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Your mom gave birth to you, but she doesn't own you. You just pass through her path of life, but a lot of people are not willing to understand this part. So, is ok if your mom is mad at you, but you should not be rude to your mom. When she say something make you feel bad, tell her nicely that you have make up your mind, and no matter what she said will not change your mind. If you cannot stand the way how she talks to you, simply ignore what she say.
I get your discontent. It's like nails on a chalkboard to a person that dislike their given name. mine is from a time long gone... And when I have to write my legal name it reminds me that my relatives endured this antiquated name...So can I. Most who know me call me by my nickname. Haven't changed the formal name since a rose by any other name is still a rose.
Mom: "But I picked out that name just for you"
Me: Yeah, that's right.
Mom: "You should be happy with it"
Me: So you should change your name to Gertrude.
Mom: "That's selfish thing to do"
Me: Yeah, that's right.
The bottom line is that it's your life and it's up to you to find out what makes you happy.
Don't try your live your life to make someone else happy as you will have a life of misery.
We are all put on this planet as part of the grand genetic design and our job is to find out how to make our personal genetic design fit in with all the others.
Sometime it means seeking out our own genetic and spiritual tribe and calling ourselves a name that resonates with our inner being.
Life is short, discover yourself and be happy.
Status:
"This too shall pass. But possibly, like a kidney stone."
(set 13 hours ago)
35,873 posts, read 18,181,681 times
Reputation: 50960
Quote:
Originally Posted by finalmove
Gertrude was the duck in "Journey to the Center of the Earth! I'd change it!
However, you'll have a big job explaining to everyone you know what your new name is.
I don't think she'll have any trouble at all - more like what took you so long?
OP, when you change your name, you won't believe how your life will improve.
My last name was horrible. The butt of jokes. When I got married, I married into a regular old standard name and I can't believe how different my experience is. Everyone can spell it, and no one laughs when I step up to the counter and give my name.
I am getting my name changed and my mother does not like it. Ever since I was really young I hated it, the name being Gertrude, yuck (sorry to any Gertrudes out there). My mother has been trying to guilt-trip me from doing it, saying things like "But I picked out that name just for you" "You should be happy with it" "That's selfish thing to do" etc. etc.
I have always hated it and want to change it to something better like Allison, or Samantha. Am I being selfish?
I think you're both being selfish and that's okay. It's your name after all. Why not be selfish? You wouldn't choose your shoes to please your mom, why your name? And when she chose your name, of course it was selfish of her. How could she have taken your opinion into account at that time?
I will give you practical advice. If you think you MIGHT consider changing your last name in marriage, wait until then and do it all at once. Use a nickname until then (though not on documents). Unless you are diametrically opposed to this possibility, you may very well meet a man to whom this is really important. Then you will have had three names. Gertrude Lastname, Allison Lastname, then Allison Hubbyname.
So that's something to think about.
You also might consider asking your mom to weigh in on your new name choice. If she refuses, then at least you offered.
I am getting my name changed and my mother does not like it. Ever since I was really young I hated it, the name being Gertrude, yuck (sorry to any Gertrudes out there). My mother has been trying to guilt-trip me from doing it, saying things like "But I picked out that name just for you" "You should be happy with it" "That's selfish thing to do" etc. etc.
I have always hated it and want to change it to something better like Allison, or Samantha. Am I being selfish?
Break out the guilt! You're selfish ALWAYS translates into I'm trying to guilt you into what I want - I don't care what you want.
You're an adult. If you want to change your name to Big Bird, go for it! I have a unique name that I have hated since elementary school. I HATE telling people my name. I HATE it. I keep thinking about changing it, but I should have done it when I was much younger. I just think my name is dreadful. I'd rather be called Poop For Brains all day! So I feel your pain. Gertrude would be an upgrade compared to my name.
This torture of having people make fun of your name, usually ends after HS. No one is really playing those games in adulthood, unless they are immature .
Ha! That's not true at all! At least, not my experience at all. I'm 42 and people STILL make hurtful jokes about my name. My mother loves it and I despise it. I tell her she can use it and that shuts her up. She doesn't want it. She both daughters really odd names - names you've NEVER heard and our brother got a simple basic name. We beat him up a lot growing up.
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