The "My phone died" excuse (friendship, person, member)
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If there are really phone issues, you probably would know the context. The fact that you have a question and that this friend isn't going out of their way to contact you or do something to make up for what happened prior, this probably isn't a good friend for you to have. I wouldn't play games back. Just simply, make a decision and move on, but leave your door open enough that you friend or "friend" can still contact you and meet you at your convenience (at a time and location you were planning on being at regardless of if friend shows up or not.)
I have to admit my bro in law’s old POS phone used to drop calls all the time. Legitimately. He got a new phone and Different carrier and guess what - no more problems. So I MIGHT give a person the benefit of the doubt a couple times.
I must say this deliberate tactic never occurred to me before and I might try it sometime with a cousin who drones on and on about nothing. Of course she’d probably call me right back.
My phone used to do that too - at 68%, 40%, 18%, etc....no warning, just die on me. Once I replaced the battery the "dying"stopped. A lot of the newer phones don't have the replaceable battery option - another marketing thingy to keep you buying new phones. Maybe she's just stuck with her phone until December 2020 or something.
Or maybe you just talk on a lot, she gets bored and just wants to end it. That's rude, but maybe that's her way to end calls she's really not interested in without coming out and saying it
I'm a firm believer in tactful honesty. It is neither tactful nor honest to hang up on someone, pretending that it's inadvertent, no matter who's talking.
When I want to end a conversation, I say, "Listen, I'm going to have to let you go now -- there's stuff I have to do." Usually the other person says, "OK, talk to you later." And that's the end.
While honesty is the best policy, there are some people who just don't take no for an answer and despite telling them you must go they will continue to hold you hostage on the phone.
While honesty is the best policy, there are some people who just don't take no for an answer and despite telling them you must go they will continue to hold you hostage on the phone.
If tactful honesty doesn't work, then "brutal" straight forward honesty is best.
Some people just really don't know because they aren't good with social cues or live in their own bubble.
If, after that, that doesn't work, then that's what the block feature is for.
I don't buy it. Does anybody? At least more than once?
I have a friend who will just cut off a conversation when she either is bored or arrives where she's going or whatever. Just, no connection mid-sentence.
Then, the next day I get the excuse that so sorry, her phone died.
If it happened once, or maybe twice in a 12 month period, I "might" believe it. But, every other week?
Even if it's true, it's unacceptable. Charge your dang phone.
Funny thing, though, is that whenever she needs my help, she doesn't have these issues - or at most, they are instantly resolved.
When I need her help? Huh, phone died mid-conversation.
I guess the moral of the story for me, anyway, is to stop being available to this kind of person.
But, have you dealt with the same situation where supposedly someone's phone magically died when you were in the middle of talking, and they didn't get back to you for a day? Hello, can't everyone else just plug their phone in? I know I can.
It happens to my brother all the time. And HE calls me. So it's not like he didn't want to talk to me. Sometims the phone cuts out a bit beforehand.
His phone dies a lot because he uses it a lot, and he's running the roads. It's because he doesn't like to charge it at home because that charger is slow, so he prefers to charge it when he's driving around, so it doesn't get a full charge. Or maybe it's vice versa. Whatever. It happens.
When I was in middle school (way before cell phones), I would just hang up on people when I got bored if they were going on and on. Because I was 12. They'd call back and I'd tell them my phone just hung up for some reason. An even worse excuse for phones that were attached to the wall. When we got a cordless around that time, that was a better excuse.
I haven't done that since I was a kid. But karma is a ******. My cell phone drops calls all the time. 2 different cell phones and 2 different services and I seem to have that problem more than anyone else I've met. It's my payback for being such a brat on the phone in my tween years, I guess
I get your point, but what about communication skills? How about she says "Opps look at the time, gotta go?"
I happened to be talking about stuff related to my mother dying that day. So, I would think this time, she might put up with a little extra ranting. I can't believe she just cut me off.
Well, actually, I can. She's very self-centered and pretty much only wants me in her life when she wants me to do something for her.
But, no, I don't think it's on the recipient to sense when the other party is considering faking a phone dying. I think it's on an adult being able to communicate that they want to go to bed now, etc. I mean, that just precipitates the idea that their discomfort is always someone else's fault and that they should never have to deal with discomfort with regards to anyone else's needs.
I've dealt with people like her in the past, Sadly these people aren't interested in being your listening ear.
Try doing this next time you see her, Have a short conversation but demonstrate no interest; be the one to cut her off and see what her reaction is. Also stop doing favors for someone who isn't going to reciprocate the moral support.
...She's very self-centered and pretty much only wants me in her life when she wants me to do something for her....
You already know the answer obviously. Why are you complaining about her conduct on the phone? Pointless, a much bigger problem than rude phone conduct.
If she is the only one coming to you for advice, consider this. While other people could use your advice, perhaps they feel being your reference or emergency contact is not enough to repay the help you can give. In other words, they don't want to use you as your friend seems to be doing. My suggestion is to find ways that other people can give back to you. I have yet to find a person who wants to be a therapist. I don't make a good one myself.
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