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By the way, I worked with counseling clients who didn't admit they used drugs for months. Users are really, really good at hiding their dependency, and good at fooling people about it -- including themselves.
By the way, I worked with counseling clients who didn't admit they used drugs for months. Users are really, really good at hiding their dependency, and good at fooling people about it -- including themselves.
I thought about that ticket thing some more. Small offenses can be done with with time served. How can a ticket not be the same? How could he go back on the same one still unpaid?
I thought about that ticket thing some more. Small offenses can be done with with time served. How can a ticket not be the same? How could he go back on the same one still unpaid?
My first impression when I read it was that he lied to you and was in prison for selling drugs or something.
I can't understand why you're connecting with him. Play up. When you reach out your hand out to help someone like this, they'll almost always pull you down.
My first impression when I read it was that he lied to you and was in prison for selling drugs or something.
I can't understand why you're connecting with him. Play up. When you reach out your hand out to help someone like this, they'll almost always pull you down.
I thought about that ticket thing some more. Small offenses can be done with with time served. How can a ticket not be the same? How could he go back on the same one still unpaid?
Whatever the reality may be of the ticket situation, your OP says it all:
"… lost his car … got enough money to turn on his phone … it went off again … went to jail on a ticket he can never seem to get paid off … Lost hours at work as a result… took a break from school … drugs are in play ... I suggested rehab … he doesn't have any money to buy any [drugs] anyway …"
When people go through rehab, they're often told to list all the consequences of their substance abuse. The list always contains things like these. Abusers get their priorities screwed up and make bad choices. I hope he can get to the point sooner rather than later where he gets the professional help he needs -- because he's not going to do it on his own, and the support of caring friends like yourself isn't likely to be enough to get him where he needs to go.
Any kind of ticket will land you in jail if you don't do anything about it. You have to go to court or just pay it. If you don't, you get another violation (failure to appear) and then a warrant goes out. Next time you get pulled over or I think cops can even run your plates and see warrants, off you go.
The part that doesn't make sense to me is petty offenses can get time served in a small amount of jail time. I don't know how a ticket can't be the same. He said they only let him sit out 'x' dollars and he still owes. I don't get it but I am not going to ask anymore.
Seems like drug charges would be longer in jail than just a few days, so I really have no idea what is going on there.
Any kind of ticket will land you in jail if you don't do anything about it. You have to go to court or just pay it. If you don't, you get another violation (failure to appear) and then a warrant goes out. Next time you get pulled over or I think cops can even run your plates and see warrants, off you go.
The part that doesn't make sense to me is petty offenses can get time served in a small amount of jail time. I don't know how a ticket can't be the same. He said they only let him sit out 'x' dollars and he still owes. I don't get it but I am not going to ask anymore.
Seems like drug charges would be longer in jail than just a few days, so I really have no idea what is going on there.
Who cares what's going on? Stop entertaining this guy and his BS, and cut him out of your life!! He is only going to keep lying to you, using you, and his drama will seep into your life. He needs help, and he will only get help if he chooses to. You telling him to get help and handing him every brochure, website link to a rehab facility, etc, will do NOTHING!!!!
Some people need a hard slap from reality in order to be saved/have a wake up call. And that's not your responsibility, nor it is your problem.
I'm hanging WAY back. He's staying with a different friend now and we were on speakerphone and for whatever reason I thought 'all these people who let him stay are probably doing this mess'. How will he ever get out even though he isn't addicted yet?
I don't really know. I decided not to ask 100 questions. I did say what I wanted to about dopamine receptors. And drugs or no drugs, staying up late is not conducive to being able to concentrate in school.
But I am not going to hammer the points. I said what I wanted to say.
At least he's got his phone on and is renting a room in a house as opposed to being on a couch. He said he's getting it all together (which is what prompted my commentary) so time will tell.
He's in another city, we're just messaging sometimes, he isn't using me for anything. After I had said all that I wanted to and we talked about other unrelated things we're talking about him saying hey how are you ? on the text and exchanging what we're doing that evening and that is it. No drama, no problems. I literally can't. I have kind of a lot going on.
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