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People are weird. Someone brings a dish TO ADD to the dinner party and you're mad? I WISH someone would come to my dinner party and bring additional food. That's free left overs for me, SHOOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bringing wine is a whole different thing than turning up with a pot of soup (or other dish). Expecting the hostess to accomodate an unexpected type of food at a meal without discussing the situation ahead of time is very rude. All it would have taken was a simple phone call.
Perhaps it is a cultural thing. It isn't uncommon for my family to bring dishes to a family gathering which includes dinner.
At the end, it is customary to bring food home as well..... sometimes enough for the entire coming week. Its great! Good food, freshly made, from people's home recipes. Typically, there is 3x+ more food available at the party than we can all eat. The selection from various families' gracious efforts is outstanding. (We still have to cook for our young ones though)
After all, it is about the gathering of friends and family with that involves sharing one's fortunes.
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My guests are encouraged to bring food if the want to eat. I provide free beer, but we put a coin lock on the bathroom, so we usually double our investment in beer.
When I went to a Thanksgiving dinner at a friend's home, I was asked to bring my own Tupperware in which to take leftovers home. She is single and lives to cook. My hubby could not come as he was working. I still brought wine and a gift, but everyone took something home. For our crowd, it worked. We also got fresh fruit from her trees to take home. Kind of the reverse to the subject of this thread, but worth a mention.
My guests are encouraged to bring food if the want to eat. I provide free beer, but we put a coin lock on the bathroom, so we usually double our investment in beer.
LOL if ya did that would would have a lot of people peeing in your yard I would imagine
Perhaps it is a cultural thing. It isn't uncommon for my family to bring dishes to a family gathering which includes dinner.
At the end, it is customary to bring food home as well..... sometimes enough for the entire coming week. Its great! Good food, freshly made, from people's home recipes. Typically, there is 3x+ more food available at the party than we can all eat. The selection from various families' gracious efforts is outstanding. (We still have to cook for our young ones though)
After all, it is about the gathering of friends and family with that involves sharing one's fortunes.
I too.. fail to see the problem.
It is. All my family gathering work by everyone bringing food. On my hubby side when someone has a dinner only they cook. Seems like a lot of extra work for the host.
After reading a hundred messages here I can't help but wonder if the husband's relatives spoke to him about bringing some soup themselves and he just didn't think it was important enough to pass on to his wife. I mean what's another pot of soup to have along with your chips and salsa and soybeans?
I understand why this bothers the OP. It sounds like she put some real effort and work into making these soups and it wasn't appreciated by her guests. Allergies or whatever her guests were rude.
The right way to do things when asked to dinner is to always ask what you can bring and bring what the host suggests.
If you have food allergies let the host know ahead of time and work something out. For example I know someone that has to be gluten free due to an extreme allergy. She has pre packaged frozen one person meals for herself just for occasions like this and sits and eats with everyone else. To take over the whole thing because one guest has a food allergy is just wrong.
I agree with this. I would add though that if you ask what you can bring, and are told to bring nothing, do not show up with part of a meal.
It may feel rude to come empty-handed but I think it's just as rude to meddle in someone's dinner menu. That's what a hostess gift is for.
Barring any allergies/restrictions, I would also think it strange that they brought their own soup. But then I would just chalk them up to being strange people and not worry about it. More soup for you!
Something similar happened to me at Thanksgiving. I had cooked a huge family feast with all the typical traditional meats and sides (2 days in the kitchen, by myself!), keeping in mind my FIL has a nut allergy. He arrived to our house with two containers of berries, which I thought was nice to bring fruit to share. But when it came time to dish out the food (it was "serve yourself" style), he got the berries and dumped both containers onto his plate, and ate only that for his meal, with no explanation! lol
Strange, but no big deal. I didn't take it personally. In fact, I suspect he was going through some private health issues he didn't want to disclose, poor guy.
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