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A neighbor who I considered a friend and who has helped me out (and like-wise) asked me to babysit and said he would pay. I said I would but he wouldn't pay me - they aren't small children - not sure of ages exactly but around 10-12 (two of them) - turned out I was bored out of my mind. The kids disappeared the entire evening to go play video games, etc. - I did get to talk to the sweet dog, LOL - I sat there in complete quiet for 5 hrs. w/my book (it was supposed to be 3 hrs.) - he came home, said he'd hit up the ATM and handed me money - I said "I told you you don't have to pay me", he said he'd told me he would. I was so tired and brain-dead at that point I relented but I really don't want the money (yes, I could use it but it's outrageous to pay that when I did nothing other than put away some food in the fridge). I would have so much better appreciated this if he'd asked it as a favor, suggested that he/his family/he and his girlfriend took me out for dinner or something sometime. Sorry for the long post - this has been stressing me out. Trying to figure out how to return the money but let him know I was offended (I'm sure he didn't mean offense). Not good at telling people to their face how I feel (I tend to cry very easily). Any opinions? Send him an email explains this?
Depends on who what and where.sometimes you need to see why and understand it’s not about you, sometimes you need to let it go, sometimes you need to call it out. Unless you share what it is you’re offended about it’s impossible to advise.
Trying to figure out how to return the money but let him know I was offended (I'm sure he didn't mean offense).
DO NOT do this.
Let it go. Move forward. Donate the money somewhere if it makes you feel better not to have it.
But there's no need to torpedo this relationship by being obstinate about what you admit was not an intentional offense by your friend.
Most people who have kids understand the value of a good babysitter, and it is usually a business transaction. He was trying to be respectful of your time. Don't make it about your feelings.
I appreciate that there have been responses but they don't really say anything. I shared that I was offended that he offered cash instead of just asking for a favor. No clue what realize it's not about me is even supposed to mean.
Let it go. Move forward. Donate the money somewhere if it makes you feel better not to have it.
But there's no need to torpedo this relationship by being obstinate about what you admit was not an intentional offense by your friend.
Most people who have kids understand the value of a good babysitter, and it is usually a business transaction. He was trying to be respectful of your time. Don't make it about your feelings.
Thank you - it seems you have an understanding of this - appreciate it!
At this point, it's too late to say anything. Just pay it forward in some way if you don't want to keep the money.
Next time, if he says, "will you watch them? I'll pay you," say good-naturedly, "don't be silly! I don't want to be paid." Then he will likely insist and you can say, "I'll tell you what? Let's get together for pizza, your treat." Or something like that. These things have to be kept light-hearted. No reason to get offended... paying someone for work done vs being close enough to someone to expect that it will be a favor is a very fine line. Your neighbor erred on the side of compensating you. No harm, no foul.
You'd risk offending your neighbor because you feel offended? Don't do that - particularly since there's no reason to be offended.
Babysitting doesn't always mean playing with kids or feeding them. It means ensuring nobody comes over, they don't leave, they're not getting into the booze, and an adult is present if something should go wrong. You babysat.
You said you could use the money - thank the heavens for providing it.
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