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I'm pretty easy going in my day-to-day life, but I would not be okay with children not making an appearance at the table unless there was an illness. For a three-year-old, I'm thinking long enough to at least sample the meal, maybe ten minutes? At that point, I would excuse the child to play, because I understand that little people really do have a problem sitting still.
I agree. I don't understand "not wanting to eat." At dinner time, we eat. When there is a group of people, and the meal is being served, we eat. I have a family member who was allowed to not order food when we would go out as a family, then everyone had to stop what they were doing an hour or 2 later when she decided she was hungry. It used to drive me nuts.
On the subject of little people and holiday meals, maybe this is something others could use to help with the issue children coming to the table. When my kids were young, my MIL started the tradition of Christmas crackers. It was always a big hit, and my nearly grown children still look forward to it. (Actually, we all do!) They loved the pop, the silly hats, and the jokes, and it gave them a reason to come to the table and engage with their sometimes intimidatingly proper grandparents. Seeing Grandmama in a silly hat always lightened the mood just enough to make the kids comfortable with the formality of the meal.
No dietary restrictions involved.. Plus if it was the case would one night partaking destroy them? Are we that delicate that we can't be polite and partake?
Have I loved every meal I was served at dinner parties? Absolutely not! But I'd never stoop so low as to bring my own meal. Anymore it seems like a hostess is running a restaurant when having dinner parties with all peoples petty dietary needs.
Lesson learned and it's best to meet in restaurants anymore.
I am vegetarian and if the host of the dinner party had not had anything I could eat before I would have to bring something for myself. Also, yes, it could destroy someone to eat something foreign to them just to be polite.
No dietary restrictions involved.. Plus if it was the case would one night partaking destroy them? Are we that delicate that we can't be polite and partake?
Have I loved every meal I was served at dinner parties? Absolutely not! But I'd never stoop so low as to bring my own meal. Anymore it seems like a hostess is running a restaurant when having dinner parties with all peoples petty dietary needs.
Lesson learned and it's best to meet in restaurants anymore.
I actually think that it's the frequency of restaurant dining that is part of the problem. It's created an expectation that one can have exactly what one wants all the time. It's one of the reasons I started cooking at home more often when my kids were in elementary school (besides the small fortune taking our family out to eat was costing). I realized that I was creating ungrateful little monsters who had little regard for the time and energy it takes to prepare meals for others. That and having them cook a dinner for the family every week turned their "the world revolves around me" attitude around pretty quickly.
No dietary restrictions involved.. Plus if it was the case would one night partaking destroy them? Are we that delicate that we can't be polite and partake?
Have I loved every meal I was served at dinner parties? Absolutely not! But I'd never stoop so low as to bring my own meal. Anymore it seems like a hostess is running a restaurant when having dinner parties with all peoples petty dietary needs.
Lesson learned and it's best to meet in restaurants anymore.
You're VERY insensitive to other's dietary needs. Yes, in many instances "One night partaking" WOULD "destroy" them. You're lucky not to have food allergies or children with same.
When a legitimate food allergy exists, then the person with the allergy has a responsibility to inform others of the risks and to work with the hostess to make the appropriate arrangements. A good hostess will be happy to accommodate those limitations; nobody wants a guest to end up hospitalized. But just showing up with your own food is blatantly rude, and the OP has already mentioned that there were no food restrictions involved in the situation she recounted.
Has anyone ever invited family over dinner and they brought their own food? They weren't asked in advance either.
I had never had this happen to me and I'd never think of doing it either. I make some wonderful soup (broth based such as Chicken noodle, minestrone for example). However for this particular dish, a cream based soup is needed because it was placed in sourdough bread bowls and it would not absorb the all the broth. We served Clam Chowder and Tomato Bisque Soup in Bread Bowls which is traditionally served in bread bowls.
I was insulted when they walked in with their pot of soup...Then my spouse chose to eat theirs too!
It was funny when I looked over and ALL the water was absorbed in the bowl and all that was left was carrots, potatoes, and chicken chunks..
I would encourage people not to do this. It's very insulting to the host or hostess.
First, are you sure they weren't just bringing a contribution to the dinner and not just food for them? It sounds like they offered it to everyone. Second, my niece did this too, when they discovered her 5 year old had a severe gluten allergy. He couldn't eat most of the things we usually had at family dinners and they didn't want to put us out by requesting special things or just saying "He can't eat this, he can't eat that".
She and her husband would eat some of his too if he wanted, so he didn't feel like he was the only one eating something different.
I would give them the benefit of the doubt, I highly doubt it was a message about your cooking or anything negative. I would next time though, request that they not bring food when you invite them just say "I already made enough for an army" or something light-hearted. I would be hurt if I made a special soup and no one ate it, but I really don't think they realized it might not be welcome.
When a legitimate food allergy exists, then the person with the allergy has a responsibility to inform others of the risks and to work with the hostess to make the appropriate arrangements. A good hostess will be happy to accommodate those limitations; nobody wants a guest to end up hospitalized. But just showing up with your own food is blatantly rude, and the OP has already mentioned that there were no food restrictions involved in the situation she recounted.
That she knows of... If this family member has been a pain in the past, and there are for sure no dietary restrictions, then yes, it is rude. Not the rudest thing ever, let's start a thread about it, but rude.
That she knows of... If this family member has been a pain in the past, and there are for sure no dietary restrictions, then yes, it is rude. Not the rudest thing ever, let's start a thread about it, but rude.
Yeah, I agree. If this is a family member, maybe some gentle probing about what happened is in order. I think the husband handled it beautifully. Sometimes you just have to roll with the punches in social situations.
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