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Sorry he doesn't need an excuse and in my experience family is more trouble than they're worth, if they get upset at him over for not doing something that he dislikes I say cut them off.
Reread the OP, he doesn't have a problem with his brother, and doesn't have a problem with the future wife. He just doesn't want to bother. Hell, no one wants to bother I hate wedding and funerals and all of that crap, but you go to be polite.
That's how the world works, we sometimes do things that we don't want to do, it's called being a grown up.
I find this thread interesting in that most posters are saying that the OP should go, and that he's doing it for the people there, not for himself. When the topic of attending funerals come up (and, let's face it, attendance is also often done for the people there and not necessarily for oneself), the opposite advice is generally given.
Reread the OP, he doesn't have a problem with his brother, and doesn't have a problem with the future wife. He just doesn't want to bother. Hell, no one wants to bother I hate wedding and funerals and all of that crap, but you go to be polite.
That's how the world works, we sometimes do things that we don't want to do, it's called being a grown up.
I don't have a problem with my family either but if someone tries to make me feel bad for not doing something I don't wan't to, good riddance. No being an adult is making the best decisions for yourself regardless of who likes them, he owes no one nothing.
I find this thread interesting in that most posters are saying that the OP should go, and that he's doing it for the people there, not for himself. When the topic of attending funerals come up (and, let's face it, attendance is also often done for the people there and not necessarily for oneself), the opposite advice is generally given.
I have NOT noticed that the funeral threads contain the opposite advice of this thread.
While the funeral threads can be a bit of a mix, generally they usually have a LOT of people offering the same advice as on here: go in order to be supportive the grieving loved ones.
...being an adult is making the best decisions for yourself regardless of who likes them, he owes no one nothing.
^^^^ No, that's called being self centered, narcissistic, and a bunch of other unsavory word that I'll not mention.
You are not in this world by yourself. You have to take the feelings and needs of others into consideration if you want to have harmonious and caring relationships with others. Sometimes you have to put your desires or needs on the back burner for the sake of someone you love.
Asking questions about why he's not married, etc. is not a good enough reason to cut off his family. Sorry, people have been putting up with stuff like this forever. Mature adults do all kinds of things they don't particularly want to because it's the right thing to do. This wedding isn't about him. He has no good reason not to go, and would be fully deserving of the wrath he's likely to catch if he doesn't go. Not going, simply put, makes him a selfish jerk.
So I should just go to make everyone feel at ease and that's what adults do? I'm sorry but that's ridiculous. And that goes against my normal routine. I'm an adult and I'm allowed to make my own decisions.
You guys go to places where don't want to go . . . . you do things you don't want to do, and for what? Just to conform and please people. Sounds like a sad existence if you ask me.
So I should just go to make everyone feel at ease and that's what adults do? I'm sorry but that's ridiculous. And that goes against my normal routine. I'm an adult and I'm allowed to make my own decisions.
You guys go to places where don't want to go . . . . you do things you don't want to do, and for what? Just to conform and please people. Sounds like a sad existence if you ask me.
Yup, do things like that all the time. I give of myself. It isn't a sad existence. When you are at work, you do stuff you don't want to do don't you? Because it's your job?
I can't understand your way of thinking not doing something so simple, just because you don't want to when it can make someone else happy.
^^^^ No, that's called being self centered, narcissistic, and a bunch of other unsavory word that I'll not mention.
You are not in this world by yourself. You have to take the feelings and needs of others into consideration if you want to have harmonious and caring relationships with others. Sometimes you have to put your desires or needs on the back burner for the sake of someone you love.
My own mom didn't put down the drugs to take care of me so no Im not putting my needs on the backburner for anybody.
So I should just go to make everyone feel at ease and that's what adults do? I'm sorry but that's ridiculous. And that goes against my normal routine. I'm an adult and I'm allowed to make my own decisions.
You guys go to places where don't want to go . . . . you do things you don't want to do, and for what? Just to conform and please people. Sounds like a sad existence if you ask me.
Hey, you asked. Yes, going to a wedding maybe once a year, if that, makes my life sooo sad If you are unwilling to break your routine for your brother that you otherwise have no issue with, you have a problem. That's not normal. You came here looking for validation for behaving like a selfish child. You're not going to get it.
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I have NOT noticed that the funeral threads contain the opposite advice of this thread. 
If you are unwilling to break your routine for your brother that you otherwise have no issue with, you have a problem. That's not normal. You came here looking for validation for behaving like a selfish child. You're not going to get it.
