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Northeastern Pennsylvania Scranton, Wilkes-Barre, Pocono area
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Old 05-26-2009, 01:48 PM
 
Location: Western Hoosierland
17,998 posts, read 9,065,071 times
Reputation: 5943

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Good Afternoon NEPA!

How is everyone?
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Old 05-27-2009, 07:34 PM
 
2,473 posts, read 5,455,621 times
Reputation: 1204
My cuz was just in Rome (now she's in Istanbul), so I forwarded this to her...




A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband.. She mentioned the trip to her hairdresser, who responded:

" Rome ? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty.. You're crazy to go to Rome . So, how are you getting there?"

"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"

"Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. " That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome ?"

"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome 's Tiber River called Teste."

"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks its gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump."

"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope."

"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant.

Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."



A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome .

"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot.

And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job, and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"

"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."

"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me.

Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me."

"Oh, really! What'd he say ?"





He said: "Who f*&%ed up your hair?"
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Old 05-28-2009, 12:03 PM
 
2,473 posts, read 5,455,621 times
Reputation: 1204
An Irish man went to confession in St. Patrick's Catholic Church.

'Father', he confessed, 'it has been one month since my last confession. I had sex with Nookie Green twice last month.'

The priest told the sinner, 'You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Mary's.'


Soon thereafter, another Irish man entered the confessional. 'Father, it has been two months since my last confession..

I've had sex with Nookie Green twice a week for the past two months.'

This time, the priest questioned, 'Who is this Nookie Green?'

'A new Irish woman in the neighborhood Father,' the sinner replied.

'Very well,' sighed the priest. Go and say ten Hail Mary's.


At mass the next morning, as the priest prepared to deliver the sermon, a tall, voluptuous, drop-dead gorgeous redheaded woman entered the sanctuary.

The eyes of every man in the church fell upon her as she slowly sashayed up the aisle and sat down right in front of the priest. Her dress was green and very short, and she wore matching, shiny emerald-green shoes.

The priest and the altar boy gasped as the woman in the green dress and matching green shoes sat with her legs spread slightly apart, but just enough to realize she wasn't wearing any underwear.

The priest turned to the altar boy and whispered, 'Is that Nookie Green?'

The bug-eyed altar boy couldn't believe his ears but managed to calmly reply, 'No Father, I think it's just the reflection from her shoes'...

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Old 05-28-2009, 01:15 PM
 
2,834 posts, read 10,768,442 times
Reputation: 1699


I LOVE a good Catholic joke!!

Thanks JG....
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Old 05-29-2009, 06:21 AM
 
2,473 posts, read 5,455,621 times
Reputation: 1204
Sign at one of my friend's house...

"A Clean House Is A Sign Of A Broken Computer"
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Old 05-29-2009, 06:55 AM
 
Location: Dallas, PA
1,418 posts, read 3,585,048 times
Reputation: 602
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jungle George View Post
Sign at one of my friend's house...

"A Clean House Is A Sign Of A Broken Computer"
LOLOL! Sooooo true!
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Old 05-30-2009, 02:15 PM
 
Location: Western Hoosierland
17,998 posts, read 9,065,071 times
Reputation: 5943
Good Afternoon friends!


How is everyone?
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Old 05-31-2009, 08:08 AM
 
1,815 posts, read 5,401,308 times
Reputation: 789
Guess everyone was out enjoying the nice weather we were having yesterday! It was so nice out, low humidity and lots of sun! I went to a few yard sales and a craft fair with my Mom before hitting a local farm stand for some fresh local lettuces. Got a working sewing machine at one of the yard sale for $2 and four nice shirts for $4. Was a good day.

Today is cloudy out, but still warm. I guess I'll tackle the weeds today and mow the lawn. Such an exciting life, eh?
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Old 05-31-2009, 12:54 PM
 
Location: Western Hoosierland
17,998 posts, read 9,065,071 times
Reputation: 5943
Yesterday was cloudy and today is sunny! very lovely weather current temperature 74 degrees with a breeze. Luck with tackling the weeds and lawn!!
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Old 06-01-2009, 04:33 PM
 
Location: Western Hoosierland
17,998 posts, read 9,065,071 times
Reputation: 5943
Anyone ever seen a light up musical fountain?

This is from the local mall.


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