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I'm actually in Virginia Beach now. But I'm not even from this area, I'm from Akron, OH. I have nothing against living around people that have the same interests than I do, regardless of race.
But speaking about Chesapeake; Hampton Roads can be rather ghetto in times, in all of the cities. Yeah Chesapeake has some middle class Black areas, and some nice Black neighborhoods, but it also has some slums. But are you suggesting that DC itself, the city proper, doesn't have the same type of neighborhoods that Chesapeake does? Even Akron and Cleveland have some upper class Black neighborhoods. Main difference between the "DMV" and Hampton Roads, and other states, is the level of income high Black earners have. A Black professional can easily earn 6 figures around here, back in the Midwest, they would have to own a business to get that type of money coming in. In most areas in this country the majority of Black people you will find in a metropolitan area are poor, that is just the way it is. Supposedly it is different in cities like Atlanta, but my experience, everywhere; DC, New York, Chicago, back home, everywhere I go, you see one well to do Black person, there are probably 2 or 3, or 5 or 10, poor Blacks somewhere.
I agree with everything you said. I know there are some nice black neighborhoods down there but my point was the degree of wealthier black people down there to up here is not the same. Dc and pg are pretty much the peak of black wealth in this country. Hampton roads wealth overall doesn't really compare so you not going to find the variance in lifestyle amongst black as often there as you do here. There is a larger range of income here than most parts of the country for blacks.
I agree with everything you said. I know there are some nice black neighborhoods down there but my point was the degree of wealthier black people down there to up here is not the same. Dc and pg are pretty much the peak of black wealth in this country. Hampton roads wealth overall doesn't really compare so you not going to find the variance in lifestyle amongst black as often there as you do here. There is a larger range of income here than most parts of the country for blacks.
Good points. To be honest, I am surprised there are any Blacks here at all. The place just doesn't seem to be for Blacks. It does not have the urban environment Blacks would typically want to live in. Some of the older areas, Norfolk, Hampton, Newport News, Portsmouth, are urban, to an extent, but it is nothing like what you find in the DMV. What is considered urban down here, is suburban up there. I am making the best of it though.
Its not neccesarily about being unsympathetic but for me it was kinda annoying hearing "critiques" from an outsider when it comes to black issues. Even though I'm all about getting different perspectives. I'm not annoyed enough to touch further on it though. So moving on...
Gee, thanks. We are all Americans and can critique each other to our hearts' content. That is our God-given right.
This whole "only black folk can criticise black folk" is just so Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.
That was a joke. Relax. Take a deep breath.
In all seriousness, I don't think anybody or any group is more equal than others and should be subject to the same critical lens.
But here's where the excuse you're giving for blacks who tease their smarter counterpart falls. In the black community, the sense of "unity to fight the (white) man" is shoved down the throats of everyone. However, the reality is that it's a hypocritical facade, and being smart is one of the quickest ways of knowing that.
Non-black communities, while they don't stress that "community connection," they also don't punish their counterparts as much for being "smart" as they do being nerdy and anti-social, like EdwardA said. Unfortunately, American society in general makes intelligence correlative with nerdiness. For every Dr. Gregory Houses, there's 10x as much Sheldon Coopers on TV. However, whites who are smart and are "nerds" have at the least other nerds to connect with, along with more support from their family. Also, they have a smoother path to a future of being "an MIT/Caltech/Berkeley grad with a nice tech job with Asian GFs and spouses." Sounds stereotypical, but it's a nice incentive, and is easier to attain for white nerds than black nerds; somewhat because of exterior racial prejudice, but more due to the pressure of their own ENTIRE COMMUNITY. Compare that to the few jocks, cheerleaders, and MTV-imaged popular kids the white nerds face at school (which only lasts until the end of high school. Afterwards, it's mostly smooth sailing if he isn't too socially awkward).
And lets not even go into how intelligence is stressed and embraced in nearly all of the various Asian communities. I won't even go into stories what some of the nerdiest Asian guys were doing with their Asian female "study buddies" during their "study breaks." No wonder why countries like Japan, S. Korea, and even China are technologically ahead of the US.
wow, you are making alot, alot ALOT of very specific generalizations about races that (gathering from your other posts) you are not a member of.
wow, you are making alot, alot ALOT of very specific generalizations about races that (gathering from your other posts) you are not a member of.
One thing that bothers me is when we talk about issues in the community as if other races do not have those same issues. You have to spend a lot of time in other communities, sometimes as the only minority, to realize what issues those other communities have. Most times the person speaking the loudest, has not spent any time, or very little, around other racial groups at all.
Im confused. Are people saying black folks who live in PG cause they want to be around blacks and be relatively unassimilated, are not trying to succeed or be educated?
I will toss out again, but with a different focus, my most recent PG anecdote. I was at an RPI (an "historically white" college) event, for families of new students, and alums. It was at the home of an alum in a gated community in PG county, outside the beltway. The neighborhood appeared to be all black. The home had african art. It appeared to me this family was proud of their heritage, was happy to live in a mainly black area, and did not want to "assimilate" It also was clear to me that they valued education, were proud of RPI, and valued work and success. I could sense the same vibe I would feel in the home of a Conservative or Reform Jewish family in Bethesda or Rockville - a foot in both worlds. A struggle to integrate them. Knowing some of that struggle, in other contexts, I respected that.
Now black folks who live in Fairfax county are making a different choice. Just as, I might add, Jewish folks who live in Fairfax rather than in MoCo are making a different choice. Not necessarily a better or worse choice, but a different one.
Im confused. Are people saying black folks who live in PG cause they want to be around blacks and be relatively unassimilated, are not trying to succeed or be educated?
I will toss out again, but with a different focus, my most recent PG anecdote. I was at an RPI (an "historically white" college) event, for families of new students, and alums. It was at the home of an alum in a gated community in PG county, outside the beltway. The neighborhood appeared to be all black. The home had african art. It appeared to me this family was proud of their heritage, was happy to live in a mainly black area, and did not want to "assimilate" It also was clear to me that they valued education, were proud of RPI, and valued work and success. I could sense the same vibe I would feel in the home of a Conservative or Reform Jewish family in Bethesda or Rockville - a foot in both worlds. A struggle to integrate them. Knowing some of that struggle, in other contexts, I respected that.
Now black folks who live in Fairfax county are making a different choice. Just as, I might add, Jewish folks who live in Fairfax rather than in MoCo are making a different choice. Not necessarily a better or worse choice, but a different one.
Making a different choice is certainly a new way of looking at things. I don't think that someone choosing to live in PG county is doing so because they don't value education and success. Many people will tell you that they want to raise their family in the nicer parts of PG county versus VA because they want their children surrounded by black doctors and lawyers.
I don't have a lot of experience with the black elite but my hometown has a pretty large black middle class and there's still that fake hood mentality. I really saw it when I did substitute teaching. It was funny seeing kids being dropped off at school in Mercedes and Lexuses trying to act all hood. I haven't really noticed that in VA but I don't have kids so who knows?
I don't have a lot of experience with the black elite but my hometown has a pretty large black middle class and there's still that fake hood mentality. I really saw it when I did substitute teaching. It was funny seeing kids being dropped off at school in Mercedes and Lexuses trying to act all hood. I haven't really noticed that in VA but I don't have kids so who knows?
That sounds like what Tom Wolfe described in an early chapter of "A Man in Full". Though TW is not particularly fond of that affectation, I think he gave what seemed to me an idea of its appeal.
Now I live in the suburbs and there's hardly an issue with trash and people care about the environment, but there's still no connection. When I lived in DC, I was around people of my race but felt divided because of different beliefs, and now I live around people who are a similar class but we're divided by race. There's no real connection or balance here.
Which makes the DC area not as racially progressive as it thinks it is. I give most of Northern VA credit for it being one of the few beacons of racial harmony. However, DC area employers have the tendency of hiring transplants from the Northeast and Midwest who tend to hold racist views. You don't have a bunch of Western and non-racist Southern transplants coming for the jobs, unlike how they're doing in places like Arizona, Colorado, and Texas. This is definitely causing NoVA to be diluted with elements that it doesn't need, and I hope they don't turn this place into another version of Long Island or suburban Milwaukee.
As for not finding blacks who one can relate to, I've dove in that pond enough, but I will say this. If every predominantly black place resembled Woodmore and Ft. Washington instead of Landover and Seat Pleasant, the "ain't black enough" conundrum wouldn't be much of an issue.
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Originally Posted by terrence81
I've said it before but I'll say it again. I understand that you got the business growing up but you're an adult. You have to let it go. There are plenty of non-ghetto black people and generally all around cool of all races in the DC area. While I don't commute into DC, I have found that with age ignoring people who wanna be ugly about Terrence being Terrence is so much easier.
I agree it definitely goes a lot deeper. Yep I've definitely been told that "I talk white". Living in Virginia makes it easier to disassociate from those that would say that. I've never gotten that "traitor" attitude from fellow black folks living in VA. DC and Maryland? Yeah a few have given me the business but the number is still much lower than when I was growing up in Georgia.
And there you go, you don't have to deal with commuting to DC and deal with the "not black enough" prejudice I deal with on a daily basis. I'll admit that's it's easier to deal with living in VA vs DC or PG, but dealing with the militant black BS while at work and commuting still makes this place a drag. You get to go to DC on your own discretion. Also, you moved from the general area where you had to deal with the issues. I'm still stuck here thanks to the Bush & Obama strategy of only creating jobs in and around Washington. You don't even see Obama moving Federal Gov't jobs to places that are "non-ghetto black friendly" like San Diego, Seattle, and Denver.
I know you mean all of this in constructive criticism, so don't take this personal. But feeling like you're stuck in the same area even after you take crap from all sides in the name of not being "black enough" takes a toll on your psyche and distorts your view.
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Originally Posted by goofy328
If you have a complex about not being "Black" in the traditional sense face your fears instead of living around a bunch of White folks, if that is your reason for living in NoVa.
Perhaps it is different up there, but I believe in being unapologetic about who you are.
I've "faced my fears" by living in DC and PG for years, and still am facing the music of judgment on a daily basis EVERY SINGLE DAY by my own.
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We need more smart, nerd like, Black people around thugged out, ghetto, Black people in order to maintain some sense of balance and order in the community. The problem is that Black people just don't know anything about each other, so if you have any sense about you and you wear an actual suit and tie, instead of jeans and a t-shirt, there is a problem because people automatically assume that you think that you are better than they are. So they automatically have issues with you before you even speak, but how often do we really interact with them?
And I did that for years (granted it was involuntary since I was a teenager) and as I iterated time after time, IT DOESN'T WORK. The "community" had its place and time, but now it's just a shell of what it was! Many smart and nerdy (or just plain and regular non-ghetto blacks) get the shaft from the get-go by getting dissed by their fellow peers, getting "no play" from the females, and not uncommonly get disowned by their so-called family.When that happens, you know that "the community" has officially Jumped the Shark.
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It really isn't a White or Black issue, it is a socioeconomic issue. Just how far can you get away from it? Then you run into that situation where White people like you because you aren't like the rest of them. You're different, you're safe; to me that is just as offensive.
And as offensive as that is, it 10x more offense to get disowned for doing things to improve your life by the exact community that stresses "unity in ethnicity."
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Being young and Black hurts, period, but that is just the way it is doesn't matter what you do you can't get away from it.
But here's the difference. Back in the day, when you were getting crap for being black, fellow blacks had your back! Now, if you get crap from being black, unless you're a balla, hustla, gangsta, athlete, or thug, consider yourself SoL!
Fairfaxian has Sooooo many negative opinions of "blacks". I mean Sheesh! I wonder if his real name is Clayton Bigsby
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