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This is unfortunate and granted it does seem like you have alot going on, but thats life we all do. Some can just handle it better than others. Now as far as work is concerned , I do agree that coworkers arent your friends. They are just associates you spend time with. Not saying you cant find good friends with coworkers, but I wouldnt go into a job trying to be besties with anyone. I also wouldnt tell anyone my personal business.
If you feel uncomfortable at that job, simply find a new one. If your satisfied with only Fast food, try another spot. I dont know if your naive, but you seem to be going thru alot and simply just trying to find a outlet. Think about something you like to do. Only for YOU. Sometimes the smallest things can clear your mind.
Try a therapist, you can always stop going if you hate it.
You have NOTHING to lose.
Definitely doesn't connote "loser" to go to a therapist!
They're totally on your side, their only agenda is to help you.
Something has to be happening for you to be so nice (you do seem genuinely nice) yet have such a history of bad interactions with all; if it were just your family, or a couple of people, but going by what you say on here it's literally everyone, workplace, socially etc. Plus you can't afford to keep getting fired.
Since it's not that you're an a**hole, it must be SOMEthing else. Perhaps the neediness? I don't know, that's what a therapist would help you figure out.
yes i probably am as I have heard that before. that's why I'm trying to change. i would meet people and come off too strong right away and so i have relaxed and stopped doing that.
yes i probably am as I have heard that before. that's why I'm trying to change. i would meet people and come off too strong right away and so i have relaxed and stopped doing that.
Wait do you mean you "probably am" an a**hole? Nah dude I don't get that vibe from "here".
You vibe like a kid who never grew up, never developed an adult personality, is TOO nice if anything and naive and needy and talkative like a kid is.
But not an a**hole, no way. Unless your RL personality is way different to what you describe/vibe like on here.
You do seem clueless about yourself, about society outside of your family's stratum, and about what behaviors generate a positive outcome; you need guidance and mentoring at the least and a therapist who is skillful.
Wait do you mean you "probably am" an a**hole? Nah dude I don't get that vibe from "here".
You vibe like a kid who never grew up, never developed an adult personality, is TOO nice if anything and naive and needy and talkative like a kid is.
But not an a**hole, no way. Unless your RL personality is way different to what you describe/vibe like on here.
You do seem clueless about yourself, about society outside of your family's stratum, and about what behaviors generate a positive outcome; you need guidance and mentoring at the least and a therapist who is skillful.
i meant needy. i don't think i'm rude, i just talked to much and come off too strong.
i meant needy. i don't think i'm rude, i just talked to much and come off too strong.
Oh ok, gotcha. Yep needy. Understandable given your rearing but yeah not appealing after age 10 or so.
Look honey I get annoyed by your constant complaining posts but am starting to warm up to you a tad. You need to mature quite a bit, your development was likely arrested at a very young age due to the extreme conditions in which you were raised and you'll fare better if you develop some social/workplace maturity.
This is again where a therapist comes in; your FWB, us online, we can't help you. You need a professional whose job it is to teach you skills you never learned in childhood about human interaction, appropriate behavior in life/work/friendships.
Oh ok, gotcha. Yep needy. Understandable given your rearing but yeah not appealing after age 10 or so.
Look honey I get annoyed by your constant complaining posts but am starting to warm up to you a tad. You need to mature quite a bit, your development was likely arrested at a very young age due to the extreme conditions in which you were raised and you'll fare better if you develop some social/workplace maturity.
This is again where a therapist comes in; your FWB, us online, we can't help you. You need a professional whose job it is to teach you skills you never learned in childhood about human interaction, appropriate behavior in life/work/friendships.
i guess I could try but Id have to see how it would work and how to get there.
So far my guy has been helping me a lot. Hes not a therapist but he listens and is super sensitive to all my needs and does listen to me.
i guess I could try but Id have to see how it would work and how to get there.
So far my guy has been helping me a lot. Hes not a therapist but he listens and is super sensitive to all my needs and does listen to me.
That's very cool that he's a positive factor in your life BUT he's just a guy you casually date, not the same as a therapist's role.
See a therapist has the skills to recognize what you need to mature and develop; they guide you to self-assess, they have skills your fella doesn't.
Plus they have NO AGENDA, they aren't there to make you like them or be a pal, their sole job is to help you; since you have zero history of anyone being there to help you, I think you'd find great comfort from having a person you can tell ANYthing to, who will NOT judge, and whose focus is YOU.
Better than a friend who is give/take, a therapist is there just to give you help and guidance and you aren't expected to give anything BACK. I think that dynamic would be great for you.
Gve it a try. Like I said, if you hate it, stop going.
I stopped reading at the "yelling" part. My boss will yell at me twice....maximum. I'll let her know the FIRST time that her behavior is unacceptable. The second time....I'll refer her to the earlier conversation....she can think about it as I'm walking out the door.
That's very cool that he's a positive factor in your life BUT he's just a guy you casually date, not the same as a therapist's role.
See a therapist has the skills to recognize what you need to mature and develop; they guide you to self-assess, they have skills your fella doesn't.
Plus they have NO AGENDA, they aren't there to make you like them or be a pal, their sole job is to help you; since you have zero history of anyone being there to help you, I think you'd find great comfort from having a person you can tell ANYthing to, who will NOT judge, and whose focus is YOU.
Better than a friend who is give/take, a therapist is there just to give you help and guidance and you aren't expected to give anything BACK. I think that dynamic would be great for you.
Gve it a try. Like I said, if you hate it, stop going.
This is a good post.
OP, you need more than someone who listens to you. You need someone to listen to you and then help you understand how to make the changes you need to interact better with other people. As AJ1957, they will not judge you. They will evaluate and see what the problem is by talking to you and then help you figure out what changes you need to make. You'll find that you have the power to do that changing.
i'm thinking about it. my guy is the first person in my life who has ever actually listened to me. And I talk A LOT lol. I'm gonna try to be less social at work since it annoys ppl but I wouldnt mind talking to a therapist, like I said I'm worried about how it might make me feel but my guy says he can help me work on my issues. He has also told me that he thinks I would be great working in an office and that he would hire me if he could.
My guy says he doesnt ntice that I'm slow and he always tells me he doesnt see anything wrong with me which has helped me to feel better.
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