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In honor of this thread, I just ate Moons Over My Hammy at my local Denny's and it was da bomb. The piles of shaved ham were coupled with scrambled eggs and American cheese, squeezed between two large pieces of almost-burned sourdough toast. Served with buttery grits on the side, and a steaming cup of black coffee that I named James (not Joe).
She should had told you that she didn't like ham. Bad communicating skill coming from her. She wasted all that money on Taco Bell foods when she should got it for cheaper to buy Turkey meat or other side dish at the grocery store. You should write her a letter and tell her that "Taco Bell" dinner won't be very appropriate for Christmas dinner next year.
I plan on making a big joke out of it as others have suggested. DH's family likes to use humor to deal with things, so I'm going to follow their lead. Next time she asks if she & fiancé can come over for dinner (this has happened more than once & of course they're always welcome), I'll tell her to bring Taco Bell for everyone. When anyone asks what we're doing for XYZ holiday, I'm gonna say "I think Bella should bring Taco Bell for everyone!" Taco Bell gift cards for birthdays, wedding presents, Etc, etc. gonna have fun with it and never let her live it down!!!
In honor of this thread, I just ate Moons Over My Hammy at my local Denny's and it was da bomb. The piles of shaved ham were coupled with scrambled eggs and American cheese, squeezed between two large pieces of almost-burned sourdough toast. Served with buttery grits on the side, and a steaming cup of black coffee that I named James (not Joe).
Sounds heavenly! I'm about to have some of that delicious leftover Honeybaked Ham my MIL gave us for breakfast, myself!
You know what they say.....once you go Honeybaked, you never go back!!!
I plan on making a big joke out of it as others have suggested. DH's family likes to use humor to deal with things, so I'm going to follow their lead. Next time she asks if she & fiancé can come over for dinner (this has happened more than once & of course they're always welcome), I'll tell her to bring Taco Bell for everyone. When anyone asks what we're doing for XYZ holiday, I'm gonna say "I think Bella should bring Taco Bell for everyone!" Taco Bell gift cards for birthdays, wedding presents, Etc, etc. gonna have fun with it and never let her live it down!!!
Right that is a good idea lol. She can spend her money and bring Taco bell dinner for everyone. I think she wouldn't like that cause it would be too much money to spend for all of those family members. I don't know how much people spend on foods during the Thanksgiving and Christmas holiday but I am sure that Taco Bell dinner would be more expensive to buy lol.
This sums it all up in one sentence: you don't consider her your child.
I'm sure your husband really appreciates that. (Not.)
Why would she?
I am just wondering why you (or anyone else -- not just "picking" on you) would think that a step "child" (the OP said that the girl was 17 when they married) and who never lived with the stepmother would say that the stepmother was wrong in thinking that the girl was not her child?
In other words, in this specific case, why would or should the OP consider the stepdaughter to be her child?
P.S. Of course, I am not saying that this excuses bad behavior of any sort on the part of the stepparent! (Not that I think the OP behaved badly.)
Last edited by katharsis; 12-29-2015 at 08:34 AM..
I am just wondering why you (or anyone else -- not just "picking" on you) would think that a step "child" (the OP said that the girl was 17 when they married) and who never lived with the stepmother would be wrong in thinking that the girl was not her child?
In other words, why would or should the OP consider the stepdaughter to be her child in this case?
Because those children no matter the age, are the spawn of her husband. There is no other way of looking at it, IMHO.
Then again, maybe that's why my marriage to a formerly single father has worked all these years, and many others don't.
Oh I don't know - I never tried to be a mother to my step son, who was 11 when my husband and I got married. Every case is different though, and the thing is, my stepson didn't need another mother - he has a mother, who is very involved in his life. What he needed was someone he could trust to treat him fairly and kindly - a good role model, someone who could be a good wife to his deserving dad, someone who could show him a healthy way to communicate, two people who could live a good example of marriage and communication and joy together - joy that he was included in.
So I never have tried to be a mother to him. In fact, I've played up the whole "Evil Stepmother" thing as I've mentioned earlier in the thread, and he has seemed to really enjoy that and get a kick out of it all these years.
That doesn't mean I haven't been maternal toward him, because I have. But he's always called me by my first name rather than Mom, and I've always been fine with that. In fact, I've gone so far as to instigate a conversation with his mother, making it very clear that I was NOT trying to be his Mom - that I know he already has one and doesn't need two of them.
But what I haven't done is treat him differently from my other kids or interfered with his relationship with his dad either. They get presents, he gets presents. My kids went on vacation with me when they were growing up - he went on vacation with us when he was growing up. He and his dad were used to doing "man things" by themselves before I came along - they still get that time together without me interfering. He was here before I was - he will always be his dad's son and their relationship is precious. I will do NOTHING to interfere with that and I will always treat him with the same respect and appreciation and affection I show my other adult kids. I don't have to be his mom to do that. I just have to be his friend and a good wife to his dad.
She IS my daughter....my step-daughter. She has a mother. I'm her STEP mother. It just is what it is.
It would probably be different if she were a lot younger when we married & spent more time with us. But she was 17 (or maybe 18), a senior in HS, had her own car, and pretty much did whatever she wanted to do, which was hang out with friends/boyfriend. I mean, what 17/18 yr old wants to go hang out with their parent & new step-parent? So most of my interaction with her has been limited to holidays & brief stop-by visits when she was on her way to/from something else. We had been married about 6 months when she moved off to college, so then the visits became even MORE limited. So, it's not that I've chosen to not have a good relationship with her; there just honestly hasn't been much of an opportunity to develop one.
Not only has this thread been instructional in helping all of us to be better hosts and hostesses, it has also served as a "How Not To Start A Thread On C-D" mini-course.
The next time you come here to rant, and I sincerely hope you do, I would suggest that you give us the novel. Trust me, enough of us will read it
Wishing You A Very Happy New Year!
I second this as long as you break the novel into fairly short paragraphs. Nothing turns me off faster on a forum than facing a HUGE wall of text (like 500 words or longer in one paragraph).
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