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Old 10-26-2016, 11:18 AM
 
4,422 posts, read 3,507,581 times
Reputation: 14245

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Quote:
Originally Posted by breeinmo. View Post
This thread has run off the rails. Nosy/mean posters bait an OP to divulge more information, just so they can pick each new tidbit apart. They also take a innocent sentence like the "single" one, and blow it all out of proportion and decide for themselves how the poster meant it.

I'm a widow, live alone. I can eat when I want, go where I want, go to bed when ever and have full control over the tv remote. I'm also loving, caring and unselfish. THAT is the lifestyle OP meant when she described her single friend vs her life. When I was married I had to make concessions, as did my husband on our everyday lives. Being single is not selfish, it just allows us freedom to come and go and make every day choices without a spouses input.

If the OP's husband needs anti anxiety meds, then some posters need chill pills and non-judgmental shots.
Yeah the single comment really seemed to put people on the defensive.
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Old 10-26-2016, 11:21 AM
 
1,201 posts, read 1,232,805 times
Reputation: 2244
One thing you can do. Turn off your phone tracking and only answer your phone when needed. You are enabling his terrible habit.
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Old 10-26-2016, 11:23 AM
 
Location: San Francisco
21,656 posts, read 8,810,677 times
Reputation: 65061
Quote:
Originally Posted by shortel View Post
One thing you can do. Turn off your phone tracking and only answer your phone when needed. You are enabling his terrible habit.
Yes, I said earlier in the thread that I was going to disable Find MyiPhone when I'm out and that I would ask my husband to please not call me to check my whereabouts.
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Old 10-26-2016, 11:33 AM
 
22,278 posts, read 21,838,426 times
Reputation: 54736
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bayarea4 View Post
There isn't anything I can say at this point that will appease the haters and moralists on this thread who are convinced that I'm an unhinged trauma survivor who is condescending toward singles and who is the victim of a miserably anxious stalker who might do away with himself. Holy $%#! So I'll just say thanks again for your input.
I hope you are not referring to my post, which was directed at another poster, which is why I qupted his words, not yours.

And I daresay you are exaggerating the nature of the vast majority of responses you are getting here.
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Old 10-26-2016, 12:18 PM
 
5,198 posts, read 5,300,095 times
Reputation: 13249
Quote:
Originally Posted by breeinmo. View Post
This thread has run off the rails. Nosy/mean posters bait an OP to divulge more information, just so they can pick each new tidbit apart. They also take a innocent sentence like the "single" one, and blow it all out of proportion and decide for themselves how the poster meant it.

I'm a widow, live alone. I can eat when I want, go where I want, go to bed when ever and have full control over the tv remote. I'm also loving, caring and unselfish. THAT is the lifestyle OP meant when she described her single friend vs her life. When I was married I had to make concessions, as did my husband on our everyday lives. Being single is not selfish, it just allows us freedom to come and go and make every day choices without a spouses input.

If the OP's husband needs anti anxiety meds, then some posters need chill pills and non-judgmental shots.


The OP is not a victim.


Re: the single comment, her post and yours are worlds apart. If the OP meant her post to sound the way that yours did, then she should have written it that way. You are also deciding what the OP meant, so don't act as if we are doing something that you are not.


Several people (in fact, the majority of the posters here) read the comment the same way.
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Old 10-26-2016, 12:55 PM
 
Location: San Francisco
21,656 posts, read 8,810,677 times
Reputation: 65061
Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa View Post
I hope you are not referring to my post, which was directed at another poster, which is why I qupted his words, not yours.

And I daresay you are exaggerating the nature of the vast majority of responses you are getting here.
No, I was not referring to yours or to any individual person's post, just condensing what a lot of different people said into a single sentence. All the adjectives I used - "unhinged" "miserable," "condescending" etc. etc. - were actually used in various posts to describe my situation.
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Old 10-26-2016, 12:58 PM
 
Location: San Francisco
21,656 posts, read 8,810,677 times
Reputation: 65061
Quote:
Originally Posted by mochamajesty View Post
The OP is not a victim.


Re: the single comment, her post and yours are worlds apart. If the OP meant her post to sound the way that yours did, then she should have written it that way. You are also deciding what the OP meant, so don't act as if we are doing something that you are not.


Several people (in fact, the majority of the posters here) read the comment the same way.
No, I'm not a victim, but breeinmo's post said what I meant, and very well, too.
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Old 10-26-2016, 01:37 PM
 
5,198 posts, read 5,300,095 times
Reputation: 13249
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bayarea4 View Post
No, I'm not a victim, but breeinmo's post said what I meant, and very well, too.


And that's fine. Just note that is not how your post originally came across.


I also meant what I said - you have handled this tough crowd very well.
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Old 10-26-2016, 01:49 PM
 
4,901 posts, read 8,802,803 times
Reputation: 7117
Quote:
Originally Posted by fluffythewondercat View Post
If there's one thing I've learned, it's that with anxious people you have to push back. Or they'll erode your freedom and happiness, bit by bit. And not suffer one moment of remorse for it.
Oh my gosh, this gave me chills, as I can see the truth of it from dealing with my MIL for the past decade!

My husband pushes back in a pretty healthy manner....his brother couldn't seem to do that, and she pushed and shoved and grabbed and clutched and held on as much as she possibly could and "eroded his freedom and happiness" to a huge degree.

Wow....so, so true....thanks for putting it into words so succintly.
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Old 10-26-2016, 02:24 PM
 
Location: San Francisco
21,656 posts, read 8,810,677 times
Reputation: 65061
Quote:
Originally Posted by mochamajesty View Post
And that's fine. Just note that is not how your post originally came across.


I also meant what I said - you have handled this tough crowd very well.
Thank you, mochamajesty.
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