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I like family men. I like the whole vibe of a man that loves his wife and his kids. He's the guy that lives for his family. I like those guys, I trust them. I think that they are what they call the salt of the earth. That old saying. I don't mean any disrespect to single men with no family. I really don't. I don't have kids myself and that is probably a sort of an ironic thing in that I don't have kids myself yet I'm having this thing for family men. I just like the stability and I like the faith that these men have in their families. The way that they'd die for their wives and children, there is a obvious honor in that and again, great stuff.
I find that older men that are out just chasing P to be tired and sorta lame. I get that we all have our choices and I'm trying to not be so judgy but it just seems lame to me. I get that that might be offensive and I'm tying to not be that way, just sayin.
I get that guys chase women I get that, I'm just talking about the guy that is forty plus never married never couple up and just going out and hitting it. Again, he's got the right and is perfectly and rightly able to do such. I guess I just find that sorta thing to be abhorrent. I don't mean this in a moral or religious way, just a sad way in that they are missing out how great it is to be with a special someone and if you have kids to be with a woman that was the mother of your kids. That is a powerful thing and I think that it's a beautiful thing.
I wish it to be a beautiful thing for more people, I hope it is, who knows if it is. I hope so..............
I think, especially for those of us who didn't luck out in the father department, it is particularly profound to see men who have embraced such a huge responsibility. I look at my husband and the circle of friends we've had for so long: it seems like yesterday they were teenagers hanging out, driving around late at night, or sitting on the beach at night smoking weed and drinking cheap beer... It's endearing to see them now as grown men with families and jobs and homes. There's just something sexy about a man who has been pee'd on, puked on, and brought to a level of extreme vulnerability by a tiny little human.
Let me give you the short version: Women file for divorce more because they have had it up to here with their husbands refusing to be active participants in their marriage and family (if there are kids), or their cheating, or their abuse, or their lies, or their addictions, or their mental health problems. Women will do everything to get their partner involved and keep the marriage together long after their husband has checked out of the marriage and refuses to be an active participant. Men who abandon their wives, men who are abusers and cheaters don't file for divorce (because that would be giving up control) unless they are planning on exchanging their wife for a newer model, which leaves the onus of filing on the woman. Women end up filing because they want things over and done with after having it dragged out for years.
Not to further derail Chow's already derailed thread, but what I've read and seen, too, is that many men are a lot more willing to put up with a bad marriage as long as he's got three hots and a cot, so to speak (not to mention a cable package.) Just because the wife pulls the trigger and files the paperwork doesn't mean that husband has been blindsided and is not equally responsible for the marriage's demise.
I like family men. I like the whole vibe of a man that loves his wife and his kids. He's the guy that lives for his family. I like those guys, I trust them. I think that they are what they call the salt of the earth. That old saying. I don't mean any disrespect to single men with no family. I really don't. I don't have kids myself and that is probably a sort of an ironic thing in that I don't have kids myself yet I'm having this thing for family men. I just like the stability and I like the faith that these men have in their families. The way that they'd die for their wives and children, there is a obvious honor in that and again, great stuff.
For 25 years, "family man" was my primary identity. My former wife and I had five children whose ages span 18 years and I did my best to be a supportive husband and father. I wasn't always good at either but I tried hard. Now I have 11 grandchildren with a great grand due this summer. I also have two stepdaughters with three more grandchildren, a great grand and another on the way. My wife and I, now married 20.5 years, don't differentiate between any of them.
My wife is in the hospital right now with aspirational pneumonia. Sepsis has set in and the prognosis for recovery is extremely dim. She is 68. I'm 70. I have no idea what my identity will be if I lose her which, sadly, seems likely. She is the best thing that's ever happened to me. None of the children or grandchildren live in our state so they're not physically present in our lives nor we in theirs. Old age sucks! Perhaps I'm no longer a family man after all. More's the pity!
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,701 posts, read 41,816,786 times
Reputation: 41403
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ms.Mathlete
I think, especially for those of us who didn't luck out in the father department, it is particularly profound to see men who have embraced such a huge responsibility. I look at my husband and the circle of friends we've had for so long: it seems like yesterday they were teenagers hanging out, driving around late at night, or sitting on the beach at night smoking weed and drinking cheap beer... It's endearing to see them now as grown men with families and jobs and homes. There's just something sexy about a man who has been pee'd on, puked on, and brought to a level of extreme vulnerability by a tiny little human.
I definitely crapped out in the father department myself. I 100% appreciate my friends who take their fatherhood responsibilities seriously. They are stand up dudes.
However the overtone of judgement for men who have chosen not to take on the role of familyman and haven't made that commitment to other parties in vain just taints the premise of recognizing stand up dudes.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,701 posts, read 41,816,786 times
Reputation: 41403
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheDistinguishedGentleman
In my opinion, part of the reason that we are declining as a society is due to the fact that we are not as judgmental as we should be. In the past, public shame tended to keep people in line and on the right track.
I'm extremely judgmental and damn proud of it!
OP, I agree with you. I'm a HUGE fan of the family man (who is, commonly, the family patriarch). I'm younger than you, but I'm currently dating with this goal in mind.
So basically you are proud of the fact that you insert yourself into the lives of others because they make different choices than you and then degrade those choices that they did not ask your opinion because they fall outside your narrow worldview? That isn't anything to be proud of bruh. It's not a good look on you.
I definitely crapped out in the father department myself. I 100% appreciate my friends who take their fatherhood responsibilities seriously. They are stand up dudes.
However the overtone of judgement for men who have chosen not to take on the role of familyman and haven't made that commitment to other parties in vain just taints the premise of recognizing stand up dudes.
The thing is though, it's not a binary issue; viewing family men as stand-up guys does not mean child free men aren't. Being child free himself, I sincerely doubt Chow fees that way about men who have made the same choice he did.
Last edited by Ginge McFantaPants; 05-14-2017 at 10:18 AM..
Most people trust and like the true family men that Chowhound described. They're committed, responsibe, hard-working, and very selfless. Who wouldn't want to associate themselves with such great people?
For 25 years, "family man" was my primary identity. My former wife and I had five children whose ages span 18 years and I did my best to be a supportive husband and father. I wasn't always good at either but I tried hard. Now I have 11 grandchildren with a great grand due this summer. I also have two stepdaughters with three more grandchildren, a great grand and another on the way. My wife and I, now married 20.5 years, don't differentiate between any of them.
My wife is in the hospital right now with aspirational pneumonia. Sepsis has set in and the prognosis for recovery is extremely dim. She is 68. I'm 70. I have no idea what my identity will be if I lose her which, sadly, seems likely. She is the best thing that's ever happened to me. None of the children or grandchildren live in our state so they're not physically present in our lives nor we in theirs. Old age sucks! Perhaps I'm no longer a family man after all. More's the pity!
I'm so sorry to hear about your wife's health issue. Hope she'll get through this and be better soon. Hang in there!
I'm so sorry to hear about your wife's health issue. Hope she'll get through this and be better soon. Hang in there!
Ditto
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