Dinner Party Where Guests Show Up With Their Own Food (sister, spouse)
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Maybe they wanted to bring something to add to the meal... kinda like bringing desert, wine, or appetizers. It just so happen you made soup as the main course... most people don't consider soup acceptable as a main course of a dinner party so they didn't think it would be a problem.
If I had a dinner party and had planned on serving wine but my guests also brought wine, I wouldn't be insulted at all.
As a parent of children with a strict diet restrictions, it is imperative that we make our own meals for them. We do so all the time and the family is understanding of our predicament. It is not an option for us to set aside their dietary restrictions for the sake of politeness. Doing so could mean diarrhea, throwing up, shots from an epi-pen, and trips to the emergency room. We would be happy if we didn't have to deal with this crap.... but it is our reality. So understanding is the best we hope for from friends and family.
Bringing wine is a whole different thing than turning up with a pot of soup (or other dish). Expecting the hostess to accomodate an unexpected type of food at a meal without discussing the situation ahead of time is very rude. All it would have taken was a simple phone call.
My feeling is if someone has those types of food restrictions, they should STAY HOME. They should not expect a hostess to accommodate their food dislikes/allergies at a dinner party.
I was invited to a friend's house for dinner. Her elderly mother is from Cuba. They made a pork roast and black beans and rice and salad. I am a vegetarian, so I asked if there was any meat in the black beans. Her mother said in her cute little accent, "Oh noooo, there is no meat in there, just a little bacon for some flavor!"
I was fine with salad and potatoes and fried plantains, but my friend felt she had to throw together a pasta for me. It wasn't necessary. So the next time I was invited, I asked if I could bring a pasta dish, and she happily accepted. Everyone else can eat it as a side with the pig leg.
I was invited to a friend's house for dinner. Her elderly mother is from Cuba. They made a pork roast and black beans and rice and salad. I am a vegetarian, so I asked if there was any meat in the black beans. Her mother said in her cute little accent, "Oh noooo, there is no meat in there, just a little bacon for some flavor!"
I was fine with salad and potatoes and fried plantains, but my friend felt she had to throw together a pasta for me. It wasn't necessary. So the next time I was invited, I asked if I could bring a pasta dish, and she happily accepted. Everyone else can eat it as a side with the pig leg.
You handled this perfectly. I have an allergy to wheat. I just take a pass on the bread or pasta.
I find that parents tend to do this more often than not. We used to have family gathering and Mrs. Chow's brother and wife would always bring McDonalds for the kids to eat instead of what everyone else was eating.
I found it to be rude as hell and frankly, lazy parenting. The SIL is a pig in general though so her lazy parenting style is to be expected. Little surprised that her brother goes along with it. He was raised with manners, not so sure about the pig SIL, I think she was raised by wolves.
My feeling is if someone has those types of food restrictions, they should STAY HOME. They should not expect a hostess to accommodate their food dislikes/allergies at a dinner party.
So my friends and family should stay home because they have allergies or disease where they cant eat certain food. I would always accommodate them to a certain extent or they are free to bring their own food.
I find that parents tend to do this more often than not.We used to have family gathering and Mrs. Chow's brother and wife would always bring McDonalds for the kids to eat instead of what everyone else was eating.
I found it to be rude as hell and frankly, lazy parenting. The SIL is a pig in general though so her lazy parenting style is to be expected. Little surprised that her brother goes along with it. He was raised with manners, not so sure about the pig SIL, I think she was raised by wolves.
I've seen this exact phenomenon myself. My ex SIL had one child, the most spoiled little boy anyone could ever meet. The only thing he would eat for dinner is McDonalds Chicken McNuggets. My ex's large Hispanic family made a big production out of every dinner, yet they catered to this child every single day.
On her way home from work, Mom would make a pit stop at Mickey D's for those repulsive Chicken McNuggets, and he would eat those while everyone else ate what my MIL cooked. I never knew him to eat anything else for dinner the entire time we were married.
If someone brought a pot of soup to my dinner party, I'd welcome it.
But then again, I don't have dinner parties what do I know?
I would probably be the idiot bringing the giant pot of soup to the party and everyone is talking about me afterwards on City Data.
I've seen this exact phenomenon myself. My ex SIL had one child, the most spoiled little boy anyone could ever meet. The only thing he would eat for dinner is McDonalds Chicken McNuggets. My ex's large Hispanic family made a big production out of every dinner, yet they catered to this child every single day.
On her way home from work, Mom would make a pit stop at Mickey D's for those repulsive Chicken McNuggets, and he would eat those while everyone else ate what my MIL cooked. I never knew him to eat anything else for dinner the entire time we were married.
My then-husband and I were friends with a couple who had the brattiest son ever. The kid was about 4 or 5, and it was back when the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were first big.
They had us over for dinner, and I asked to be passed the salad. The host got very angry with me, glancing over at his son to see if he'd heard me. "What are you doing? You can't say salad! You have to say 'eucalyptus leaves'. If you say it's salad, he won't eat it!" He was so nasty about it.
I almost told him where he could shove his eucalyptus leaves, but I just sort of laughed and ate so as not to ruin the evening. But the kid ran that house.
I wouldn't be inviting them back for a repeat. Learn from this. Weird...
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