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Dishes: DH helped me gather plates & I rinsed them off & put them in the dishwasher. We ran it later after everyone had left.
I wrapped up our dishes of left-overs & put them in the fridge. DH was in the family room talking with everyone while I did this. But our kitchen is open to family room, so I wasn't cut out of conversation or anything. When I was done & joined the rest, we opened presents.
Does anyone have a problem with the way that was handled? Lol. Do I need to describe seating arrangements in the family room during gift exchange?
You can bet step daughter didn't do the dishes as she didn't use any. Although her fiance did use the dishes... But only a monster would make her fiance do dishes at her father's... oh wait... maybe he did.
Her actual son, the 2-1/2 year old. Taco Belle has come up with a version of his name that apparently sounds "black." It may have to do with an initialism, but don't quote me on that.
Lots of black people are named James, so maybe she didn't even have to come up with a particular version.
And James Taylor, who by the way is NOT black, in spite of being named James, has a really awesome song about Sweet Baby James. But I don't think the step daughter has that song in mind when she makes racist jokes involving a two year old.
All of this is very strange indeed. It reminds me of two white guys I know - who both have names that "sound black." Or could "sound black," I guess. They own a mortgage company together and whenever I refer customers to them, I wonder if the customers think, "My, but these names sound black. Or blackish." I have to resist the temptation to say, "Their names are _____ and _____ and believe it or not, they are two of the whitest guys I know." But that would sound weird, so I don't say it.
delicate question, and one we have not explored yet, though i can't imagine why because we are very thorough, even to the point of exploring details that are not even there
has the step son....ever dated? is it a sensitive topic? is he a late bloomer?
He has dates but no one serious enough to bring to Xmas dinner, apparently.
[quote=TN2HSV;42430730]Dishes: DH helped me gather plates & I rinsed them off & put them in the dishwasher. We ran it later after everyone had left.
I wrapped up our dishes of left-overs & put them in the fridge. DH was in the family room talking with everyone while I did this. But our kitchen is open to family room, so I wasn't cut out of conversation or anything. When I was done & joined the rest, we opened presents.
Does anyone have a problem with the way that was handled? Lol. Do I need to describe seating arrangements in the family room during gift exchange?[/quote]
This attitude does not serve many well and can be the cause of much unnecessary dramatics.
OP, this Taco Belle doesn't like you. She resents you. She thinks you took her dad away. She thinks you hurt her own mother.
She is wrong. But she will probably always be loyal to her own biological mother, not you. She is probably immature, hurt, torn, angry, and somewhat unhappy.
Yes, she is lashing out at you--and in ways that are somewhat sneaky so she can hurt you but it won't be that obvious to others. You can't explain it to others because it's a pattern of sneaky, mean behaviors. She thinks you are the wicked step-mother. I don't know what you can do but you'll only confirm her suspicions if you react badly. TRY to let it roll like water off a duck's back. Maybe you could ask your MIL for advice--she is the girl's own grandmother and she might have a talk with the girl.
Your husband is torn between you and his daughter so he doesn't want to get caught in the middle. But the MIL is HIS mother and the GIRL'S grandmother. Talk to her. Stop being offended and know that when you act angry and offended, you are playing directly into Taco's hands. Get the grandmother on your side to help with the step daughter. She ate HAM at her grandmother's --grandma is key here.
I guess we have different thoughts on what is passive aggressive. To me, not having enough chairs for step daughter and her fiance and expecting them to wait for others to eat before they could eat... all because they were late and didn't plan ahead is pretty passive aggressive.
My understanding is there were 10 seats for 10 people. The latecomers, Miss Taco Belle & Company, had the 2 counter seats available to them but Miss Taco Belle decided to grab the table seat previously occupied by StepMom and grab one of the other seats for her fiancee. There were enough seats and the first come, first serve rule should have been in effect. I don't see any P/A in OP's actions.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sundaydrive00
I hope you weren't one complaining about people's lack of reading comprehension. Her husband's son was there, yes, but the husband's daughter was also there with her fiance.
The ten people at dinner were:
OP
OP's husband
step son
step daughter
step daughter's fiance
2 year old James
12 year old daughter
14 year old daughter
Husband's mother
Husband's father
The Step son did not have a wife/girl friend at dinner.
I see that now. I didn't complain about comprehension but I believe I did say something about people not being able to picture the circumstances.... as you see above. Having 10 seats for 10 people is perfect, even if 2 of them is not where SD wanted to be. The only flaw was there wasn't 7 seats at the table.
delicate question, and one we have not explored yet, though i can't imagine why because we are very thorough, even to the point of exploring details that are not even there
has the step son....ever dated? is it a sensitive topic? is he a late bloomer?
I can't rep you again but this is a relevant part of the story. Also would SS's SO bring Taco Bell or Jack in the box?
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--grandma is key here.
