said, this is getting way OT and there are other threads discussing the merits and pitfalls of working with and managing various generations.
Your education is totally lacking. There were many hard economic times for the baby boomers--they just dealt with it and moved on. They did not feel entitled, they just knew that whatever happened they could work hard and overcome it. That was the foundation of this country.
To start to educate yourself, try looking at some of the more recent events--the 1980's recession, you can read about it here:
Economics, they did not have it easier, just different. In the 1980's many people lost their homes due to the then current lending practice. Say you bought a home for $500k then the housing market fell. The house you bought for $500k is then worth only $250k, but you owe say $400k for it. The banks could and did require you to pay the difference in the house's worth and what you owed or they foreclosed. In this example the folks would be required to pay $150k immediately or lose their house. Many people were left homeless. And there was no bailout or readjustment of the mortgages like these was in the last housing collapse. People just lost it.
Major engineering and science jobs were cut, especially in areas like CA, professional employees were jobless. Major unemployment in the US, and nope they did NOT extend the unemployment benefits. Engineers flipped burgers and turned into painters, etc. They did what they had to to feed their families.
Oh, and BTW, the wonderful economic times you tout also included mortgage rates of 12% for those with excellent credit and well over 18% for those with less than perfect, but still good credit. Here is a chart of the historic mortgage rates since the 1970's:
You can easily see that the current rate is lower than it was since the 1970's--45 years, and that is NOT inflation adjusted. Inflation adjusted and you currently have an even better deal in buying a home.
Oh and all those electronic devices you are sooooo proud of, your generation is not responsible for them. MY grandfather's generation invented the radio and tv. MY parents generation invented stereos and computers, and my generation the INTERNET and cell phones. Older generations use them as tools--a way to accomplish a task. The newer generation uses them toys, a way to entertain themselves Boomers embrace technology, heck most of what you use we invented, they are just not consuming all of our lives. See we can drive a car without being concerned that life will stop if we put down the phone
So, before you cry about how rough your generation has is, maybe you should look at the past generations, every generation has it challenges: guess history was not your favorite subject
More to this point:
Interest rates peaked in 1981, and that is mostly due to an issue of supply and demand. As you know (I'm sure you do, since you are such a learned scholar of history, and I am such a smuck), there was spurious growth in the new housing market throughout the 1980's (i.e., there was more new construction then than at any previous time since the immediate post-War Era). This is because, by and large, America's largest generation in recorded history was ready to buy homes.
What you see in the period of high interest rates (which lasted, what? Three whole years?!?) was the intermediary period when supply of housing stock was far lower than demand.
The Federal Reserve (again, I'm sure you know this, since you are the History genius, and I-- the one with the Masters in this subject-- am just some dumb smuck) intentionally depreciated interest rates at this time, through policy. They did this because they anticipated a large market for many years (they were right). In short, the first great readjustment of federal loan rates WAS in the 1980's.
What did not happen, however, was a depreciation in costs. Like it or not, the real cost of a home (and this belies what I have bolded in your post above) is higher now when compared to real income than it was then. In the 1980's, housing costs approximated annual income. Now, housing costs exceed average annual income (by about a factor of 2). Don't believe me? Maybe you will believe The Guardian:
From 1970 to 1997, the average full-time earnings grew at roughly the same pace as housing prices. But since then, while average earnings have grown by 27%, housing prices have grown in real terms by 121%.
Given the lack of wealth younger people have to use as collateral for a loan, this has meant the amount of savings required to afford a deposit for a home loan has exploded well beyond what similar first home buyers needed 15, 25, or 40 years ago.
The Manufacturing industry actually held strong well into the 1990's. Between 1998 and now, we have lost over 5 million jobs in the manufacturing sector in America. Our GDP share from manufacturing has decreased dramatically. The manufacturing sector actually grew between 1975 and 1980:
We have gone from a peak of around 19 million manufacturing jobs in the late 1970's to approximately 12 million manufacturing jobs now. And, as I mentioned, those same jobs require degrees and certifications that they did not require in the early 1980's.
In terms of professional jobs, the real unemployment rate in the recession of 2008 exceeded that of 1981-82:
I think one psychologist I worked with put it best...with millennials, they want you to give them the raise/accolades/big money/etc AND THEN they will show you how good they are. And they require near-constant feedback/reassurance.
Pretty much every generation before did it the other way around. Let me prove how awesome I am to you, and then I will earn raises/accolades/promotions/respect, etc.
I don't blame millennials. I blame their parents.
I don't think millennials are dumb or narcissistic like many people do. I think they're unprepared to be adults. This translates to problems in college and the workplace.
Studies? There are plenty of studies/surveys to back this up. Just look for them. One of my minors was in History. One thing I know how to do is research. Of course, I didn't have google to help me do it...and I had to walk both ways uphill in the snow to the library.
I like some excerpts from this article...
The big problem is not that they think too highly of themselves. Their bigger challenge is conflict negotiation, and they often are unable to think for themselves. The overinvolvement of helicopter parents prevents children from learning how to grapple with disappointments on their own. If parents are navigating every minor situation for their kids, kids never learn to deal with conflict on their own. Helicopter parenting has caused these kids to crash land.
A 2013 study in the Journal of Child and Family Studies found that college students who experienced helicopter-parenting reported higher levels of depression and use of antidepressant medications. The researchers suggest that intrusive parenting interferes with the development of autonomy and competence. So helicopter parenting leads to increased dependence and decreased ability to complete tasks without parental supervision.
The millennials I work with who are great are engaged, attentive, looking for new opportunities to do something new or solve a problem or anticipate a need. They show up on time, they work hard, and they are polite and respectful. They take correction well in-hand and actually implement changes they are told they need to make. They use their down time at work to BE PRODUCTIVE instead of sucked into their phones.
This is so NOT the norm that it always strikes me as an amazing awesome surprise. Gumption and discipline. I love these guys and I let them know AND reward them financially above their compensation.
The people we hire go through a very competitive program to get to us, so it's not like we're taking random shmoes off the street. Everyone we hire is the top GPA, good recommendations, etc.
And yet these great ones are the exception rather than the rule. That we interview and that wind up slipping through and being hired.
But like I said, this is getting way OT and there are other threads discussing the merits and pitfalls of working with and managing various generations.
I think helicopter parenting is a major issue. I'm not a parent, but if I were (or when I am one), I think I will be more of the "free-range" variety.
Anyway, maybe this is cultural or even geographic, but I don't know many people my age (or the OP's age) who really did grow up with helicopter parents. I see the trend certainly in school-aged children, teenagers, and even a few early-20-somethings....not as much with those 25 or older.
Then again, it seems as though you hire millennials with pretty extensive educations and life experiences, who are probably of the older part of the generation, not the younger. So what do I know?
This is not meant to be a ripping of the young'ins on my part; that would be hypocritical, of course. I think that they have unique assets and skills to my own, and I think it's too soon to know exactly what those are as they are just entering the workforce (I have five years of post-College experience in the workforce, but have been working in one place or another at least part-time since I was 15).
I think what you quoted is more an indictment on people raised by helicopter parents than it is of millennials, as a whole. I am not sure if one could quantify how many millennials were raised by helicopter parents, but I would be interested to see that research, if it exists.
I am glad, also, that you have some positive experiences in managing millennials. I think the qualities that you point to are the qualities that many of us have that will set us up to be uniquely successful (not saying members of previous generations don't have these qualities, as well). And I stand by the assertion that we are-- as a whole-- uniquely resilient and adaptable. People (laborers, workers) my age have already been challenged to adapt to a workplace and economy that has changed dramatically in the short time from which we've entered it; it's changed more in the past 5-10 years (millennials include those in their early thirties by most definitions, remember) than it did in the entire career-life of many Baby-Boomers.
But you are right....we are off-topic, now.
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Boomers embrace technology, heck most of what you use we invented, they are just not consuming all of our lives. See we can drive a car without being concerned that life will stop if we put down the phone
