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So the real problem is not the wedding, but the pressure from your family to get married. That problem will persist, whether or not you go to the wedding.
It is not an uncommon problem. Google is your friend. Do a search using the words - how to respond to when are you getting married
You will see a lot of helpful articles in the search results. Read them and write down the responses which you think might work. Then use the wedding to practice some of those responses.
If you do nothing, nothing will change and you will continue to be nagged.
OP, if anyone brings that question up at the wedding, just tell them you enjoy being single and then change the subject.
OP, if anyone brings that question up at the wedding, just tell them you enjoy being single and then change the subject.
Agree, or you can just say "today is not about me, it's about my brother and his lovely bride, isn't this a wonderful day"......you shut them right down.
Or the old "why do you ask?" when someone asks you something you don't wan't to discuss is also good.
1) There is 1 main reason why I don't want to go. If I go I know my family will have some fuss about me not being married yet. I don't really get the point of marriage. They want me married just like my brother. Plus they want my wife to be from a specific culture/ethnic background. I don't get it.
2) The one thing that's making me think twice about missing this wedding is my future nieces/nephews. I'm a HUGE fan of kids. They make me laugh, HARD. And from reading the comments it sounds like I could be shut out from their lives?
You've answered our question as to why you don't want to attend. It makes you uncomfortable to face family members because you're single.
Questions for you:
1) How old are you?
2) What's your parents' country of origin?
3) If you like kids so much, is it possible that you're open to the idea of marriage and kids of your own some day down the road?
By the way, you're imagining the worse case scenario, where everyone is going to focus on you and pay attention to you. More than likely, they will be busy with other stuff at the wedding. You won't be the center of attention, at least no more so than any other person other than your brother and his soon to be wife.
You might as well know now that someone will say something at the wedding that will annoy, offend, or anger you. This is the way of family, but it's not a legitimate reason to avoid such a big occasion for your brother. Other than being on your deathbed, there really is no excuse for missing a wedding involving immediate family.
It's not about you. Stop being a jerk and get ready to go. Don't forget to take newly weds a gift.
Especially if you're close to your brother. There's really no way that you not showing up for his wedding won't be perceived as an insult and a snub and profoundly hurtful or selfish. We're not talking about you not showing up to his birthday dinner because of work or something. This is his wedding. This is an important family event, and if your family is important to you, you go.
Unless you and your brother had a huge falling out and don't get along and cannot make up in time for his big day, I don't see any actual reason to not go.
Your reasoning to me sounds very selfish. You don't have to like weddings or ever get married yourself but that doesn't mean you shouldn't ever to go them, for those you know and love who DO support the idea of getting married. No one is marrying YOU, you're just a guest. Do it for your brother and, if they're alive and you all get along, your parents and any other siblings or close family you may have. I'm sure it would mean a lot to all of them to see you there, as well.
Afterwards, contact a psychiatrist. Not because you don't want to go to a wedding, but because you have no idea why you should. You're seriously lacking in emotional intelligence, and it would be helpful for your future to find out WHY.
Agreed. Something is seriously missing in the OP's psyche if he/she can't figure out why he/she should go.
I'm a male and I don't really understand marriage/weddings. Frankly, I don't understand why people get married..
Maybe it's because of Love, but guess you can't work that out...
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