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I disagree with those who think any one who wants a big family is mentally ill. Just because most people want 0-2 kids doesn't make those who actually want more kids insane. I think that the problem is that people don't discuss these issues before marriage. This man should have married a woman who didn't want to be a mother and she should have married a man who wanted a large family.
I don't really understand this response, I think the fact is he doesn't want 5, he seems pretty darn happy with 4. While I agree people do get slack for wanting more kids and that is unfair, I do think that is a different thread and has nothing to do with PaulFranks situation.
I just think his wife feels like she lacks any control in their relationship. She lacks the ability to make decisions. Why she feels this way is the issue they need to resolve. It could be medical, could be founded, we don't know the whole story. She isn't on here. I believe going to the counselor will clear the air.
I should have married someone who didn't want to be a mother? Where the hell are you getting that? Because I don't want 5 or more I don't want any? What the? Come on now. I love being a dad, I just don't want a village. That's all.
I do believe they are addressing other posters who've said having a large family is a bad idea. (I also do not agree with them) I don't think it is just you personally. At least that is my IMO.
I disagree with those who think any one who wants a big family is mentally ill. Just because most people want 0-2 kids doesn't make those who actually want more kids insane. I think that the problem is that people don't discuss these issues before marriage. This man should have married a woman who didn't want to be a mother and she should have married a man who wanted a large family.
no one said that. We think she's "mentally ill" for lack of a softer term because she did a 180 degree change in a short amount of time, and is making illogical, life-changing threats; and because the post pregnancy hormones can cause you to think some wacky thoughts.
The OP never said he didn't want to be a father (where are you even getting this stuff?). They both wanted a kid or 2. *Somehow* they ended up with 4. this is not a person who doesn't want to be a dad. this is a person with 4 kids, mostly unplanned on his part, and no health insurance.
Your best line of approach with your wife is to approach the matter on a financial standpoint.
You cannot sustain 5 kids as they keep growing. If she cannot understand this, she is definitely unstable in terms of mental health. You just can't "work a lot" and put 5 kids through their whole life until adolescence. Four's already a major burden.
Something's lacking in your wife's life (real or imagined) for her to make such a fuss over having a 5th child. I wonder why she just can't stay busy as-is, enjoying the family she has. And how strange that she'll willing to break up her family, something she supposedly cherishes so much, over this issue. Maybe she just likes being pregnant? In any case, someone's got to bring her back to reality and how a marriage is a union, not a dictatorship. I feel for you and hope it turns out well.
I've been following this thread and for the life of me I cannot understand why a husband who has a wife who loves him and his children so much that she yearns to bear him a fifth wishes to deny her that joy. (As long as it is financially plausible and does not place the mother at an undue health risk.)
I've been following this thread and for the life of me I cannot understand why a husband who has a wife who loves him and his children so much that she yearns to bear him a fifth wishes to deny her that joy. (As long as it is financially plausible and does not place the mother at an undue health risk.)
Does the OP have any idea how blessed he is?
It isn't financially plausible IMO, and she didn't want another one, and even considered terminating the last one. Any husband would be crazy to not question her thinking in this situation. And what about her threatening to divorce him over this? What about her considering his feelings, and not threatening to break up the whole family if she doesn't get her way? I know we're only hearing one side of the story, but I can't for the life of me see home the husband is wrong here.
I've been following this thread and for the life of me I cannot understand why a husband who has a wife who loves him and his children so much that she yearns to bear him a fifth wishes to deny her that joy. (As long as it is financially plausible and does not place the mother at an undue health risk.)
Does the OP have any idea how blessed he is?
If you really did read the thread, how did you manage to miss that he works a lot to support the 4 kids he has now? Wife is asking him to basically go without sleep so she can have a new toy to play with.
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In any case, someone's got to bring her back to reality and how a marriage is a union, not a dictatorship. I feel for you and hope it turns out well.
