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He was talking to me because I didn't know people sold their food stamps for cash.
Before there was a card and it was paper, sometimes my parents would buy food stamps...its like investing...but for the poor. They give you $100 in food stamps, you give them $65 in cash. Immediate return...as long as your interest is actually buying food.
I think now you have to go through stores to do it
Before there was a card and it was paper, sometimes my parents would buy food stamps...its like investing...but for the poor. They give you $100 in food stamps, you give them $65 in cash. Immediate return...as long as your interest is actually buying food.
I think now you have to go through stores to do it
Before there was a card and it was paper, sometimes my parents would buy food stamps...its like investing...but for the poor. They give you $100 in food stamps, you give them $65 in cash. Immediate return...as long as your interest is actually buying food.
I think now you have to go through stores to do it
Someone I know, not well, told us a story of buying some guy's food stamp card outside of a local casino.
Okay say I do this... Would cps take my nephew from me? He thinks I'm his mom.
It sounds as if you've made the choice to continue to live the life you live, as long as you have a child to care for you temporarily. If only you could see the future. I've seen it in my sister and others: You will spend your life pretending a niece or nephew is yours, and when it's all said and done, you will be left alone. Not even a Christmas card from the child at Christmas. Because you are an AUNT. Not a mother. He has a mother. And it's not you.
If you've made up your mind, then quit being miserable about your situation. Just accept things the way they are. And accept that you'll be right where you are when you are 50 years old with bad knees who can no longer work as a cashier all day. With any luck, you'll get disability payments (which your sister will love). Your nephew will be gone. You may hear from him occasionally. Once you go into a nursing home, you will no longer hear from any of your family. Your nephew will see no point in going to that depressing place to see an aunt. I've seen all this before. It's an old story. (Ironically, you will hear from all of them more, if you become self sufficient and happy on your own. People are drawn to people like that, like moths to a flame.)
You can't change anyone else, you can only change yourself. As had been said and suggested in many of your threads, your family is toxic and you need to get out.
You need to be selfish and put yourself first for once so you can build a life.
I know you love your nephew but you are NOT helping him. And who is going to raise the baby your sister is pregnant with now?
When you're on an airplane they always tell you, if the oxygen masks drop down secure it to YOURSELF FIRST before you help your child and anyone else. The reason being, if you spend all your time helping everyone else put their mask on before you put yours on, you'll die and be unable to help anyone.
You cannot help your nephew until you help yourself first.
You're a young woman with a great heart and an amazing work ethic but you're wasting it away by staying with your family.
Have you been to social services to see what you qualify for?
It sounds as if you've made the choice to continue to live the life you live, as long as you have a child to care for you temporarily. If only you could see the future. I've seen it in my sister and others: You will spend your life pretending a niece or nephew is yours, and when it's all said and done, you will be left alone. Not even a Christmas card from the child at Christmas. Because you are an AUNT. Not a mother. He has a mother. And it's not you.
If you've made up your mind, then quit being miserable about your situation. Just accept things the way they are. And accept that you'll be right where you are when you are 50 years old with bad knees who can no longer work as a cashier all day. With any luck, you'll get disability payments (which your sister will love). Your nephew will be gone. You may hear from him occasionally. Once you go into a nursing home, you will no longer hear from any of your family. Your nephew will see no point in going to that depressing place to see an aunt. I've seen all this before. It's an old story. (Ironically, you will hear from all of them more, if you become self sufficient and happy on your own. People are drawn to people like that, like moths to a flame.)
There really isn't much choice, is there? She lives in a small North Carolina town where she works as a McDonald's cashier. North Carolina is an ACA opt-out state so she has no access to health care. Public transportation is the only way she can get around. She can't afford housing on her own so she is bunking in with her mother in what I assume is Section 8 housing. She was in an abusive relationship living with a boyfriend not too long ago and has had other abusive relationships. What a total crap hand to be dealt. Through it all, she tries to do the right thing.
It's clear to anyone that she needs to get out of that house, out of that town, and into a situation where she can better herself but that either takes money she doesn't have or a successful long term relationship she also doesn't have. Her story is very moving and I really wish there was some way I could help.
Your problem is not your brother in law. It's your mother. She doesn't take care of you or provide you with a safe place to live. She lets thieves who abuse you live in your home. No matter what she says, she doesn't love you, because her actions speak louder than her words. You are fooling yourself when you say that you can't leave because of your nephew - you're a child yourself! And if these monsters that you live with can't care for him, you'd better get him out of there, too. Only way to do that is to involve the authorities.
Whatever you do, DO NOT GET PREGNANT! You will be trapped in this situation forever if you have a baby, too. You need to take care of yourself. Honestly, if you are a minor, you would be better off in foster care. And if your mother is a substance abuser, and she allows other substance abusers to live in the home with you, then she is not a fit mother. If you went into foster care, you might have better opportunities. The state may help you to get higher education after high school. In my state, they help young people who were in foster care to go to college. So if you're a minor, you should seriously consider approaching the school social worker at your high school and telling her the whole story first thing tomorrow morning, and ask her to call DCF to come and take you to foster care, so that you can concentrate on school and your future. The ONLY way out of your miserable household is to get enough education to be able to support yourself. That's going to mean at least a two year community college certificate. Best money you can make with the least education is probably going to be a certificate in the health care fields, like respiratory therapist or Xray tech, or something like that, if you like healthcare.
You have to get out of there! And if you wait until you are 18, you will no longer be eligible for help from the state, unless, of course, you trap yourself in welfare motherhood. Hurry up! Ask for help at your school now!
Reading back, it sounds like she is no longer a minor. Daisy, you've GOT to get out of there! Get as many hours of work as you can. Open a savings account, and put your paychecks straight in there, and don't let anyone know about it. If you don't have your high school diploma, get started on getting your GED. Ask for help at the public library. Ask for help at the YMCA. Ask for help at a local church. I promise you, if you ask for help in getting an education, people will help you! You will get financial aid to help you with community college. You work hard, do well, and you will get help to get all the education you need to make yourself a better life. Education is the ONLY way out for you, and there is a LOT of help available to you, if you are willing to reach out for it. Make yourself a better life, and then you will be in a position to help your nephew.
Your problem is not your brother in law. It's your mother. She doesn't take care of you or provide you with a safe place to live. She lets thieves who abuse you live in your home. No matter what she says, she doesn't love you, because her actions speak louder than her words. You are fooling yourself when you say that you can't leave because of your nephew - you're a child yourself! And if these monsters that you live with can't care for him, you'd better get him out of there, too. Only way to do that is to involve the authorities.
Whatever you do, DO NOT GET PREGNANT! You will be trapped in this situation forever if you have a baby, too. You need to take care of yourself. Honestly, if you are a minor, you would be better off in foster care. And if your mother is a substance abuser, and she allows other substance abusers to live in the home with you, then she is not a fit mother. If you went into foster care, you might have better opportunities. The state may help you to get higher education after high school. In my state, they help young people who were in foster care to go to college. So if you're a minor, you should seriously consider approaching the school social worker at your high school and telling her the whole story first thing tomorrow morning, and ask her to call DCF to come and take you to foster care, so that you can concentrate on school and your future. The ONLY way out of your miserable household is to get enough education to be able to support yourself. That's going to mean at least a two year community college certificate. Best money you can make with the least education is probably going to be a certificate in the health care fields, like respiratory therapist or Xray tech, or something like that, if you like healthcare.
You have to get out of there! And if you wait until you are 18, you will no longer be eligible for help from the state, unless, of course, you trap yourself in welfare motherhood. Hurry up! Ask for help at your school now!
I'm 22.
I always have stuck by my mom bc I want her to love me. I try to please her and take care of her but she just doesnt like me. She used to be the best mom in the world but she changed now nothing I do is ever right and she gets drunk and screams at me. I have always taken care of her and made her good and did whatever she wanted. My sister likes me sometimes but my mom likes her best and they make fun of me and I just feel like they both dont like me. Im starting to think the right thing to do is to leave but I dont know if I could turn them in.
Heres the thing, if I leave then they won't take care of the kids. My siblings wont get fed or helped w/homework and nobody will wash their clothes or sheets. My baby nephew will sit in dirty diapers and go without eating or being held. That's what's gonna happen
Or if I turn them in my family will never forgive me. They might go to jail and the kids will go to foster care and be split up and I have been in foster care and I was better off with my mom then what I experienced. Like I still do not know what to do and I am still thinking about it but this is why its hard for me. This is my family I dont have anyone else.
I always have stuck by my mom bc I want her to love me. I try to please her and take care of her but she just doesnt like me. She used to be the best mom in the world but she changed now nothing I do is ever right and she gets drunk and screams at me. I have always taken care of her and made her good and did whatever she wanted. My sister likes me sometimes but my mom likes her best and they make fun of me and I just feel like they both dont like me. Im starting to think the right thing to do is to leave but I dont know if I could turn them in.
Heres the thing, if I leave then they won't take care of the kids. My siblings wont get fed or helped w/homework and nobody will wash their clothes or sheets. My baby nephew will sit in dirty diapers and go without eating or being held. That's what's gonna happen
Or if I turn them in my family will never forgive me. They might go to jail and the kids will go to foster care and be split up and I have been in foster care and I was better off with my mom then what I experienced. Like I still do not know what to do and I am still thinking about it but this is why its hard for me. This is my family I dont have anyone else.
If you leave they will HAVE to take care of the kids. Who takes care of them while you are working? Your mother will have to sober up, and your sister and her husband will have to get off their butts. And if they don't, then the children will be better off in foster care until you can offer them a home.
Think of the alternative. If you do nothing more than maintaining the current status quo, in 10 years, what will be different? Your sister will have more children. Your siblings will still have a drunk mother, and you will still be no more in a position to offer them a better future than you are in now.
Your sister and your mother do not have to lose their children. That is up to them. They can agree to supervision by CPS while they clean up their acts.
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