Just so sad about what my daughter is going thru.... (method, teenage)
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Oh please, I think I know about bullying, I was bullied all through grade school and part of middle school. I went to the teachers, principal, counselors and my parents. They all gave me nice-sounding advice like others on here do, "Ignore them", "Try to act super-sweet to them" or "Don't let it get to you." blah blah blah.
None of it stopped until I accepted the main bully's challenge to a fight. Of course, being twice my size, she gave me a black eye, but it stopped. We later became friends and she told me she respected my standing up to her.
Bullying IS different at different ages. I can't imagine a 2nd grader ending up in the hospital on high school bullied victims do sometimes. Also young children are easier to correct. That's where we agree, older kids that have gotten away with it get bolder.
Great you brought that up because that is one of many other ways. The other suggestion have worked on others. The point is that there is no cookie cutter solution so I do not agree with your dissmisive comments on the others that covered other suggestions, their have worked on others also, take care.
Well, I think that if things are really bad, consider letting your daughter change schools. This can really damage her, and make her feel miserable, and suicidal. Bullying is worse than we can imagine, and saying, "Oh, just let it brush off" does not work at that age. Girls can be mean at that age. She has come to you, now, let her make a choice, if things are really bad, there has to be more solutions...This is not "letting the mean girls win", this is about your daughter, and her feelings...present some choices to her, in regards to changing schools, or maybe a reduced day at school, with some classes being done at home. The way she is treated now, can impact her for her entire life.
I too, feel for her. I was picked on off and on from about fourth grade into ninth, of which one bout of it was from my then-best friend and a new friend of hers. I'm not going to lie and say this stuff didn't affect me negatively (what I got from it I don't know other than still being suspicious of other people's intentions) but in any case, sometimes ignoring them completely might help. But then again there are the outside ones who will always instigate it by asking her "did you hear what so-and-so said?" It sounds like you already talked to her honestly about it. Ask her if there are any hobbies she might be interested in or outside of school (though hobbies through school might build her social base a bit).
This might be a tad off-topic but the first time I watched Bring It On: Fight To The Finish, I wished that movie had been around when I was younger. There are a lot of great comebacks Lina and her friends used to keep themselves on the same footing as their bully if you've ever seen that movie. If nothing else it might get her imagination running coming up with some of her own. That movie might also show your daughter that she can use the incident to learn and grow and concentrate on what's important, which she might need right now. I hope this helps. Good luck.
Jane gives Lucy "looks". The kind of "looks" that say I hate you and you are the worst person on Earth. Jane also takes whatever opportunities she had to tell Lucy she is "worthless, fat, ugly, no one likes her, etc.". Jane is a real b#$ch.
Jane's actions are tormenting Lucy to the point she doesn't want to go to school and is breaking down in tears over the thought of going to school. Things got really out of hand when some gossip and rumors were posted anonymously online about Lucy being a "lesbian".
The situation started because Lucy said she likes a boy that Jane also likes. Up to that point, there weren't any issues with Jane's behavior.
Tell me, great teacher and bully vanquisher, what do you do to make Jane stop?
Well, firstly, I am going to tell the poster who is so threatened by my posts, which he/she has decided to use sarcasm to demean and attack what I say, that I don't tolerate bullying and will not respond to one until he/she decides that I am worthy of respect.
Oh please, I think I know about bullying, I was bullied all through grade school and part of middle school. I went to the teachers, principal, counselors and my parents. They all gave me nice-sounding advice like others on here do, "Ignore them", "Try to act super-sweet to them" or "Don't let it get to you." blah blah blah.
None of it stopped until I accepted the main bully's challenge to a fight. Of course, being twice my size, she gave me a black eye, but it stopped. We later became friends and she told me she respected my standing up to her.
Bullying IS different at different ages. I can't imagine a 2nd grader ending up in the hospital on high school bullied victims do sometimes. Also young children are easier to correct. That's where we agree, older kids that have gotten away with it get bolder.
So, is this what you would do at work?? Challenge your bully to a fight??
Ridiculous.
I will not have my child resort to physical violence and get in trouble or get suspended. What needs to happen is the CRIMINALS in this matter --- yes, CRIMINALS --- need to be stopped in their tracks by the authorities (principal, teachers, dean, guidance counselors, parents, whoever).
In NY where I live, it is a crime to harass someone. See section 240.25, 240.26, of the NYS Penal Code. See also section 240.20 -- Disorderly Conduct. Both are CRIMES.
Like I said, if this conduct happened in the workplace (or any other public place), the person would be arrested or fired.
Regardless of what action you choose to take, give your daughter a huge hug and let her cry in your arms whenever she needs it. I know it won't help the matter, but your daughter will feel much better knowing that her mom stands behind her and wants the best for her.
What needs to happen is the CRIMINALS in this matter --- yes, CRIMINALS --- need to be stopped in their tracks by the authorities (principal, teachers, dean, guidance counselors, parents, whoever).
How is that going to happen? You already admitted that the schools do nothing about "talk" to bullies and then bullies just continue via to sneaking.
Quote:
Originally Posted by omigawd
In NY where I live, it is a crime to harass someone. See section 240.25, 240.26, of the NYS Penal Code. See also section 240.20 -- Disorderly Conduct. Both are CRIMES.
No court will charge young girls with harrassment or discorderly conduct for gossiping loud enough for someone to hear. It's not going to happen.
Regardless of what action you choose to take, give your daughter a huge hug and let her cry in your arms whenever she needs it. I know it won't help the matter, but your daughter will feel much better knowing that her mom stands behind her and wants the best for her.
Thank you!
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other than still being suspicious of other people's intentions) but in any case, sometimes ignoring them completely might help. But then again there are the outside ones who will always instigate it by asking her "did you hear what so-and-so said?" It sounds like you already talked to her honestly about it. Ask her if there are any hobbies she might be interested in or outside of school (though hobbies through school might build her social base a bit).
That movie might also show your daughter that she can use the incident to learn and grow and concentrate on what's important, which she might need right now. I hope this helps. 
Good luck.
