Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > U.S. Forums > Pennsylvania > Northeastern Pennsylvania
 [Register]
Northeastern Pennsylvania Scranton, Wilkes-Barre, Pocono area
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
Old 06-27-2009, 08:12 AM
 
2,473 posts, read 5,456,159 times
Reputation: 1204

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by gdude View Post
George where do you manage to come up with some of these jokes??? They make me laugh!
I have lotsa friends all over the world, & they all got my sick sense of humor!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A woman in a grocery store happens upon a grandfather and his poorly behaved 3 year-old grandson. It's obvious to her that Gramps has his hands full with the child screaming for candy in the candy aisle, cookies in the cookie aisle; same for fruit, cereal and soda in their respective aisles. Meanwhile, Gramps is working his way around, saying in a controlled voice, "Easy, Albert, we won't be long -- easy, boy."

Another outburst, and she hears Gramps calmly say, "It's okay, Albert, just a couple more minutes and we'll be out of here. Hang in there, boy."

At the checkout, the little terror is throwing items out of the cart, and Gramps again in a controlled voice is says, "Albert, Albert, relax buddy, don't get upset. We'll be home in five minutes; stay cool, Albert."

Very impressed, the woman goes outside where Gramps is loading his groceries and the boy into the car.

"You know, sir, it's none of my business, but you were amazing in there. I don't know how you did it. That whole time, you kept your composure, and no matter how loud and disruptive he got, you just calmly kept saying things would be okay. Albert is very lucky to have you as his grandpa."

"Thanks, lady," said Gramps, "But, I'm Albert -- the little sh*thead's name is Steven!"
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 06-27-2009, 11:42 AM
 
Location: Western Hoosierland
17,998 posts, read 9,066,741 times
Reputation: 5943
HAHA!! ROFLMAO!!!

JG your amazing!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-27-2009, 08:14 PM
 
2,473 posts, read 5,456,159 times
Reputation: 1204
Default A Poem By Mother Teresa

This poem was written by Mother Teresa. It is really beautiful and I wanted to share it with you...

"People are unreasonable, illogical and self-centered.
Love them anyway.

If you do good, people may accuse you of selfish motives.
Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you may win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

Honesty and transparancy make you vulnerable.
Be honest and transparent anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

People who really want help may attack you if you help them.
Help them anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you may get hurt.
Give the world your best anyway."
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-29-2009, 08:41 AM
 
1,815 posts, read 5,401,717 times
Reputation: 789
Monday morning chuckle....

At a yard sale one day I saw a box marked "Electronic cat and dog caller -- guaranteed to work." When I looked inside I was amused to see an electric can opener.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-29-2009, 12:40 PM
 
Location: Western Hoosierland
17,998 posts, read 9,066,741 times
Reputation: 5943
Quote:
Originally Posted by lialleycat View Post
Monday morning chuckle....

At a yard sale one day I saw a box marked "Electronic cat and dog caller -- guaranteed to work." When I looked inside I was amused to see an electric can opener.

that is a little funny a electronic cat and dog caller!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-29-2009, 01:21 PM
 
1,815 posts, read 5,401,717 times
Reputation: 789
Quote:
Originally Posted by gdude View Post
that is a little funny a electronic cat and dog caller!
My cats come to the sound of any can with a pop top lid! Unfortunately the oranges for my salads and the cat food both come with this lid. The cats don't like oranges and get upset with me for teasing them! So I give them some catnip or something while me and the bird have the oranges!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-30-2009, 08:14 AM
 
Location: Western Hoosierland
17,998 posts, read 9,066,741 times
Reputation: 5943
Quote:
Originally Posted by lialleycat View Post
My cats come to the sound of any can with a pop top lid! Unfortunately the oranges for my salads and the cat food both come with this lid. The cats don't like oranges and get upset with me for teasing them! So I give them some catnip or something while me and the bird have the oranges!
hee hee lol!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-30-2009, 08:16 AM
 
2,473 posts, read 5,456,159 times
Reputation: 1204
Default Fantastic!!

One of those magical, powerful moments....




YouTube - The Voices of Glory - America's Got Talent 2009 - 06/23/09
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-01-2009, 04:51 AM
 
1,815 posts, read 5,401,717 times
Reputation: 789
Default Hows this for breakfast?

A tough old Badlands rancher once told his grandson that the secret to long life was to sprinkle a little gunpowder on his oatmeal every morning. The grandson did this religiously and he lived to be 93. When he died he left 14 children, 28 grandchildren, 35 great-grandchildren, and a 15-foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-01-2009, 04:59 AM
 
1,815 posts, read 5,401,717 times
Reputation: 789
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jungle George View Post
One of those magical, powerful moments....
Thanks for sharing JG! That was inspirational for me to watch this morning. Now I can start my Wednesday in a better frame of mind.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Settings
X
Data:
Loading data...
Based on 2000-2020 data
Loading data...

123
Hide US histogram


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > U.S. Forums > Pennsylvania > Northeastern Pennsylvania
Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 08:05 AM.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top