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He thought I was suggesting that drugs are where his money is going and corrected me on that. No response to my reply explaining I am talking about messing with his mind when he does have money to buy them. I really don't know him well enough to be getting in his business. It's surprising he even answered honestly when I first asked about drugs.
Addicts lie.. not only to us but to themselves.
No matter what you say to this guy, it isn't going to do squat. He's the one that has to make the decision to get clean..
Stay away before he sucks you in further than you already are.
No matter what you say to this guy, it isn't going to do squat. He's the one that has to make the decision to get clean..
Stay away before he sucks you in further than you already are.
Yeah I had an emotional reaction at first like nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! But I know all this stuff y'all are saying. ICE is a messed up drug, IDK how anyone can think they are going to do it and keep their life. His brother has no job at all. I guess my friend is barely holding onto his. It's just sudden to me. Last time I saw him job, car, school and so freaking proud and happy about school. So dedicated to never missing. Seems a rather sudden downfall and I attributed it to other factors.
There is a guy I know who I didn't see for a while and his brother told me he lost his car and such. I was really sorry to hear that and finally got to talk to him when he got enough money to turn on his phone. Then it went off again. He can text and call with wifi only.
said he went to jail on a ticket he can never seem to get paid off. They don't let him totally 'sit it out'. Lost hours at work as a result.
He said he took a break from school which REALLY kills me. Only way out of his mess. Come to find out drugs are in play. ICE, meth, whatever people want to call it.
I suggested rehab paid for by the state! He said no worries, he doesn't have any money to buy any anyway. I was like but it messes with your mind. It affects school and work and all that.
What else can I say? I want to go on about it destroying dopamine receptors. Blah blah. Soon he won't be able to keep his job. And it's a crappy job. He was so proud when he started school. Made videos of himself going to and from. Talking about changing his whole life.
If there is a chance in heck I could say something to get him to go to rehab......heck they give you a roof and food! He is couch surfing.
I care about him despite not knowing him long. He is smart. A really nice guy.
Stay away from this person.You can't help him.He needs to WANT to help himself out of the mess he's in and only HE can do it.It's nice that you suggested things to him BUT you're wasting your time because he will have to WANT to get help for himself.Just stay away from him and pray for him from afar.That is all you can do.It's not your problem but if you continue to try to help this person...he will become your problem and you don't want that.
I have a facebook friend, a guy I've never met in person...but yeah...a nice guy. Younger than me, but he's funny, compassionate, kind, and yes, smart. He and I have mutual FB friends, and that's how I know him. I like him quite a bit.
I know that in the past, he has struggled with addiction and homelessness. But at the time that I came to know him, I thought those days were behind him.
A couple of years ago, he seemingly dropped off the planet. He wasn't answering his cell phone, and wasn't responding to anyone on facebook. This went on for months. Every once in awhile, I'd ask our mutual friends if they'd heard from him, and they had not. They also said it wasn't the first time this had happened. I was worried. I wondered if he was in a hospital, or sleeping in a tent down by the river, or sitting in a jail cell, unable to make bond, etc. Or...what if he was dead?
After several months, suddenly, he was back on line. I don't know what happened. He never said to me. I suspect some jail time, but I don't really know. Just some indicators from various things he said. I'm glad he's OK.
I still like the guy. But honestly, emotionally, I took 2 big steps back. I had been so worried for him before. And he had no explanation for what happened. Not that he owed me. But I was emotionally invested. Now...not as much.
I sincerely hope he gets all his ducks in a row. I really do. But how do you leave all your friends hanging, for months? Wondering if you're dead or alive? Sleeping on the streets maybe, or in your car...and then just pop back in the scene like nothing happened? I don't want to emotionally invest in that again.
Stay away from this person.You can't help him.He needs to WANT to help himself out of the mess he's in and only HE can do it.It's nice that you suggested things to him BUT you're wasting your time because he will have to WANT to get help for himself.Just stay away from him and pray for him from afar.That is all you can do.It's not your problem but if you continue to try to help this person...he will become your problem and you don't want that.
We're in different cities. I don't think texting is going to cause me any problems. I'm not going to try to help other than IF the opportunity arises to mention rehab from time to time. He still has friends and family support so he's not all the way down the rabbit hole.
He's not a stranger, but yeah I get it. As I said above if we keep chatting I will see times to maybe say something. I don't see myself as a savior at all, certainly not aspiring to that. But a friend tries to help!
You still don't get it. He IS a stranger now, he has changed, he is no longer that ambitious person that you were so proud of before, he is somebody you don't know now. And you are NOT being a friend to him, you aren't doing him any favours or helping him, you are interfering with his path that he must go down alone. You are allowing HIS problems in HIS life to get a grip on you and interfere with and cloud your own peace of mind and good common sense, he has already started to drag you down into his world. Run away, stop chatting with him, stop all communication, forget about him, leave him alone. Stop being stupid.
.
Hurts don't it? Knew a woman who told me she works with people like this and goes home and sobs for 1-2 hours every night. Heartbreak after heartbreak. Once in a great while, 5-8 rise up, 3-4 fall back, but 1-2 make it out of the drugs and crime...
It's like many groups GA, AA. NA not many make it the first time. But with help from mentors/members they have a better chance.
We have a worker who was an alcoholic. He finally got tired of sleeping in the cold. He got through rehab and lives with his mother now. I hope he stays on the path.
NOTE: I have posted about my experience with homeless and how they act. It's just so strange to me. I can sleep in comfort, they sleep in tents in 20 degree weather. It's choices, mine and theirs.
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