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Northeastern Pennsylvania Scranton, Wilkes-Barre, Pocono area
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Old 06-12-2009, 11:33 AM
 
2,473 posts, read 5,455,621 times
Reputation: 1204

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Am I the only one who remembers a lotta this??

BillsRetroWorld
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Old 06-14-2009, 06:44 AM
 
2,473 posts, read 5,455,621 times
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Something to think about....

I recently picked a new primary care doctor .

After two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, he said I was doing 'fairly well' for my age.

A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, 'Do you think I'll live to be 80?'

He asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer or wine?'

'Oh no,' I replied. 'I'm not doing drugs, either!'

Then he asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs ?

'I said, 'No, my former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!'

'Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?'

'No, I don't,' I said.

He asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?'

'No,' I said.

He looked at me and said,....'Then, why do you even give a ****'?
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Old 06-14-2009, 02:25 PM
 
Location: Lawn Guyland New Yawk
371 posts, read 938,571 times
Reputation: 127
Got a very valid point there JG!!!
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Old 06-15-2009, 06:28 AM
 
2,473 posts, read 5,455,621 times
Reputation: 1204
Two priests decided to go to Hawaii on vacation.

They were determined to make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy. As soon as the plane landed they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc.

The next morning they went to the beach dressed in their 'tourist' garb.

They were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the scenery when a 'drop dead gorgeous' blonde in a topless bikini came walking straight towards them. They couldn't help but stare.

As the blonde passed them she smiled and said 'Good Morning, Father ~ Good Morning, Father,' nodding and addressing each of them individually, then she passed on by. They were both stunned. How in the world did she know they were priests?? So the next day, they went back to the store and bought even more outrageous outfits.

These were so loud you could hear them before you even saw them! Once again, in their new attire, they settled down in their chairs to enjoy the sunshine. After a little while, the same gorgeous blonde, wearing a different coloured topless bikini, taking her sweet time, came walking toward them. Again she nodded at each of them, said 'Good morning, Father ~ Good morning, Father,' and started to walk away.

One of the priests couldn't stand it any longer and said, 'Just a minute, young lady.'

'Yes, Father?'??'

We are priests and proud of it, but I have to know, how in the world do you know we are priests, dressed as we are?'

She replied, 'Father, it's me,............ Sister Kathleen!'
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Old 06-15-2009, 08:27 PM
 
2,834 posts, read 10,768,442 times
Reputation: 1699
JG...you are so freakin' funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 06-16-2009, 11:58 AM
 
2,473 posts, read 5,455,621 times
Reputation: 1204
Default The Importance Of Walking

Walking can add minutes to your life.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This enables you at 85 years old
to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing
home at $7000 per month.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My grandpa started walking
five miles a day when he was 60.
Now he's 97 years old
and we don't know where he is.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I like long walks,
especially when they are taken
by people who annoy me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The only reason I would take up walking
is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I have to walk early in the morning,
before my brain figures out what I'm doing..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I joined a health club last year,
spent about 400 bucks.
Haven't lost a pound.
Apparently you have to go there.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise',
I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I do have flabby thighs,
but fortunately my stomach covers them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The advantage of exercising every day
is so when you die, they'll say,
'Well, she looks good doesn't she.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you are going to try cross-country skiing,
start with a small country.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I know I got a lot of exercise
the last few years,......
just getting over the hill.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We all get heavier as we get older,
because there's a lot more information in our heads.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
AND
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Every time I start thinking too much
about how I look,
I just find a Happy Hour
and by the time I leave,
I look just fine.
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Old 06-16-2009, 02:29 PM
 
Location: Western Hoosierland
17,998 posts, read 9,065,071 times
Reputation: 5943
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Old 06-16-2009, 06:52 PM
 
2,473 posts, read 5,455,621 times
Reputation: 1204
Default And They Say Animals Are Dumb....

THE KISS (http://zecster.lbbhost.com/Pics/Kiss.html?41 - broken link)
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Old 06-16-2009, 07:45 PM
 
2,834 posts, read 10,768,442 times
Reputation: 1699
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jungle George View Post
THE KISS (http://zecster.lbbhost.com/Pics/Kiss.html?41 - broken link)

That is sooo sweet.
Jg...you make me laugh...smile...and hopefully someday you'll make me........


a Pina Colada in your jungle!
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Old 06-17-2009, 07:00 AM
 
1,815 posts, read 5,401,308 times
Reputation: 789
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jungle George View Post
THE KISS (http://zecster.lbbhost.com/Pics/Kiss.html?41 - broken link)
The more people I meet, the smarter animals seem!
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