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This only illustrates the point. There really aren't any "boring" topics, but you have to tailor your conversation to your audience. And I mean conversation, not lecture. Be considerate. Stop and ask me some questions occasionally and listen and pay attention to the answer. Ask some questions if you don't know your listener all that well. "Did this ever happen to you?" "Do you have this where you live?" If these people are truly your friends, then they are interested in your life and you should mention personal things. But not repetitively. If your listener doesn't have any children, please don't go on and on about your child's problems with his 6th grade teacher. A sentence or two is enough. If your listener has children the same age as yours, then feel free to compare notes.
I think the art of conversation is about being more interested in listening than talking. In that case, some of these topics that you deem boring are really windows into who that person really is. In other words, treat everyone as interesting. You'll be surprised.
This is a noble intention, but IME when I've been too nice and accommodating by listening to certain people, they latch on to you and bend your ear every time they need a listener, then you have to figure out whether to resign yourself to the "free therapist" role, or else how to extract yourself from future encounters.
I recall reading something many years ago (pre-Internet, so sorry no citation) that the French, who take conversation and language much more seriously - almost to the point of art form - are/were much less tolerant of the kind of boring monologues that we polite/friendly Americans tolerate. So they tended to interrupt or contradict more often, at the very least were much more direct (hence the perception that they are rude), and children learned quickly that they needed to be succinct/interesting/well-spoken to keep people's attention. In any case, I sometimes think we could use a dose of that in this society, i.e. stop rewarding or encouraging these endless boring monologues.
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Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801
Then there are people who talk to you about other people that you don't know without explaining who they are. My sister does this. On and on about Ralph or somebody as if I met this person and know his background.
I have a relative who talks about people but often doesn't name them - just "the one guy" or "the other guy" - which makes it even harder to follow these stories, especially from one episode to the next. Argh.
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Originally Posted by Coney
Don't forget the insertion of a dramatic pause here and there, expecting the listener to gasp with surprise, even if they heard that story several times already.
In a similar vein, folks who drop a hint of information and then it's apparently up to me to ask 20 questions to extract the story. Nope, not playing that game. You want to tell me something, spill it. I'm not going to beg for details.
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Originally Posted by saibot
I have to say no to that. My fairly extensive experience with people 80+ indicates that they are no more interested in random dogs, unrelated children, or sports teams they have never followed than they were when they were young. Instead, they generally prefer to talk about their OWN pets, grandchildren, and aches and pains.
True dat.
Last edited by IndyDancer; 09-03-2018 at 08:23 PM..
Reason: Spacing
A lot of the ones mentioned but, as pointed out, it's not always the topic but the time spent on it.
Would like to add: how wonderful it was where you used to live. I live in an area a lot of people relocate to for retirement and/or cheap housing and beautiful scenery. But no, we don't have 20 grocery stores, 13 museums, ad nauseam.
I'd love to see the goats, but I like her honesty.
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Originally Posted by LilyMae521
yes, ylisa, I'd like to see the goats also. Maybe post a pic. Now, that would be interesting.
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Originally Posted by Coney
Love goats. Would love to see your pix.
This only illustrates the point. There really aren't any "boring" topics, but you have to tailor your conversation to your audience. And I mean conversation, not lecture. Be considerate. Stop and ask me some questions occasionally and listen and pay attention to the answer. Ask some questions if you don't know your listener all that well. "Did this ever happen to you?" "Do you have this where you live?" If these people are truly your friends, then they are interested in your life and you should mention personal things. But not repetitively. If your listener doesn't have any children, please don't go on and on about your child's problems with his 6th grade teacher. A sentence or two is enough. If your listener has children the same age as yours, then feel free to compare notes.
Agreed...ask some questions. It amazes me how so many people just like to talk about themselves.
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Originally Posted by Mid America Lifer
I have a cousin who raises goats---always makes my day better when she puts up photos or videos of them on Facebook!
When I see a lot of things here, what occurs to me most is the lack of social awareness not to harp on anything for too long unless it “connects.” It should be fine and appropriate to say, “Job is going well, busy lately but positive stuff happening. Yourself?” But most jobs aren’t all that interesting and we don’t need tons of detail. I am bored honestly by almost all of what my own company - that I own! - does. I certainly am not interested in boring someone else over it. If they want to know more, they’ll ask!!
If you touch briefly on many things you’ll find something you both want to talk about more. Nobody really wants to hear on and on about anything they don’t care about bottom line.
The WORST ever? I have a co-worker who frequently discusses how much her dogs poop in her house. A conversation may begin by discussing work, the weather, or even last night's dinner. But it will always, always, ALWAYS somehow end up about dog poop. (If there is a prize, do I win?)
Please name some. I'll list one myself soon. Let's exclude discussions just between members of the immediate family.
Awhile back, I went to a luncheon consisting of my high school graduating class. There was maybe 15 of us, total.
Everyone wanted to talk about Social Security, retirement, and AARP. Seriously. So dull! LOL I graduated in 75, so we ARE "that age"...but still...so boring. LOL
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