Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie
My parents helped with college expenses(they had 7 kids), my husband and I paid the way for our 3 to get their undergrad degrees. The eldest paid for his Masters and the youngest is currently working towards his PhD in a fully funded program. They made the most of the opportunities they had, and we don't regret being able to give them that.
Not every kid has the same good fortune, but that's life. It does no good to seethe at those from your generation that haven't shared your struggles. Be proud of what you've done for yourself. My kids aren't slackers because they didn't pay for their schooling, or because they still have rooms available in our home.
They're nice men, who we enjoy having around. I didn't give birth just to wash my hands of them at 18, and the one who still lives here is smart enough to realize he's better off living here and saving money than moving out just because he's of a certain age.
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Lol! Excuse me? The only ones 'seething' are the parents who don't/didn't let their adult kids live at home. You need to address your opinions to them. Merely repeating their feelings/choices, and what they have said and continue to say on this subject. Wealthy parents do not always pay for college and room and board and cars and all expenses- period. The ones who seem resentful are people I know who worked or are working full time while attending college full time in order to keep their housing and pay bills, often doing it on 3 hours of sleep day after day for two-four years (has anyone read those stories? There are quite a few of them). I did not experience that for two years or more.. they did.
The subject of response was adult children who feel entitled to being financially supported. Your initial post/posts were not read.
How you live is your choice. It is not the choice of everyone, and no one is entitled (key word: entitled) to having someone else pay for their education in addition to housing, food, car, etc.
My father worked his way through college on a co-op program (which takes 5 years to get a bachelor's) while living at home until the day he married at age 23. He also said he paid his father back for the college education money he was given. That is the difference. My parent said 'Ha! I am laughing at the concept!' when they were told of parents who pay for everything, including college, bills, new (not used) cars, while the adult lives at home year after year.
This was the response when the parents' own relatives were doing things like paying for three new cars for the adult children, in addition to paying their 3 college tuitions up front (because he didn't want them to have loans, which some of the adult children contributed to through scholarship and under- $10- an -hour jobs) all while the three adult children lived at home (including moving with parents to the parent's new home) on top of that. Saving money from when they worked made it much easier on them financially when they finally moved out, which most of them did not until they were married.
They never had to experience living in a hovel or an apartment, and they were in for a very rude awakening when one of them said "The owner (of the place her husband was briefly renting after marriage) just walked right in to fix the refrigerator!" Uh, yeah.. it's HIS house.
Did you read the responses from people saying that some people don't have the luxury of quitting their job?
The ones that, in addition to paying for college while they lived at home and were given 3 new cars, gave, and continues to give, financial assistance on their adult children's own private home (someone who "is a grown man", another quote from other people, in their 20's who was unemployed , finally got their first job in their 20's, had never worked before in their lives, and got a new home mortgage after living at home their entire lives, courtesy of their father. I have seen several examples like that, and not many unemployed people who had one job in their life can afford to buy a house). We were told growing up 'If you work and live at home, you pay rent'. That is another direct quote from many parents (have you read the other responses here?)
And my great grandfather supported 7 children on a cook's salary back in the 1920's. Why did you respond (and continue to respond) to this post? You aren't changing anyone's opinions or the choices of millions of parents who chose not to pay for housing or college or both. We were not addressing you in particular. We are not addressing you, and actually we never read your original posts.)
I would rather give my money to the deserving single parents, or to those who overcame great obstacles, or to excellent students constantly struggling in poverty with no place to live, or to those who need first and last month's rent in order to keep their jobs and go to college.
Better off living here saving money.. "Yeah, right, for how long"? several parents seethed and growled in response when I told them the opinion of parents who say he/she is saving money by living here.. and frankly, we (and they) don't care what other families do (as these particular parents (over 20 of them) 'seethed' and spent the entire 1990's putting down, criticizing, growling, shouting, and sneering to me about my generation x'r friends or associates who lived at home or never left home until they were 25-30+, or married. The seethers are people born 1930's-1950's that worked and paid room and board to live at home and 'save money' after age 18 . "Wouldn't everyone like the luxury of being able to save money?" is what many people have said to me.
We had that opportunity, also, but we were subsidized or helped financially to have our own apartment/house rental, and we also worked from the time we were 16-18 years old. We did not live 'at home'.
And the people I know paid the money back or offered to pay it back. The difference is we recognize it as a luxury , not an entitlement. The people posting here who paid their own way through college (and many have posted saying this) have mentioned that they are much better off and can be prouder of being an adult and doing it on their own.
And some women want to stay little babies forever, too, and get told what to do and yelled at by their husbands for spending money in exchange for the luxury of being 'stay-at-home mom's' 30-40 years after their children are grown, not contributing financially and having someone else pay their bills all their adult lives while they refuse to get on a payroll, trading one daddy for another when they get married. Other women are very independent and have too much self-respect to be treated like a child and accept any money from a man/husband that they themselves didn't earn.
Why are you responding to this? I was not speaking or responding to you. It is many people's opinion that this 'staying home' is usually done for the parent's wants, not the adult children. We are not reading your entire responses, because it sounds like you are addressing them to the wrong person/people. Go tell it to the parents that wouldn't pay, or to the tens of thousands (maybe millions) of parents who don't feel they should have to pay for their adult children's basic needs or college education. We don't have any children, so you are wasting your time telling us.
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