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In my office at work we have hundreds of people who come from a very similar background. Few are friends. Most people seem to keep to themselves and have lunch at their desk. On the street where we live people seem to share a common age and demographic but when we have social events at the end of the block most people seem to struggle to make any connection with each other. I teach classes at a local Community College and the people who have sat next to each other for months make no effort to make conversation before or after class. Why is it so hard for people to find others they share any personal chemistry with? Our relationships with the people we interact with seem so distant and forced.
They have a fear of rejection and of being hurt so as long as they mind there own business, they don't have to deal with it.
This is my problem, the rejection. I have tried and have been hurt too many times to count. I am just not going to try so hard anymore. It also seems that people have "enough" friends already they don't want to bring anyone new into their circle........
In my office at work we have hundreds of people who come from a very similar background. Few are friends. Most people seem to keep to themselves and have lunch at their desk. On the street where we live people seem to share a common age and demographic but when we have social events at the end of the block most people seem to struggle to make any connection with each other. I teach classes at a local Community College and the people who have sat next to each other for months make no effort to make conversation before or after class. Why is it so hard for people to find others they share any personal chemistry with? Our relationships with the people we interact with seem so distant and forced.
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REPLY: I have a theory on your question . I find many people to be protective of themselves , somewhat withdrawn, very cautious, not very assertive in revealing themselves in conversation or establishing conversation...because of past trust-busting events thats happened in thier lives. Some people have experienced alot of betrayal, been used, been gossiped about, been targetted by cliques at work , been thru difficult marriages/divorces...and i think it all adds up to what degree others are willing to let themselves be known . Of course some people may be just shy but i think the majority of people in society fall into what ive mentioned above. What ive found more and more, are people not willing to take the risk at meeting new people and putting forth the effort at deepening friendships. Can you relate at all to what im saying by this ?? Thanks.
One answer that I seem to always come up with, "It's just the day-and-age we are living in". "So much crime, so much fear" can be another answer.
Actually, my wife and I have the same problem. We are 59 and 60 years old and have an extremely hard time making friends. Eight years ago, we use to Squaredance and had some friends then, but all they ever wanted to do was Squaredance.....more to life than Squaredancing every weekend. We got interested in an "older age" church group, but these folks literally had no interest in the things we liked to do....they were "to old" for us.
I find that people in general (all across the US) just aren't as friendly as they use to be years ago. About the only place you can find this "friendliness" anymore is in that "small town" environment. Statements like,
"Good Morning" "Hey, Joe, has that mare of yours had her foal yet", "How are your crops doing, Don". This is what I was use to hearing 45 years ago in my old farming town in Indiana. But, today, in the "big city" and "suburb" areas it's a very different thing.
Here's another angle. People ,especially the younger ones, dont know how to communicate face to face any more! Email-facebook-texting. Always some form of non personal way to communicate. Conversation is a dying art in my opinion. Sad too!
About the only place you can find this "friendliness" anymore is in that "small town" environment. Statements like,
"Good Morning" "Hey, Joe, has that mare of yours had her foal yet", "How are your crops doing, Don". This is what I was use to hearing 45 years ago in my old farming town in Indiana.
Then everybody knows ALL of your business. I'm not cool with that.
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