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LOL, Jeez. I forget how a CD can be at times. You'd think I posted that I'm for smashing kittens and raping women based on some of the snarky mean spirited comments here.
I'm pretty sure I put in some disclaimers in my OP.
Single guys aren't less than. I did cast a sorta wide net when I made the chasing P when older comment. I admit that and frankly people can do whatever they like.
I am NOT married I DON'T have kids. I was merely noting that I think that a true family man is a great thing. I think it's a good thing for society to have strong family units. Doesn't mean I think single people are bad. Doesn't mean people can't do their own thing. Doesn't mean that anyone is less than because they aren't married with kids.
I am not married, I don't have kids. See how this works. One can make observations about others, doesn't mean you have to fit the demo.
I chose not to have kids, but I see the benefits to those men that did have kids. I can objectively see the goodness in THAT life choice. The choice I didn't make, I have no regrets for that.
If I offended I didn't mean to. If I offended it was because I made a black or white thing with the family man and a guy chasing P all day. In reality the guy chasing P is fine too, I suppose. I just find it a little shallow but again, free to have at it. I'm not stopping anyone. I get that there are groups between married people with kids and those without kids.
I had a moment of nostalgia for great families, forgive my foolishness.
I'm very disappointed in the judgement shown in this post from you. Yeah, it is a good thing when a man is committed to the family he created. But it is outrageous to assume every older guy who has chosen against having a family is out chasing kitty. One of the agencies I supported had a lot of older single guys, who weren't married because they were very dedicated to their roles in the scientific research community.
Your intent may not disrespectful but the execution makes this disrespectful.
I apologize. I did cast a wide net. You're correct.
You won't see a lot of people on this forum do what I just did. I hope you make a note it.
Please, the only people who know how stable a marriage is are the two people in the marriage.
Considering the divorce rate, people getting married or who are married isn't really making them stable.
How do you feel about men who just walk out on the family and leave the wife and kids for another woman, than try to get out of child support? I don't think too much of them.
What business is it of yours whether someone gets married or not or doesn't want kids. I say good for them, they know it's something they don't want, nothing worse than bringng a child into the world who isn't wanted.
Please yourself. You're one of the kings of negativity here, I see it, other do too.
What you're babbling on about has nothing to do with my thread premise.
I'm pretty surprised at the negativity here too. There are great family men and there are married men who are not so great. I'm proud to be a committed family man and more than a few of my friends are as well. I was appreciative of the kind words of the OP and am somewhat disheartened by some of the comments that followed. For every position in society (doctor/nurse/medic, police officer, teacher, scientist, tradesman, etc.) there are those who do what they do well and with honor and should be respected. They shouldn't be broad-brushed with the exceptions. Neither should those who are good husbands/fathers or wives/mothers. It shows bitterness and resentment.
many men who abuse consider themselves to be in a what they consider to be a "happy" marriage. it's normal for them, if not they would stop. I would not consider the marriage to be happy by any standard.
That's completely meaningless and unresponsive to my question.
You said:
many men who are happily married are abusers.
Not:
many abusive men are happily married.
You smeared an entire population of married men because, apparently, you can't think or reason clearly.
That's completely meaningless and unresponsive to my question.
You said:
many men who are happily married are abusers.
Not:
many abusive men are happily married.
You smeared an entire population of married men because, apparently, you can't think or reason clearly.
CD is full of posts that are nonsensical and are just designed to redirect the conversation.
Nothing in my OP would warrant about half of what was stated here, It's just people's preconceived ideas and thoughts filtered through their baggage prism.
Once an idea is floated out there isn't any control on how it's understood or interpreted and reconstructed back in the observers mind.
Last edited by Chowhound; 05-13-2017 at 05:05 PM..
It would be interesting to know WHY women tend to file for divorce more - men cheating? DV?
The OP has made an observation not based in fact. Not everything is how it seems. Plenty of people who seem happy and have it together don't. There are countless instances where middle class to wealthy, suburban "family men" are actually abusers, and no one outside the family saw it coming.
Your baggage is showing here.
Nothing in my posts would indicate any of this drivel here. Does what you state happen, of course. My post was assuming good decent men of which there are loads and loads of men like that out there. I wasn't contrasting good men with bad men or anything else that would warrant a conversation based on what you stated here.
That's completely meaningless and unresponsive to my question.
You said:
many men who are happily married are abusers.
Not:
many abusive men are happily married.
You smeared an entire population of married men because, apparently, you can't think or reason clearly.
so I worded it wrong for your interpretation? this isn't a high school essay class. if my clarification didn't suit you then I can't help that. I support and applaud all great family men. there isn't enough of them.
CD is full of posts that are nonsensical and are just designed to redirect the conversation.
Nothing in my OP would warrant about half of what was stated here, It's just people's preconceived ideas and thoughts filtered through their baggage prism.
Once an idea is floated out there isn't any control on how it's understood or interpreted and reconstructed back in the observers mind.
my reply was not to take away anything from any decent family man, just adding to it that not "all family men" are how your op portrayed them to be.
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