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But would you pick up a 7 layer burrito on the way. Sure it's "vegetarian" but.... I understand bringing something rather than break a diet (whether allergy related or preference) but wouldn't you bring enough for all and forgo fast food?
Maybe it was a last minute thing. The step daughter was hungry on the way over, knew she wouldn't be eating there, so decided to stop and get something. She was already late (for who knows what reason), so didn't really have time to whip something up for everyone.
I'd rather a guest just bring something to eat rather then have them sit there hungry and not enjoying themselves.
We have relatives that are vegetarians...and I always make sure to have plenty of choices for them...if it was my step-daughter and I knew before hand that she didn't like ham knowing me I would have made small turkey breast or something for her...but I don't agree with her bringing the taco bell...lol...she could have eaten it in the car...
Stepdaughter's behavior is unpredictable and not what most of us would consider good manners. And there isn't good communication going on. I can see how that puts the OP in a difficult spot. In my family no one would have thought twice about telling a close family member to move to a different spot if that's what they needed to do.
There have been holiday dinners where I, as an attending guest in someone's home, was directed where to sit. And I sat where I was asked to sit. When not directed to a specific spot, then I've taken a seat not at the head of any table nor nearest the kitchen but somewhere not in anyone's way. I've certainly never brought my own meal or part of a meal or fast food, the only time I've seen that happen is during a potluck, not a family holiday dinner. And because I make a mean mile high apple pie, I usually bring that which is enough to serve 8 to 10 people.
Maybe it was a last minute thing. The step daughter was hungry on the way over, knew she wouldn't be eating there, so decided to stop and get something. She was already late (for who knows what reason), so didn't really have time to whip something up for everyone.
I'd rather a guest just bring something to eat rather then have them sit there hungry and not enjoying themselves.
I'd say it is rude to bring it in. Why wouldn't you just eat it in the car? I don't want anyone to go hungry but it's not like she was going to starve. I usually make a couple dishes for every one's taste. I hate ham so wouldn't be making that anyway but bringing in taco bell in front of everyone screams being rude on purpose. There have been times when I knew that dinner would be inadequate or they aren't great cooks so we indulged at home before going there or stopped on the way. However, they never knew about it. I find that really rude when being served by others.
I agree that bringing Taco Bell was obnoxious. My uncle's family used to do that on the way in to Grandma's quite a bit. They were also typically late and occasionally flaked out altogether. Obnoxious, definitely. But nothing to get so worked up over. The chair issue is on the OP and her husband, and I definitely think there was some passive-aggressiveness going on. It doesn't sound like the kitchen island was set for six, while the smaller table was set for four. This was a "grab a plate and sit" kind of meal. No problem with that ... I have a big family and there were plenty of holidays where we ate on the couch, at the coffee table, on TV trays, perched on the hearth, at the kitchen island, at the kitchen table, at the long dining table--heck, even outside on the patio when the weather was nice. It also sounds like it didn't occur to the OP that her stepdaughter would probably prefer to sit with her father and grandparents, instead of the little kids she doesn't have a relationship with. Another idea is for the OP and her husband to sit with the kids while her stepdaughter and fiance sit with Grandma and Grandpa. Mom or Dad should be tending to the two-year-old anyway. And there's a stepbrother too? Great, he can sit with Gram & Gramps as well, because the table seats five.
I'd say it is rude to bring it in. Why wouldn't you just eat it in the car? I don't want anyone to go hungry but it's not like she was going to starve. I usually make a couple dishes for every one's taste. I hate ham so wouldn't be making that anyway but bringing in taco bell in front of everyone screams being rude on purpose.
Then they would have been running even later, and the OP would have still been upset. Besides, some people don't like to eat in their car. Or maybe since it is also her father's house (despite what the OP seems to think), she felt comfortable with bringing food into the house.
Of course we don't know the step daughters side of the story, but there are plenty of reasons for her to eat her food inside beside "being rude on purpose"
Due to severe weather/flooding, we had our family Xmas gathering yesterday at our house. Not a big group, just my husband, me our 3 kids still at home, hubs' adult son & daughter & daughter's fiancé, and hubs' parents. I did the majority of the cooking...side dishes, bread, a cake. My MIL brought the ham, fruit salad, and a ton of assorted homemade sweets.
My step-daughter & fiancé were late but on their way so we went ahead and set all food out, buffet style. When they arrived, we saw they had made a pit stop. At Taco Bell. She isn't a kid, she's a 22 yr old engaged woman and she brought a sack of Taco Bell to the family Christmas dinner because " she doesn't like ham". (Not a religious thing, just preference). Ham was only 1 item out of probably 10 dishes. Her fiancé ate what we had, she was the only one who didn't. And to make matters worse....there wasn't enough of us to use the dining by room, so we decided to all sit in the kitchen. We have a small kitchen table that seats 4-5, and a huge island that can seat 4-6. My inlaws got their plates first and sat at the table, of course. My husband joined them while I was getting the younger kids situated at the island. Step-daughter & fiancé arrived and she plopped her Taco Bell sack down at the last place available at the table and pulled up an extra chair for her fiancé, leaving me, the hostess, without a seat at the table. Sort of, adding insult to injury.
Am I being too sensitive, or was this extremely rude? I did say something about the Taco Bell. I did it in a joking way, but I said "I can't believe you brought Taco Bell when your grandmother & I made all this homemade food." She said "well, I didn't know what else you were having besides ham and I don't like ham." Where I'm from, if someone is feeding you, you find something to eat & say thank you. If you're hungry when you leave, THEN you get something else on your way home! You don't bring your own bag of fast food. And the take the hostess' seat at the table. She's not a picky 7 yr old, she's an engaged "woman".
How would you have handle this & what would you do going forward?
She is an engaged child. I have one. Taco Bell? Good luck to the fool marrying her.
Have a nice talk with her next year. If she ever has a dinner at her house stop and get a bag of burgers for yourself. and make a show of it, including showing up late.
Yeah, I am big on revenge as far as that behavior is concerned.
you honestly think I put this much thought into it?
No. Not at all. What we're all wondering is whether this scene from your ongoing family drama sprang bit by bit from your unconscious, the source of what the character played by you really wanted to see happen.
I would ordinarily say "just kidding," but I'm not sure I am just kidding. I wish I could call Taco Belle as a witness. I would begin by questioning her about her feelings towards ham.
Could be the OP and Taco Belle are 2 peas in a pod...
...like two beans in a burrito....
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