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No, you aren't being selfish. It's nice that your mother gave you a name she thought was beautiful, but if it means nothing to you, go ahead and change it.
This!
Quote:
Originally Posted by este914
I am getting my name changed and my mother does not like it. Ever since I was really young I hated it, the name being Gertrude, yuck (sorry to any Gertrudes out there). My mother has been trying to guilt-trip me from doing it, saying things like "But I picked out that name just for you" "You should be happy with it" "That's selfish thing to do" etc. etc.
I have always hated it and want to change it to something better like Allison, or Samantha. Am I being selfish?
My new philosophy lately is: It's your life, therefore your choice.
Your mom is being selfish by making you keep a name that makes you unhappy. It’s just a name, you’ll still be her daughter. What about if you let her have some input? Or do you already have something picked out?
One of my sisters changed her name when she was 6 because she was sick of people not being able to say her name. She used her middle name instead, and it stuck (she’s 28 now). She never changed it legally but has managed to get by just fine.
I have always hated it and want to change it to something better like Allison, or Samantha. Am I being selfish?
Absolutely not. Sometimes parents make horrible choices when naming their children. You're the one that has to live with it. Pick a nice name and go for it. Personally, I have always loved the name Samantha. In fact, Samantha Rae was on the short list had I had another daughter. Allison is also a very nice name.
My parents gave me the first name of my grandmother because I was born on her birthday. It's not really ugly, just old fashioned and not many people have ever heard of it. Incidentally, my grandmother wasn't crazy about her first name either and didn't want my parents to name me after her! It's Vara--many people think I'm saying "VEra" especially on the phone.
In addition, I go by a diminutive of my middle name, so all my life I've had to explain. I made up my mind when I grew up, I would name my child or children by the name they would go by and it would be short with little chance of misunderstanding by others.
When I expressed dislike of that name growing up, my mother gave me the same treatment--guilted me about not liking it, saying I should be proud to have my grandmother's name, etc., etc. I've never changed it, but I've been tempted!
My 91 year old mother is named Gertrude and at 63 I'm older than your mom. I couldn't imagine naming a daughter "Gertrude". BTW, my mom goes by Trudy.
It was a more popular name in the early 1900s but one never hears of a young woman or girl named Gertrude today. If you can't stand it I would change it. Your mother doesn't have to live with it as being part of her identity!
I am getting my name changed and my mother does not like it. Ever since I was really young I hated it, the name being Gertrude, yuck (sorry to any Gertrudes out there). My mother has been trying to guilt-trip me from doing it, saying things like "But I picked out that name just for you" "You should be happy with it" "That's selfish thing to do" etc. etc.
I have always hated it and want to change it to something better like Allison, or Samantha. Am I being selfish?
you mom is going to be hurt, even if you are in your 20s, she still looks at you like her baby. do you not have as middle name? how about using gerty, rudy, troody, or just G? there sure are some ugly names out there, and it makes me think if parents really considered what it would be like dealing with that name on a day to day basis.
look on the bright side, your name is not Gaylord, or Dick, or Becky? This torture of having people make fun of your name, usually ends after HS. No one is really playing those games in adulthood, unless they are immature .
I had an Aunt Gertrude, who was called Gertie. Gertrude was actually an Anglicized form of her Dutch name, Gertje.
I like my name. I can't really relate to the situation, but I doubt that the o.p. will be impressed by the achievements of some other Gertrude's. Actually I thought it was Gertrude Bennett who swam the Channel. And what about Gertrude Lawrence? I don't know... I'm not thinking we've changed her mind yet. <shrug> She doesn't like the name. It happens. Personally I'd say mom is getting off easy. Somewhere in the country there is a mother grappling with the fact that their child wants to change their name from Gertrude to Gerard. Or Laura to Leon. Or Maury to Mary. At least in those cases the child 'liked' the name. It just wouldn't be appropriate anymore. Small comfort. <snap!> What about Gina? Or Gwen? Then those monogrammed sweaters wouldn't be a total loss.
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