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I posted this on the religion board. I hope I didn't step on anyones toe's over there. I am not getting any response over there. I believe in God myself but I do have a since of humor. I believe God gave it to me.
When Katrina hit New Orleans. A rescuer in a boat came to a house and told a man to get in and he would take him to a safe place. The man declined and said."I trust in God to save me".
As the water kept rising, the man went to the second story of his house. Another rescuer showed up in a boat and told the man "get in the boat and I will take you to a safe place". Again the man declined and said," I trust in God! He will save me". Finally the water rose so much he had to get on his roof. A helicopter showed up and a rescuer ask the the man to...
please get in, and the man replied "God! He will save me"!
Well needless to say.. the man drowned.
When he went to Heaven he ask God why he didn't save him and God replied...
" I sent you two boats and a helicopter!
I posted this on the religion board. I hope I didn't step on anyones toe's over there. I am not getting any response over there. I believe in God myself but I do have a since of humor. I believe God gave it to me.
When Katrina hit New Orleans. A rescuer in a boat came to a house and told a man to get in and he would take him to a safe place. The man declined and said."I trust in God to save me".
As the water kept rising, the man went to the second story of his house. Another rescuer showed up in a boat and told the man "get in the boat and I will take you to a safe place". Again the man declined and said," I trust in God! He will save me". Finally the water rose so much he had to get on his roof. A helicopter showed up and a rescuer ask the the man to...
please get in, and the man replied "God! He will save me"!
Well needless to say.. the man drowned.
When he went to Heaven he ask God why he didn't save him and God replied...
" I sent you two boats and a helicopter!
It's always good to know what's written in the Bible...
A friend of mine from church sent me this..
An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of Church services when she was startled by an intruder. She caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables and yelled, "Stop! Acts 2:38!" (Scripture to Repent and be baptized, in the name of Jesus Christ so that your sins may be forgiven.) The burglar stopped in his tracks.
The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done. As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar, "Why did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a Bible scripture to you."
"Scripture?" replied the burglar. "She said she had an Axe and Two 38's!"
Last edited by Magnum Mike; 09-20-2008 at 08:26 AM..
Reason: It's always good to know what's written in the Bible...
Ok so theres this airplane thats owned by a kkk member.He lets anybody fly because it's bad for buisness just to allow only one race aboard.He is also the pilot of the plane.
So the plane is flying to through the air and suddenly the pilot comes on over the intercom and says "This is your pilot speaking, Theres been a slight miscalculation with the planes weight capacity and some people are going to have to jump off the plane to save the majority, now I'm a fair man so I will decide who jumps by race starting from A to Z" He then says "Ok A. all african americans please jump off the plane, B. all blacks, please jump off the plane, C.all colored people please jump off the plane."
A black man and his son were still seated and the black man's son said to his father "Daddy arn't we african american,black, and colored? and his father replies "yes son but we nigas today!!
Last edited by Gangsta Disciple; 09-22-2008 at 07:16 AM..
This one could be a joke or a true situation..can't remember which..anyway
Not sure if it is still available in Canada but years back they had a pain pill that you could buy in a drugstore via the pharmasist only by asking for and not on the open shelf. It was called "222". This is true as relatives brought it over for my mother as have I purchased it also on vacation. Getting to the story....
A Eldorly lady was returning from Canada on the airplane. On going thru American Customs she was asked " do you have any 222"?, "222 she says, I don't have one 22 let alone two 22's. I don't like guns. End of story. Steve
Ok first off let me say that I am not a raceist and i hear these raceist jokes from skinhead kids who stay near me. I even find the ones aginst my own race funny...sorry had to get that off my chest now heres the joke.
OK so theres this average guy with a wife and no kids. He collects antiques for fun and one day he went to a yard sale and saw this really old tea pot.He bought it from the owner for a dollar and took it home with him. When he got home his wife nagged him about being late so he went outside and sat on his patio with the tea pot at hand.He noticed it was dusty and rubbed it.
Suddenly a gunie came out of the tea pot and said "I'm Free!!! I shall now grant you 3 wishes but whatever you wish for your wife gets double." The man agreed and wished for 2 million dollars. 3 suitcases suddenly appeared full of money. one for him and 2 for his wife.The man then said "I wish I had a jet. 3 jets suddenly appeared 1 for the man and 2 for his wife. The gunie then said "Ok kind sir you have but one more wish so use it wisely but remember whatever you recive your spouse shall recive double. The man thought long and hard and finaly said
Yo momma so fat shes on myspace,your space,everybodys space!.
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It's always good to know what's written in the Bible...
I've got another one....
What? i know alot of jokes!
A mommas joke
