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I think the OP is offended because he/she views the neighbor as a friend...and feels that friends do favors for friends. With the neighbor insisting on paying the OP, and making it feel like a business transaction, I think the OP now believes that the neighbor doesn't see him/her as a friend.
Yes, I get that. If a friend asked me to help them with, I don't know, wording something on a letter they were sending, for example, I would feel weird if they offered to pay me. Yes, I do charge my clients for editing, but I wouldn't charge a friend! That would be very odd if they tried to hand me money.
But on the other hand, I would probably decline if a friend asked me to edit their 400-page memoir for free.
I think there's a line and it's not an obvious one. Watching kids for five hours? I don't know. I've done it for friends without expecting to get paid, but there was the expectation that they'd watch my kids for me at some point. Or maybe they were going through a hard time and I just wanted to help. If my neighbor came over and asked me to watch her kids, I'd come up with some excuse unless it was an emergency situation. That's not something I'd offer to do at all, much less for free. Other people would be perfectly happy to watch someone else's kids for hours without any compensation.
It really depends on what each person's perception of the task (and, in some cases, the relationship) is and really, it doesn't help to get offended. One of you is going to "win" the battle (accept payment or accept not paying someone), and it's more gracious to put up a bit of an argument and then accept whatever the other person is telling you.
I really don't understand being offended either. In these types of situations, you go back and forth good naturedly, then one person gives in and says a gracious thank you and it's over.
It's over. It's nice that you helped and it's nice that he paid.
Why would you choose to be offended? He warned you he was going to offer cash, and he did and you took it. That's it. Nothing to be offended about since you took it.
I have a good friend that will dog sit for 40/day. She sleeps at your house and is never gone longer than 4 hours. To hire someone with this level of service would be 200/day. It’s a deal because we are friends. I have done things for free for friends but have also charged. I sold a friend’s car for free. It was at my house, we did all the ads, test drives, etc. Then they had more stuff to be sold so I took a percentage or flat fee whichever was bigger. They were happy.
I think the OP is offended because he/she views the neighbor as a friend...and feels that friends do favors for friends. With the neighbor insisting on paying the OP, and making it feel like a business transaction, I think the OP now believes that the neighbor doesn't see him/her as a friend.
Bingo! I believe the OP wanted a more personal form of compensation from the friend/neighbor, such as the proposed dinner out with the girlfriend. But, perhaps the neighbor doesn't feel their level of acquaintance is that intimate. It doesn't mean they're not friends, just that the OP's definition of friendship doesn't match the neighbor's. There's still nothing to be offended about in that equation though, IMHO.
It may be a point of pride for the neighbor. As if accepting a "favor" is a sign of a shortcoming of his in providing for his family. Similar to those who don't like to receive handouts despite having a need.
I get it, but AnotherTouchofWhimsy makes sense in saying when the favor becomes more than the normal quick favor (maybe an hour or two watching kids, let's say), then it becomes a whole other thing.
3 -5 hours is something that family and VERY GOOD friends can expect to do for no charge - but not neighbors.
He was right to insist you take payment and since you were gracious enough to accept it - then let it go and move on.
And it doesn't mean you can't ask him for a favor again. That's just silly and seems punitive.
Sounds like you have a good neighbor/friend there. Someone who is not taking advantage of you.
They would have to pay a babysitter anyway. And, what if somehow you refused the money, left it on their floor, and then next week they ask you to babysit again, and the next week again, and so forth..... Would you then still never accept money?
They offered money, you tried to refuse it, they insisted, you took it. It's all fine.
You could now ask them for a favor and pay them the same amount they just gave you. It's a wash.
It's hard for me to let people do nice things for me. But, I was taught that I need to let people do nice things for me once in awhile, because it makes them feel good. It makes me feel good to do nice things for people. And by letting your neighbor pay you, you're letting him feel good about showing he values your time.
There is also the possibility the neighbor doesn't want to have to owe you a favor on that level of work or time. Maybe he's afraid he won't want to or have the time to do something equal for you, in order to feel like you're on even ground as far as owing favors.
Try to look at it as the neighbor is telling you he's really grateful and values your time and the fact that he knew he could trust you and not worry about his kids while they were with you. That's really huge to a parent. So, I think you should keep the money and feel good about letting your neighbor value you. This is not something to be upset about as far as your relationship with this neighbor, in my opinion.
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