How to convince my parents I want to quit my job. (grandma, Christmas)
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They may be thrilled to be alone with each other for the first time in years. Maybe they are feeling exceptionally frisky and you would put a damper on their ability to be spontaneous anywhere and anytime without worrying if someone (you) might barge in.
Can you please all pass these feelings and opinions on to the overwhelming number of people (wasn't the latest statistic 40%) who not only live at home forever, but then bring their bf's, gf's, and children in tow with them back to the 'family home'? I have never (aside from myself, my sister, and one friend) heard of one adult living completely on their own without a roommate, bf/gf, or spouse).
Americans and their weird insistence that once you're 18, you're out of the house because as an adult a parent's job is done. Sorry, but it's NEVER done unless you're 6 feet under.
Your parents are miffed because they think you moving back will be permanent. If you explain it's going to be temporary, they might be more open. I honestly don't see the big issue. I've been raised in multi-generational homes and I didn't move out until I was 24. My husband moved out at 17, and frankly he was under so much stressed when he moved out that early.
I can't tell which is better, to live with your parents even in the later years or to ditch them at 18, but I can tell you this: I would never make fun of someone if they needed to move back in with their parents temporarily while they get their careers in order.
I wouldn't, either. However, I was told many years ago by a professional who provides govt. program financial assistance to adults, and this is a quote and not a weird insistance "They (the parents) don't have to!!" Bottom line. They do not have to provide financial assistance to ANY adult child. There are parents that tell their child to go on welfare, hand them a list of homeless shelters, and tell them to get help elsewhere. All the people that think an adult child is entitled to live with a parent, are you going to shelter the adult child in your home, out of the blue? Over and over again? What about the men I see, now in their 40's and 50's, who get on public transportation, poor, talking loudly about how they got divorced and live with their mom? How is that helpful to anyone?!
Oh, you bet it was more stressful when we moved out at age 17!! We lived above a grandmother on a second floor separate from her, and it was multi-generational. What multi generational USED to mean (and still does) is the CHILDREN financially support their PARENTS and the grandparents, not the other way around! Some people do not have a choice. Some children are physically abandoned by their parents, as happened to someone I know, and the parents are never in their lives from the time they are small children! That person is a huge inspiration to me, because not only has he always made his own living without their help, he has owned several homes and his own business!
You hate programming, then find a different job. Try flipping burgers and support yourself at your place, and that can be wherever you want, that is YOUR place and not your parents. Go to school and pay for your schooling too. And you can go to school at night, on weekends, or on-line whenever you want. IF you must go to school during the day, then flip burgers at night or learn to bar tend, anything that lets you pay your own way in this world.
My guess is that you are already WAYYY past the age for mommie and daddy to support you, giving you room and board and paying for your education.
Cheeezzz I had my 4 year college degree by age 21, and even then worked part time through college....and took classes through the Summer to finish early. Oh, and the graduate work, that was done later, after I had a real full time job
For you, at 26 years old, you could have finished a medical degree, a year ago!
So, do what you want, put pay your own way in life, and let mommie and daddy stop being mommie and daddy and live their own lives as empty nesters
That is likely why they were yelling. You are 26: they should be empty nesters.
It is funny that none of the many, many people I know and hear about constantly, the ones letting their adult children live at home, even move their adult children with them to a palatial, 3.5 acre NEW home (!!!!) AND take them back in AFTER they are married, apparently don't post on city data! No one finishes a medical degree at age 25. I should know. I have a doctor in my family who practices in Dallas and I am on my way to becoming a physician assistant, having gone straight through, including summer semesters, no breaks, and working. I don't care how long it takes someone to get a degree (s) as long as they get them and work while in college! No one pays their own way in 'this world' by flipping burgers! Those burger jobs pay, at most, $17k a year, full time, unless the minimum wage has recently increased for Dallas/Atlanta. Let's get real. In order to live on that, you will need a roommate to share expenses, at the least. Ask someone (notice I mean friends, also!) to subsidize housing (first last month's rent, with paying it back as a requirement!) until a good paying job is obtained. Do whatever additional training/schooling is necessary.
Sorry but I can't give you any support. I moved from Washington, DC, where I worked after college, to Pittsburgh on my own dime to attend graduate school when I was 25. Never expected my parents (a steelworker and a secretary) to support me and I wouldn't have wasted my breath asking. They had paid the bills left from my bachelor's degree, after my scholarship money was all used up. That was enough.
My father worked for Congress for 25 years. It doesn't matter what job a parent or parents have, I never 'expected' . I moved across country several times for work, and received no going-away parties from fam that others told me they got. We were told to work after high school or go to college on a 'co op' program, in which you work your way through college, subsequently taking 5 years for a four year degree.
I worked while taking classes, shared an apartment with two other people, and rode the bus because I couldn't afford a car. It's doable. The degree was something I was very interested in but was hopeless as far as making me money for the rest of my life. But I've never regretted earning that degree. It was an adventure and it improved my intellect. Even if your degree will increase your earning potential, it's a little cheesy to expect your parents to open their house to you just because you're dissatisfied with decisions you made. You're an adult now. Invest that money in your savings account in yourself.
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Moved out at 17 and I am still riding the bus for the last seven years, because I cannot afford a car. You would think that parents would respect you more for being on your own, but some do not. I used to think like that, but have found that those that expect to be taken care of generally are, with many people opening their homes to them.
Please, turn that question around and ask, "how do I convince myself on finding ways to help myself?"
ALL adults, including the divorced, the widowed, the married with children , need to get help from somewhere OTHER THAN mommy and daddy! This isn't a contest of who had it harder. Struggling financially for years doesn't always make a better person. Unfortunately, as I mentioned before, the self-entitled seem to do very well in life and continue to get entitlements for decades after they finally move out, while the independent people get stress. And these parents that let their adult children live at home and have sex in THEIR home?! Disgusting! What reason are you giving them to leave?! A person of any self-worth and respect wouldn't want to be treated like a child and would want to move out. I don't care if a person has five degrees and got them while working 5 jobs at once while living on their own in a hovel, while another person lived in a comfortable home until age 55 (or never left home), with vehicles (plural) provided by dad, and then inherited the houses they never worked for. The latter, unfortunately, greatly outnumbers the former in the past 50 years. You had sex willingly (the wide majority of the time, and oh! it was so horrible! You all just had to grit your teeth through it repeatedly, right? Yeah, right ) and chose to bring them into the world, so it's ultimately your responsibility forever. That's why I don't have any.. I looked around !
You want to move back in with mommy and daddy at 26 years old? And they are yelling at you about it? Don't move back into their home.
Instead, come up with an alternate plan. Figure out a way to live somewhere while you go to school. Live in a dorm or rent a room in someone's home near the college campus. Use your savings to pay for the dorm rent and food while you are going to school for SAP. Get student loans to pay for the courses. Also you might get student loans to pay for living expenses and food, just like any other student that doesn't live with mommy and daddy. Also work a part-time job while attending school to cover living expenses and food, so you don't have to borrow as much.
Do whatever it takes so you DO NOT move back to live with mommy and daddy. That's why they yelled at you. They don't want you living at home as if you are a 16 year old. You must figure out a way to attend school and live somewhere that's not mommy and daddy's place.
Bad enough when you're young and single. Tell it to the MARRIED couples that have the nerve, after making a contract with someone else and signing a marriage certificate, to return to mommy or daddy or have the audacity to ask them for financial help with THEIR kids (the grandkids) all the time, on a daily basis, year after year! And the divorced ones that move back in with mommy and daddy. When the mothers don't work/refuse to work! That's the majority, and much worse than a single person who wants another job doing it, because now, not only are you giving the parents yourself, you are bringing the wifey and kids along to support!
How in the world is Atlanta too expensive to stay in for a job search with $13,000 stored away???
I mean, I would definitely understand New York, San Francisco, Boston....but Atlanta? You can do a full-time job search on $13,000 in Atlanta. It just seems like you are not willing to rectify yourself to the fact that you will not have $13,000 saved up still by the time the job search is done. That's trying to eat your cake and have it too.
Yeah, like my relative (and many others I've known) who let all three of them sit on their ass at home (working and not working) in SEVERAL of his homes (four homes at last count) because he 'didn't want them to have student loans', and allowed them the luxury of saving up for a house down payment, so they NEVER had to move into an apartment and experience the absolute hell we did? Yeah. And then all these people say is 'I'm soooo grateful' online (never heard them say thank you in person for all of this luxury), and daddy accepts it? Ha! My parent literally laughed and said 'I am laughing at the concept', when told about the three new cars and all the things they got. I was told he gave all three of them NEW cars, too. Whether they paid it back after continuing to get entitlements into their late 20's- age 30 is anyone's guess. Anyone can save up $13000 or more when they are working steadily, getting free room and board, etc etc! You know how long it would take me to save $13k now at the current job, with bills and college? 13 years.
I am all about helping, having been through the endless struggles, but not for someone who sits at home unemployed year after year, having sex, procreating and playing video games all day. No way.
Amazing isn't it? I did the same thing you did. Of course that was 20 some years ago, different world.
Now it's "I want it and I want it now". I don't like my job so I will just quit.
I have a friend whose 27 year old daughter is getting married, the girl is put out that the father won't pay for a big wedding, she has been living with the guy for 5 years, between the two of them they make in the six figures, but daddy should pay for a fancy wedding.....LOL.
The entitlement today is mind boggling.
HA! Mine, in 1965, paid for her own wedding, and the day I would ever take one penny to pay for my wedding! I even said I don't care about any wedding gifts! I have seen this, too, with people that make a good income! They have the nerve to move back in with parents or continue to live there when they have sufficient income?! When you have a good paying job, get the hell out and pay your own rent! Do mommy and daddy continue to interfere in their lives after marriage? I am guessing yes, and they live their entire lives and spoiled, entitled brats. Truth. Their way (entitlement) is the right way. Silly all of us! Doing things on our own and suffering ! The entitlement only exists because their family is allowing it. And again, the entitled tend to do very well financially, because they won't accept a low paying job or any type of struggle at all.
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I even said I don't care about any wedding gifts! I have seen this, too, with people that make a good income! They have the nerve to move back in with parents or continue to live there when they have sufficient income?! When you have a good paying job, get the hell out and pay your own rent! Do mommy and daddy continue to interfere in their lives after marriage? I am guessing yes, and they live their entire lives and spoiled, entitled brats. Truth. Their way (entitlement) is the right way. Silly all of us! Doing things on our own and suffering ! The entitlement only exists because their family is allowing it. And again, the entitled tend to do very well financially, because they won't accept a low paying job or any type of struggle at all.
