NEPAs Own Off-Topic Thread ( family, home, photos) (tree, firm)

[Jungle George]

Originally Posted by poconoproud

how do mermaids get pregnant?...i mean, like really!


funny stuff!!

Another Viagra ad could have been "HeadOn...apply directly to the Head" but i really like the pecker picker upper...

I took it 1 step further...

Another Viagra ad could have been "HeadOn...apply directly to the foreskin..."

(you KNOW you're gonna hear that every time you hear that commercial now...)

[lialleycat]

Originally Posted by Jungle George

Lolcats ‘n’ Funny Pictures of Cats – I Can Has Cheezburger?

I LOVE this site. I go here when I'm having a particularly bad day at work. It's a cheap fix.

[Jungle George]

Two little old ladies were sitting on a park bench outside the local town hall where a flower show was in progress.

The thin one leaned over and Said, 'Life is so boring. We never have any fun any more. For $10 I'd take my clothes off and streak through that stupid flower show!'

'You're on!' said the other old lady, holding up a $10 note. The first little old lady slowly fumbled her way out of her clothes and, completely naked, streaked (as fast as an old lady can) through the front door of the flower show.

Waiting outside, her friend soon heard a huge commotion inside the hall, followed by loud applause and shrill whistling. The smiling and naked Old lady came through the exit door surrounded by a cheering crowd.

'What happened?' asked her waiting friend.

'I won 1st prize as Best Dried Arrangement. '

[Jungle George]

A Mexican, a Black, and a Texas Redneck were walking together on a beach
when the Black stumbled over a bottle in the sand. He picked up the bottle,
Rubbed the sand off it, and a Genie appeared.

"I can only grant three wishes," the Genie said. "Since there are three of
You, you may have a wish apiece." Pointing at the Black, he said, "Since
You found the bottle, you may have the first wish."

The Black studied for a moment then said, "I wish for a fleet of ships so
That I can gather all my people and take them back to our homeland, Africa ."

Poof! It was done! Hundreds of ships appeared on the skyline.

The Mexican said, "I weesh for enough Cheby peekups to take all my people
Back to our homeland, May-he-co!"

Poof! It was done! Row after row of Chevrolet Pickups appeared on the
Beach.

Turning to the Redneck, the Genie asked, "And what is your wish?"

The Redneck watched as the loaded pickups began moving toward the border,
Then looked out to sea and watched the loaded ships sailing off into the
Sunset and said,

"Just give me a Bud Light. It doesn't get any better than this!"

[Summering]

Here is the fix of the day.........The picture taken from the Ferris Wheel at Wildwood NJ this July 4th week.......
This makes me want to go back, for sure........
But, its nice being home with you all!

[lialleycat]

If you receive an email from the Department of Health telling you not to eat pork packed in a can because of swine flu, ignore it. It's just spam.

[Jungle George]

Originally Posted by lialleycat

If you receive an email from the Department of Health telling you not to eat pork packed in a can because of swine flu, ignore it. It's just spam.

[Jungle George]

A Kansas farm wife called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called - and that on the few occasions, when it did ring, her dog always moaned right before the phone rang.

The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile lady. He climbed a telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house..

The phone didn't ring right away, but then the dog moaned and the telephone began to ring.

Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:

1 . The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire with a steel chain and collar.

2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.

3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the number was called.

4. After a couple of jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate.

5. The wet ground would complete the circuit , thus causing the phone to ring.
Which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by pissing and moaning.

[Jungle George]

I hate housework! You make the beds, do the dishes and six months later you have to do it all over again!!

[Future Trooper]

George I love your jokes!!

How is everyone?