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If you want to get ahead, be the person who goes above and beyond and does extra work just so that it gets done. If you don't want to get ahead, complain about "it's not my job", "someone else made the mess" and the all time favorite, "IT'S NOT FAIR!!"
Supervisors notice who is doing the extra work and who is slacking off.
I think that some of you are being a little hard on Upsadaisy. Her posting history may be different than many people's posting history but, IMHO, it is because she uses CD as a place to vent her minor frustrations, or ask questions, on a wide variety of topics. When I have something minor that is bugging me I call my sister, or adult niece, or one of my friends to talk about it. If they aren't available, I call may call my brother or adult son or DIL or vent to a neighbor. In the past, I usually discussed most things with my late husband.
If I have a question about something, what to do in a specific situation or what to wear or something else I have a variety of people that I can ask about it so I don't always have to ask my online friends.
Upsadaisy does not have any of those people, parents, spouse, siblings, adult nieces/nephews, friends to ask simple questions or to share minor vents.
The point is that most of us have a lot of options that Usadaisy does not have. Most of us have A LOT more options! She has had a very difficult life and is trying to cope the best way that she knows. I bet that if many of us had the same obstacles we would not be managing as well as she is managing.
Last edited by germaine2626; 05-24-2018 at 08:59 AM..
I think that some of you are being a little hard on Upsadaisy. Her posting history may be different than many people's posting history but, IMHO, it is because she uses CD as a place to vent her minor frustrations, or ask questions, on a wide variety of topics. When I have something minor that is bugging me I call my sister, or adult niece, or one of my friends to talk about it. If they aren't available, I call may call my brother or adult son or DIL or vent to a neighbor. In the past, I usually discussed most things with my late husband.
If I have a question about something, what to do in a specific situation or what to wear or something else I have a variety of people that I can ask about it so I don't always have to ask my online friends.
The point is that most of us have a lot of options that Usadaisy does not have. Most of us have A LOT of options! She has had a very difficult life and is trying to cope the best way that she knows. I bet that if many of us had the same obstacles we would not be managing as well as she is managing.
She definitely comes across as goodhearted and well intentioned but if all around her from family to pastor's wife to all job managers are reacting according to HER, negatively to her, then HER behavior is likely the crux of the problem. That many different folks can't ALL be meanies.
Her level of selfawareness is abysmally low based upon her posts.
I worked at McDonalds as management through college. That place is full of drama, all of them are.Weirdly enough, I enjoyed certain parts of the job. I love fast paced work, and fast food IS fast paced. You need to multi-task, work quick but efficient.
I did time as the overnight manager and opening manager, so I know both sides. Are you working overnights?
^^ if this is all true (I haven't read all your threads), you have some soulsearching to do.
You need to be faster at work. Be more productive. Fast food places are fast paced. No time to stand around and do nothing. Have you tried retail? Not as fast paced, maybe more suited for you.
This is a good idea. There are a variety of retail jobs that would be open to the OP, with her food service experience. Most grocery stores hire periodically; I see constant turnover in most grocery stores where I shop. With the OP's cashiering experience, she could apply at Whole Foods, her local food co-op, any mom-and-pop shops and grocers, as well as the chain grocers (some are unionized, and pay well, I'm told). Department stores also have openings, but there, there's definitely clean-up involved on every shift, putting clothes away that are left in the dressing rooms, and so forth. May not be the OP's preference.
I have really messed up at work and wanted to vent about the sitaution
I posted awhile back about my job and how I was having trouble with my manager. Basically she was expecting me to do other coworker's work they had leftover and it was very frustrating. Normally i am the last person on shift that is there before she comes in, so people were leaving trash and not cleaning properly. She was angry at me because she wants everything cleaned up and ready before she comes in, and she doesn't care who does it. She just wants it done. Well, I complained to her about it and tried to tell her others werent pulling their weight and it was hard for me to do my work and everyone elses. Of course I gave her names and told her I already tried talking with them about it.
Well she ended up talking with them about it and now i have a reputation as a tattletail I guess. Whats weird is that my manager kept getting so mad at me for my "excuses" that I just gave up and started doing everyones work that was leftover. I stopped complaining about it or bringing it up. But now I have a bad rep for telling on people and now work can be awkward and there is tension. I only have one friend at work now but shes quitting (probably) and apparently shes been talking around my back about personal stuff I told her and not anybody else so that's where that is. The other friends I thought i had are treating me weird and now I think I'm just not liked.
My manager isnt helping either. I guess she hates me. I thought things had gotten better brtween us because some days she is nice but the other day I got called into the office to talk about my attitude. she says shes never had a problem with an employee like shes had with me. She said i don't take directions well and that I get an attitude with her. She also says I need to be quicker and pay better attention and that I'm the weaker link on the crew. She says that if I motivated myself more and was a team player then i could do well. She talked about how she started out as drive thru and moved up to manaagment and that shes not going to take excuses anymore. I said i was sorry and she said that she doesnt want to hear sorry anymore, she wants to see results. There was other stuff to but that was mainly it. I was sad to hear all that because I honestly thought I was doing really good :/ She says i get an attitude but mostly it's just that shes always yelling and getting onto me when I'm working and I'm dealing with a bunch of customers so normally I'm pretty upset stressed when I reply to her.
I'm just feeling sad and down. I wanted to start this job off right and at the beginning it was good. I wanted to get promoted and make friends. Like real friends. But once again i feel like I messed everything up. Work used to be my favorite place because I got to be around people and my job gave me purpose but now I don't look forward to going at all.
Good rule of thumb? Don't throw your co-workers under the bus unless absolutely necessary. You didn't talk to your colleagues before tattling on them to your manager.
As for the rest, your manager is probably correct. Gain a little self-awareness. Shape up or ship out.
Actually.. I have a friend now (for yrs she was NOT my friend)... and she actually had a lot of the same issues except for the fact that she was not accused of doing a poor job on any job. She was disliked by most around her so she focused on her job at hand. She did however have a prob when she was the one doing her job of throwing others under the bus when it somehow directly affected her job.
I don't know if this is your problem or not but with her... the root was the fact that she had very low self esteem. No confidence in herself whatsoever and she walked around mostly with her head hung down. She was raised in the back hollers of WVA and they were quite poor. She did get married but to a guy that committed a lot of local burglaries and that simply added to her lack of self worth and humiliation. Thus her head hung down further. The fact that she didn't like herself (and was never really taught how to be friendly) was the reason that she wasn't liked. And really... it wasn't that she was disliked but she was so pitiful and such a downer no one wanted to be around that.
She's now 63 and it took until she was 60 to start realizing that she had some value, etc.
IF any of that rings true for you, I would suggest seeking some help (if not professional there are churches that can help to some degree) or read some books on finding your own self worth and how to be a friend.
And then again... this can be totally off the mark and if so you can simply pay it no mind.
You are the one who is in all of these situations; that means it's YOU.
If there is any way for you to get into therapy to get to the bottom of why/how, do so. If you don't, you will be an old woman doing the same complaining and wondering. Wasted life!
Last edited by picklejuice; 05-24-2018 at 10:08 AM..
When managers and co-workers start behaving towards you the way you say they are that means you are being railroaded. You should be taking that as their advance, unofficial warning to you that you are not a good fit and are about to get fired. You should immediately start looking for a new job in a different line of work so you can hand in your notice, leave and go directly to a new job instead of waiting to get railroaded out of the job you're in now.
I think you have a misinformed idea about what a job can do for you. Practical people don't go to work to make friends and to socialize. They go to work to do only their job and make money so they can be self-supporting and independent. They socialize on their own time away from the job and they make friends with other people who have no connection with each other's places of employment. Trying to make friends at work is just asking for failure for promotion and lots of backstabbing disaster.
I think you should be doing some kind of slower-paced behind the scenes work that does not require you to deal with the public nor to perform customer service, nor to do team work with other employees. Have you ever considered looking for work in nurseries, garden greenhouses, tree farms - where you'd be working with plants instead of people - or in some facilities that deal with animals such as shelters, pet stores, veterinary offices?
I think you should be doing some kind of slower-paced behind the scenes work that does not require you to deal with the public nor to perform customer service, nor to do team work with other employees. Have you ever considered looking for work in nurseries, garden greenhouses, tree farms - where you'd be working with plants instead of people - or in some facilities that deal with animals such as shelters, pet stores, veterinary offices?
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More great ideas! And OP, I hope you learned your lesson about not dating a superior at work. That was very bad judgment. Are you emotionally needy, is this why you keep looking to make friends at work, and got involved with a supervisor to the extent of going on a date?
Those who are suggesting some counseling/therapy probably have a good point. Your health insurance may cover that.
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