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I think the OP is offended because he/she views the neighbor as a friend...and feels that friends do favors for friends. With the neighbor insisting on paying the OP, and making it feel like a business transaction, I think the OP now believes that the neighbor doesn't see him/her as a friend.
Exactly, which means that she thinks she'll be expected to pay in any transactions with them and not expect any 'favors'. Therein lies the problem.
I don't understand, OP. He said he'd pay you. The job took hours out of your evening. Just because you had nothing to do (except read your book) doesn't mean you weren't needed. The purpose of a babysitter is to be there to handle emergencies. It is not to entertain the kids; that's what a nanny does, or a hired clown or entertainer. Your job is to feed the kids if they're too young to feed themselves, and simply make sure everyone's safe, (not climbing out the windows, or doing anything dangerous), and to be there just in case of emergency.
Why you wouldn't want to get paid is beyond me. And even more cryptic is why you'd be offended. You need the money anyway, which, presumably is why you agreed to the job. So why wouldn't you want to keep the money that you earned fair and square? I'm not following.
I think the OP is offended because he/she views the neighbor as a friend...and feels that friends do favors for friends. With the neighbor insisting on paying the OP, and making it feel like a business transaction, I think the OP now believes that the neighbor doesn't see him/her as a friend.
OK, this kind of makes sense, but the "favor" took up her entire evening, 65% longer than agreed upon. If he hadn't paid her, she'd probably have been made that he took advantage of her by staying out to almost twice the agreed-upon time.
I appreciate that there have been responses but they don't really say anything. I shared that I was offended that he offered cash instead of just asking for a favor. No clue what realize it's not about me is even supposed to mean.
Well...because you're making this issue about you. The very fact that you're offended over being paid to babysit means you're making it about you.
Are you offended that...I don't know...he's made the choice to NOT take you out for dinner, or NOT treated you as a close friend, as opposed to a business transaction?
IMO, he's treated you very respectfully. He thought your service was valuable, and he paid you for it. There are plenty of people who might've said "Let's get lunch sometime" and "sometime" never seems to roll around because they used you.
But this guy knows your value and treated you accordingly. Seems to me, that's flattering, and something to take some pride in.
Here’s the way I think of getting recompense for favors and why you should accept them...because if you don’t, he’ll never feel comfortable about asking you for anything again.
A neighbor who I considered a friend and who has helped me out (and like-wise) asked me to babysit and said he would pay. I said I would but he wouldn't pay me - they aren't small children - not sure of ages exactly but around 10-12 (two of them) - turned out I was bored out of my mind. The kids disappeared the entire evening to go play video games, etc. - I did get to talk to the sweet dog, LOL - I sat there in complete quiet for 5 hrs. w/my book (it was supposed to be 3 hrs.) - he came home, said he'd hit up the ATM and handed me money - I said "I told you you don't have to pay me", he said he'd told me he would. I was so tired and brain-dead at that point I relented but I really don't want the money (yes, I could use it but it's outrageous to pay that when I did nothing other than put away some food in the fridge). I would have so much better appreciated this if he'd asked it as a favor, suggested that he/his family/he and his girlfriend took me out for dinner or something sometime. Sorry for the long post - this has been stressing me out. Trying to figure out how to return the money but let him know I was offended (I'm sure he didn't mean offense). Not good at telling people to their face how I feel (I tend to cry very easily). Any opinions? Send him an email explains this?
I appreciate that there have been responses but they don't really say anything. I shared that I was offended that he offered cash instead of just asking for a favor. No clue what realize it's not about me is even supposed to mean.
That is just bizzare of you to be "offended" someone paid you for your Time!!!! So many people wish they could be paid an here you are not wanting it. Mail that money to me then... Seriously.
I agree... this is a weird thing to be offended about. Maybe instead of saying "You don't have to pay me" you could have asked him to pay it forward or reassure him that you will be needing a favor some time in the future and it evens out in the wash.
Plus too...sometimes people do not want to be beholden to someone else. They want to be on the up and up, and take care of their responsibilities, and not be owing to other people. Maybe that's how he felt. To HIM he wouldn't feel right letting you hanging out there, waiting for some kind of recompence.
To him, the right thing to do was to pay you for your valuable time.
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