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Let's be real. "Gertrude" is a very horrible name.
My mother was named "Mildred" and absolutely hated her name. She went by "Millie" but really did not like that either.
MY MOTHER was born in the 1930s. ALL of her sisters and brother, had better names - Gwendolyn, Mae, Anne, Dorothy, and Calvin.
She was never happy with her name, and it's easy to see why.
Gwendolyn was "Gwen" or "Lyn".Mae was "Mae" Dorothy, preferred "Dot" or "Dotty" and everyone called my uncle Calvin - "Cal".
He never liked "Calvin".
Some names are really hard to make normal. I'd say that "Gertrude" and "Mildred" both fall into that category.
Gertrude can be "Trudy". I met a few Trudys when I was growing up. It never occurred to me to wonder if their name might be Gertrude. Isn't "Trudy" a name that stands by itself, as well as one that's short for other names? Anyway, "Trudy" isn't bad. Maybe the OP could change hers officially to Trudy, as a sort of compromise.
Or maybe she has a completely different name in mind. Oh well.
I don't know if you're being selfish, but surely one has the right to an opinion about one's own name? However, I notice that even after all this time, you still haven't fixed on a particularly name you want.
Before you think about legally making any changes, you could start
1. Using "Trudy"
2. Using your middle name
3. Simply announcing your chosen name in a new situation. I went to school with someone who, after we'd known her for months, and met her parents, were surprised to find that she'd introduced herself with a different name.
Then you have to think about how to deal with your mother--not rudely. You could try some nicer variation of:
1. I know you picked the name, but although it's a classic, it's become a little antiquated.
2. How can it be selfish to think about my identity and how I present myself? Surely you want me to be happy with this basic aspect of myself.
3. You know I love you, but that doesn't mean that our preferences will always match.
4. I know you think I should be happy with it, but people change their names all the time.
Good luck with your mother. If you're still living at home, wait until you move out.
I completely disagree that it's selfish to change your name. When you get married, you can only change your last name. Why wait until you get married? If you ever get married.
Fershur. What on earth is selfish about having a name you like? Guilt much?
And like others have stated, I'm very glad I wasn't named Gertrude.
I don’t think you’re being selfish at all. It is YOUR name, not your mother’s. You have to live with it for life. Yes, she named you, but let’s be honest - she gave you a very old fashioned, harsh sounding name. Not that that is bad - but turns out, you’re really not a fan (which is surprising to few of us it seems).
I’m also in my 20s and am not a fan of the name (sorry - but I doubt you’ll be offended lol). I have a great aunt with that name, she is of German descent and actually lived there so for years as a child, so she has the accent and everything, and we call her Trudy. Personally not a fan of Trudy either. I think it also sounds old fashioned but maybe I’m biased because of my great aunt.
I think you should legally change it. This is coming from someone who has an unusual first name, made worse by the fact that I was named after a family member who was awful to me. Also, I had a very weird last name, so I was tortured in school for both names, which I guess helped to make me a strong individual, but not much fun as a kid. Really, for years I considered changing my name to Jane Jones.
I got used to my first name...in adulthood I’ve grown into it, & even been complimented on it. Some people are just plain ignorant & can’t pronounce it, so I loudly correct them. I ditched my last name through marriage long ago.
But, you can’t do much with Gertrude, it’s a granny name, & Trudy isn't an improvement, it’s pretty stodgy, too. Pick what you like & do it legally, just be aware that it will be a pain to change all your documents...Social Security, drivers license, passport, etc.
Gertrude can be "Trudy". I met a few Trudys when I was growing up. It never occurred to me to wonder if their name might be Gertrude. Isn't "Trudy" a name that stands by itself, as well as one that's short for other names? Anyway, "Trudy" isn't bad. Maybe the OP could change hers officially to Trudy, as a sort of compromise.
Or maybe she has a completely different name in mind . Oh well.
I do believe that's it.
While almost everyone retains their given name (yes, that's what our first names are called), even if they wish they'd been named something else, the OP clearly wants to choose her own, and legally change it.
My moms side of the family tried to guilt trip me into not changing my first and last name, for personal reasons. I ended up doing it anyway. When they got pissy I reminded them that I'm the one who has to deal with it anyway. Like at the end of the day, YOU have to deal with it, YOU have to answer to it, YOU have to sign with it, YOU are the one living with it, so everyone elses opinion about it is kind of pointless. It's really not selfish to change a name you genuinely hate, it's selfish to try and force someone to put up with it cause YOU like it.
I am getting my name changed and my mother does not like it. Ever since I was really young I hated it, the name being Gertrude, yuck (sorry to any Gertrudes out there). My mother has been trying to guilt-trip me from doing it, saying things like "But I picked out that name just for you" "You should be happy with it" "That's selfish thing to do" etc. etc.
I have always hated it and want to change it to something better like Allison, or Samantha. Am I being selfish?
Quote:
Originally Posted by este914
I am 24, my mother is 56.
Well, shoot! What's the verdict here OP? 128 (now 129) replies (only 2 of them yours) and 13 pages later; what do you think about this name change you've been pondering on? Not to mention all of the opinions/replies which we considered very conscientiously and offered up in good faith.
I mean I know that you're not bound by anything in particular to come back here and let us know what you're thinking about this thread, but I, for one, am curious.
No pressure, just wondering. Good luck whatever you decide!
In the meantime Happy New Year este194, sincerely.
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