Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Location: Oklahoma(formerly SoCalif) Originally Mich,
13,387 posts, read 19,473,268 times
Reputation: 4611
So, there's this yellow toad wandering around in the forest feeling very fed up because he doesn't want to be yellow. Life would be easier if he was brown like other toads.. He'd sure be less visible to predators for one thing.
Anyway...this yellow toad bumps into a Fairy Godmother. He begs her: "Fairy Godmother, please make me brown like the other toads. I am tired of being so visible to predators and such."
The Fairy Godmother whips out her magic wand and says "Abracapokus! You're brown!"
The toad looks down and sees that he's brown except for his package, which is still yellow. He says to the Fairy Godmother:
"Wait a minute! My willy's still yellow!"
To this the Fairy Godmother replies: "I don't do willys. You will have to see the The Wizard of Oz for that."
The toad thanks her and hops off on his way.
There is also a purple bear wandering about the very same woods. As luck would have it, he encounters the very same Fairy Godmother. He implores her: "Fairy Godmother, please make me brown like the other bears. None of the lady bears want to be seen with me on account of the hunters can spot me
from a mile off."
She, being a nice Fairy Godmother, takes out her magic wand and says: "Pokuscadabra! You're brown!"
The bear looks down and sees the he is, in fact, brown with the exception of the ole twig and berries, they remain purple. He says: "My willy is still purple!"
She says: "I don't do willys, you will have to go see The Wizard of Oz for that."
To this the bear replies: "Well that's just dandy, but how the hell do I find The wizard of Oz?"
The fairy godmother answers: "That's easy .....just follow the yellow dick toad!"
After 35 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one evening, when the wife felt her husband begin to fondle her in ways he hadn't in quite some time
It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down past the small of her back.
He then caressed her shoulders and neck slowly worked his hand down over her chest stopping just over her lower stomach..
He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, caressed past the side of her chest again, working down her side, passed gently over her buttock and down her leg to her calf. Then he proceeded up her inner thigh, stopping just at the uppermost portion of her leg. He continued in the same manner on her right side, then suddenly stopped, rolled over and started to watch the TV.
As she had become quite aroused by this caressing, she asked in a loving voice, "That was wonderful. Why did you stop?"
He said, "I found the remote"..
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Priorites
