How to convince my parents I want to quit my job. (spouse, divorced)
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I talked to my dad yesterday. He said that he doesn't want me to quit my job because there will be a gap in my resume. Therefore it will take a longer time to find a job.
So all of you who thought that it's because I was being self-centered and selfish need to go rethink your analytical skills. All I said was "my parents yelled at me that they don't want me to quit." But, you guys made your own reasons. Man, if this was an English class, all of you would FAIL.
But you are self-centered/selfish, you've proven that that your thought process in this thread.
You said in the OP that your parents shouted at you but failed to disclosed what they were shouting about. You didn't even explain their reasoning until waaaay later and even then it was like a footnote.
As a parent, my positioning would be the same as Mattie's. I'd take in my children if they needed a place during a transition phrase. However, if my children were to be snotty and petulant like the way the OP's being, I'd just as well reverse my position. Who the heck wants to be around that?
As an employer, gaps in a resume do not bother me if I see the applicant used that time to further their education and improve their skill set.
I would agree that trying to work a full-time job and going to school to support a career change could be difficult. Others have done so, but it doesn't seem as though you are motivated to stick it out, in the meantime. That doesn't mean you can't get another part-time job somewhere, that would at least supplement your income while you are concentrating on school. That is, unless the thought of a part-time job is not something you can stomach (and I'm guessing, it's not).
In addition, you could take on a roommate to help reduce costs. I've seen others suggest this, but have yet to see a response to this idea. My guess is, you simply want out of Atlanta, so there is no thought of doing anything to extend your stay.
Who says you can't move back home and get an apartment of your own? Why do you have to move in with the parents? If you are comfortable with the area, get a low-cost apartment (or get a roommate) and head back to school. If the parents are only there for moral support, then they can do that without you staying with them.
Final note - it is very likely the issues you are having at work now will follow you. You'll find that moving from job-to-job may change the names, but most of the personalities will be there, no matter where you go. You may think going into a different field will help, but unless you find a way to interact with people you don't necessarily like, you are going to be constantly chasing new jobs, hoping for that elusive perfect storm.
So OP, I am thinking about making a change in my life. I want to do something different because my job just is not exciting anymore. My wife and kids are fine with it and they will stay at the house while I go and follow my dream. My parents live in a nice home with an extra room so I am thinking of moving in with them. They are retired now but are doing well. I am sure they would not mind.
Because I have a MBA I will only need to go to school for maybe 6 months to complete this one certification I want to get. I have the funds to support myself. I am almost positive I can be in and out within 6 months, get a new job, and move back with my wife and kids. So what do you think? I know I am an adult and just turned 50 and all, but this should not be a problem, like you I don't see myself as old. I am good shape, work out, take care of my body and mind. My parents are in good shape, take care of themselves and I am positive wont mind me staying with them for about 6 months while I get this new certification.
History lesson for you. I was born in what is historically the middle of the baby boom. I finished graduate school when Gerald Ford was president. Do you know the overarching problem of the day in his time in office? THE ECONOMY. Inflation was rampant. Gasoline was at historically high prices. The cost of rent and food skyrocketed in a short period of time. It was very difficult to find a job that paid a decent wage.
The administration's solution to these economic woes was a program called Whip Inflation Now. They blanketed the country with "WIN" stickers and buttons to remind Americans that it was up to them to undertake voluntary measures to help fix the problem. Kind of hard for someone who was unemployed. People wore the buttons upside down so they read NIM and said it stood for Need Immediate Money.
So how do you figure your problems are so much worse than mine were? When I finally got a job, my starting salary was $7,500 a year. That would be the equivalent of about $30,000 now. Is that a salary you would covet if you were in your late twenties and had a master's degree?
Um, yeah.
Abso-effin-lutely. There are tons of people my age that have Masters Degrees that don't make that much.
Also, your real COL was much lower in the late 1970's than mine is now. What were your student loan payments?
And, if you read my other posts, you would see that I sort of addressed this.
I am 26 years old and I am a Java programmer in Atlanta. My hometown is Dallas TX. I do not have a family that depends on me.
So the first reason:
I moved to Atlanta on May 6th and since then it has been a series of bad events. First my roommate was such an ass*ole to a point where I had to move out and pay 2 rents at once for one month. My knee got hyperextended and I was on crutches for 2 months straight. Then I have some crappy coworkers at work which brings me to my 2nd reason.
Second reason:
I hate programming. I gave it a shot for 3 years and found out it's not for me. I hate logic puzzles and sitting behind a computer and researching code all day. I hate my job and I hate my coworkers. I had a phone interview where they asked me basic java questions and I answered all of them flawlessly. There were no "share your screen and code" questions at all. So my intermediate developer (he is not my boss) emailed me programming interview questions 4 months after the interview and 3 1/2 months after I got the job to "prove myself." and he also said in front of the director and a couple other managers that "I do not know ****." I have never worked with him before and he is in no position to say that and that was very unprofessional. So I told my boss about those two instances and she said she will deal with it accordingly.
The next morning I need help on some code so I asked some people and they said they will not help and that I have to figure it out on my own. It is like a frat-boy atmosphere here. When you tell your boss about someone's un-professionalism, his friends will also not like you.
Did I also say that I absolutely dread programming? I hate java, I hate Apache Camel, I hate spring. I hate everything about it. I am more of a social guy so therefore I like to be talking to people rather than sitting behind a computer and research/type code.
I want to learn SAP because it is a functional role rather than a technical role. I feel like I can thrive in that technology. I have found some training places where they will train you in SAP and look for a job for you.
I called my parents today and they just shouted at me today. I so want to just put in my two weeks notice in on Monday. How can I tell them that I am sick and tired of programming and want to do something different?
Thanks
I agree with the person who said do it without moving home!!! Every major and career should require job shadowing so a person knows the day-to-day of the actual occupation before getting a degree or majoring in it. I never understand all these people that spend years and years in college only to get into their chosen field and find out that they hate it! Isn't java part of the program learned during the certification? If it's not the atmosphere (which by the #2 it sounds like it may be partially the atmosphere at that particular place,and not the work ) but the actual work itself, did they not recognize that when they were in college or getting a certification? Just everybody realize that , whatever program you are in at college or elsewhere, they are going to tell you how great and wonderful it is. It is up to every individual to go to a workplace in their chosen field to see the reality of what the daily work is like.
One of the MAJOR differences (and there are many) between a classroom atmosphere and the workplace is.. people are often not so willing to help you learn the job as they are in college. I give kudos to anyone who moved away and tried something, as most people are too afraid to move away for a job, bottom line. As for the other part, I don't call people that shout at me.
You are an adult, yes? You can do what you want regardless of what your parents think. Unless they are paying your rent. Are they? Can you afford to live without working? If you can't then you need to find something else before putting in your two weeks. Yes, it is bad and you are at your wits end but don't mess it all up because of that. Think it through and get something else lined up. You say you would like to do SAP, can you stay at this job until you have learned that and gotten a job doing that? I don't see how what your parents want or think should matter to you unless they are paying for your bills. As long as you have another job and aren't a deadbeat then they should be satisfied. It will be easier telling them once you have something else lined up. And if they still aren't happy then I would call them once a month to check in and thats it. As an adult you can choose how much interaction you have with people and if they aren't going to support you then you need to limit it.
Even people that aren't paying your bills give their opinion.. Landlords come to mind.
You're 26, so do what other grown ups do - get whatever training you need during the evenings/weekends, and stay at your job until you have another lined up (in writing).
Sorry, but if my 26 year old kid said he didn't like his job and was moving home, I'd yell too. Their job is done; they've raised you. The flip side is, support yourself and they have no right to an opinion on what you do for a living.
When you're over 18, they aren't your kid.. they are an adult child. Yelling is never respectful when anyone does it. If a person is not being respected, they need to separate themselves from the disrespectful people and find help elsewhere, if help is needed. Not everyone can do what every other person does. I know people who worked full time while going to college full time at the same time. I also know others who could not handle that. Most 'grown ups' get married, quit their jobs, and become stay at home mom's or have a dual income. It is 100,000,000 times more difficult for single people. Getting a job 'in writing' is nearly impossible today, although I did. It is usually a sign of a good job vs. a job not worth your time and effort.
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