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(Made up names) Our daughter (Julie) and her fiancee (Roy) live together and are both gainfully employed and in their early twenties. They met in art school and have been together for years. I don't know if it's an art school or hipster thing but their personal hygiene is gross, especially her fiancee. He bathes maybe twice (?) a week and wears the same clothes 4-5 times before laundry is done. Even after he bathes he puts on dirty clothes. Their excuses for not doing laundry more often were they were poor and the machines in the building were always broken. I remember being a broke undergraduate/graduate student but always made sure I did my laundry and took a shower every day.
My wife has talked to our daughter about personal hygiene forever!!! While growing up, Julie would become engrossed in her drawing/painting/whatever and forget to take a nightly bath unless reminded even in high school. While visiting home on break from art school, we'd gently remind her to take a shower. She was compliant and as of late, been much better about not smelling up the house when she comes to visit.
When we go visit them (a several hour drive to the other side of the state) Roy just stinks. I can't stand it. I can't stand going in their apartment because it reeks of dirty laundry. Interestingly, their apartment is not cluttered, it's fairly neat, there's some cat hair compliments of their cat. But their bedroom is a mess of dirty laundry every time we visit.
We taught her to do her laundry when she was 10 or 11. From that time, she was responsible (as was her older sister) for doing her own laundry.
Now, as the holidays are approaching, we're going to be making plans for family to visit or us going to visit family. As much as I don't want to say it, I really don't want Julie and Roy to stay with us for several days or even a couple of days, if he doesn't bathe.
I really love these kids! They're brilliant and talented - I love Skyping with them because I can see and talk to them without having to smell Roy's awful body odor.
I'm trying to put myself in his shoes and imagine what it would feel like if his future parents in laws say to him, "Please take a shower and wear clean clothes before you visit us" or "It's really hard for me to visit you at your apartment anymore because it reeks of dirty laundry."
FYI - don't tell me to "man up" or talk to Roy "man to man" because I'm a woman legally married to my wife. My wife is the bio mom and I came into the picture when the girls were 7 & 9 years old.
The bolded is what makes me wonder about the validity of this post. If they're gainfully employed, how do they not have a few bucks to go do at least 2 small loads? Are there no laundromats where they live other than the machines in their building?
I find it hard to believe that they could smell THAT bad if they are bathing twice a week. I know everyone is different, but I would think they'd have to be vigorously exercising then not bathing to smell that bad.
(Made up names) Our daughter (Julie) and her fiancee (Roy) live together and are both gainfully employed and in their early twenties. They met in art school and have been together for years. I don't know if it's an art school or hipster thing but their personal hygiene is gross, especially her fiancee. He bathes maybe twice (?) a week and wears the same clothes 4-5 times before laundry is done. Even after he bathes he puts on dirty clothes. Their excuses for not doing laundry more often were they were poor and the machines in the building were always broken. I remember being a broke undergraduate/graduate student but always made sure I did my laundry and took a shower every day.
My wife has talked to our daughter about personal hygiene forever!!! While growing up, Julie would become engrossed in her drawing/painting/whatever and forget to take a nightly bath unless reminded even in high school. While visiting home on break from art school, we'd gently remind her to take a shower. She was compliant and as of late, been much better about not smelling up the house when she comes to visit.
When we go visit them (a several hour drive to the other side of the state) Roy just stinks. I can't stand it. I can't stand going in their apartment because it reeks of dirty laundry. Interestingly, their apartment is not cluttered, it's fairly neat, there's some cat hair compliments of their cat. But their bedroom is a mess of dirty laundry every time we visit.
We taught her to do her laundry when she was 10 or 11. From that time, she was responsible (as was her older sister) for doing her own laundry.
Now, as the holidays are approaching, we're going to be making plans for family to visit or us going to visit family. As much as I don't want to say it, I really don't want Julie and Roy to stay with us for several days or even a couple of days, if he doesn't bathe.
I really love these kids! They're brilliant and talented - I love Skyping with them because I can see and talk to them without having to smell Roy's awful body odor.
I'm trying to put myself in his shoes and imagine what it would feel like if his future parents in laws say to him, "Please take a shower and wear clean clothes before you visit us" or "It's really hard for me to visit you at your apartment anymore because it reeks of dirty laundry."
FYI - don't tell me to "man up" or talk to Roy "man to man" because I'm a woman legally married to my wife. My wife is the bio mom and I came into the picture when the girls were 7 & 9 years old.
I would just grab the hose and hose 'em down before I let 'em in the house.
Wow! 61 years on this earth, and I just learned washing machines are for clean clothes only. Who knew?
I wonder how people dealt with diapers before disposables were invented?
LOL! I thought the same thing. Seriously run the empty washer with a little detergent and bleach if you are so concerned. But I agree this is probably just another fake post. They are becoming easier and easier to spot.
LOL! I thought the same thing. Seriously run the empty washer with a little detergent and bleach if you are so concerned. But I agree this is probably just another fake post. They are becoming easier and easier to spot.
I thought the whole lesbian comment was an attempt to make the post sound more realistic too. It was a nice touch but totally unnecessary.
Does anyone think that as bohemians, they simply don't care? I know we've been raised to shower once or twice a day and to wash our hair far more than is healthy for it. Yes, I guess if they stink they must be dirty but as adults, I can't believe no one else has EVER said something to them...I think they know but they have far more important things to do.
Work around it...only eat in beer gardens or outdoor patio restaurants.
Give them a motel room when they visit. And rent a motel when you go visit them.
Oh no put their nasties in your washing machine ? No way in the green earth would I let someone put their dirtys in my washer or dryer .
So do you hand wash all your clothes before you wash them in the machine?
I guess I've been doing it all wrong...
Goodness...I always allowed my college kids to bring home their long unwashed items to launder, and I've even let guests who've stayed with me throw in a load or 2.
You know, I think I'd just say what you feel. You love these kids, and they probably know that, so just tell them. Start off by telling them you love them, then tell them what the problem is and ask them to help you find a solution. Tell them what you would like to have happen and ask them if they can accommodate your request.
This problem isn't going to solve itself, so you and your wife are going to have to take the first step.
Just tell them. But you're going to have to decide what will happen if they cannot or will not comply. You'll have to tell them about that, too. For anything to change, you're going to have to have this conversation.
Amen
No excuse for this behavior
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Their excuses for not doing laundry more often were they were poor and the machines in the building were always broken. I remember being a broke undergraduate/graduate student but always made sure I did my laundry and took a shower every day. 
